The more I get laid, the less I care if the other person enjoys it. How do I fix this? [recovered]

EthicalSeduction · 2022-04-30T13:47:20+00:00

It’s so much easier for us to sit at home and masturbate (less time, no drama) BUT we somehow WANT to go out and meet someone and deal with all the time, energy, and effort it takes to do so. So why?? Why are they that important to us?

I believe it’s because we don’t just want to cum, but to feel connected to someone! That is what makes it worth the effort! So I’m totally pro-sex and sex-positive and think one night stands can be good positive experiences, but that’s no longer what you are experiencing.

In many ways you have moved past the earlier “need” to learn how to meet someone. But you are not clicking with these people which is why you don’t care. There is NOTHING wrong with you. You just are pulling people you don’t care about. Welcome to the next phase where you have to learn to pull the person you do care about. This is a better phase, more meaningful, scarier too.

If you feel bad fucking and leaving someone, just skip that. You know you have the skills to get laid, but now you want to share this with someone cool. Not “the one” but someone who holds your attention. So start searching for the quality, awesome person. You may need to look in new venues, away from clubs. But when you find this person or these people, you will totally be into them! They are worth the effort and so are you!

Again, you have done so much right and there isn’t anything wrong with you. This is part of growing. You couldn’t have done this before but now you can. It’s the next challenge and more rewarding. :)

hagakurejunkie · 2022-04-30T22:09:24+00:00

Because you're picking up women you aren't actually interested in. I used to do that and I felt hollow.

Now I purposefully stick to going after women I'm really into. Sometimes I will turn her down for sex the first few dates (I'll tease her, play with her etc but won't pull my dick out). I want to really want to sleep with the girl and I can be patient. I have my "conquest" number, I have nothing left to prove to myself or anyone else in that department.

You obviously have the game to get women, now focus on a new challenge. Go for the women you REALLY want.

clonejutsu69 · 2022-04-30T22:24:37+00:00

Interesting. Also... this gives me even less hope in humanity. Lol

The end in nigh...

So u literally still pickup girls in bars? Woh...

It's like dating apps don't want you to go out in public...

MetaphysicPhilosophy · 2022-04-30T19:58:12+00:00

Just a question man. Do you really enjoy this lifestyle? I mean it sounds pretty bleak to me. Wouldn't you like to be able to have an emotional connection with some of these women instead of just fucking them and ditching? It just seems kind of depressing. I mean getting laid helps your ego and it feels good, but that's about it.

beardthrowaway91 · 2022-04-30T22:37:32+00:00

How old are you ?

Blaphrodite · 2022-05-01T02:30:23+00:00

Don’t be an asshole as suggested by guys here. Bad habits can be hard to break. When you make a habit of treating people like gloryholes, it can be hard to come off that road to start being a decent person. If she gives you a hard time or you feel she isn’t worth connecting with then, pass. Reject her outright instead of being a 2 pump chump.

Imagine word getting around that you’re a bad lay after you’ve fucked half the girls in your area code. There isn’t an app for this right now, but there could be. Jk

Be a decent person is what I’m saying

Silver-Variation8903 · 2022-04-30T12:47:33+00:00

Why do you want to fix it?

I see no issue. You will eventually find a girl who you like and want to pleasure. Until then, I see absolutely no issue in you just caring about yourself.

Side note, sometimes (most times) girls actually like when you don’t care about them during sex, believe it or not girls get performance anxiety too, and if you’re going above and beyond to pleasure her, she will feel anxiety to perform. Where if you just fuck her selfishly, she can just sit back and enjoy the show without worrying about living up to your expectations.

akuma12345 · 2022-04-30T19:10:25+00:00

Thats a good problem to have

kawaiiobake · 2022-04-30T21:25:10+00:00

It seems like your philosophy here makes a lot of sense. Why would you give them the special treats when they're giving you trouble?

I would keep on keeping on as you already are, and save the good stuff for those who truly deserve it.

nehebdjdbdj556666666 · 2022-04-30T15:51:05+00:00

You don’t need to fix it. Women can rub their bean to get off or go jam that vibrator in their piss box.

Only_Commercial_774 · 2022-04-30T15:11:24+00:00

Maybe that happens ti all of over time we’ll just stop caribg

BronzeInABush · 2022-04-30T17:56:12+00:00

You should be doing things that make you happy man. I think a lot of what's happening here is reactionary. You are actually lowering your value by having sex with women you feel disrespected you. They are the ones in control and you try to take it back by only caring about yourself in the moment.

Once you can say no to your own ego and stop reacting, that's when you become free.

lukitadagaler · 2022-04-30T20:03:45+00:00

Excuse me, but. What's your skincare routine?

OTXnando · 2022-04-30T19:14:51+00:00

I feel like the more times i have sex with the same girl the chase is over on my part I feel like I have no reason to chase anymore. btw this girl was my high school crush I was sprung on her in high school. Now after so many times of fucking her brains out now it’s like ehh meh whatever.

Murrman1978 · 2022-04-30T15:29:58+00:00

What did you learn at boot camps? I heard they are expensive (2-3 grand). Are they worth it?

Any advice on where to find info on how to make women squirt or give good massages?

Tom Tererro always said for beginners, it is about 100 approaches for 1 lay while intermediate is 5 to 100 and advanced is 10 to 100. How accurate is that?

fewbar2021 · 2022-04-30T20:12:45+00:00

Make it fun.Find something they want to do and try to get excited about it.

AceCoE · 2022-05-01T04:25:58+00:00

I used to have a similar resentment, but ironically at the beginning of my journey rather than deep into it like yours. It was mostly fueled by all the moody/petty bullshit I got from girls while learning to game better. In my case it was mostly my fault - I was coming off 2 years of dead social life and rusty social skills. There's a few ways I improved my attitude about resentment though:

For petty/aggravating things: just accept it's part of human psychology and social dynamics and you have to deal
If she's genuinely out of pocket: don't feel like you have to accept or let it slide everytime. Use it as your own shit test to kind of put them on the spot. I'll admit this might mean fucking up a set, guess you'll have to decide if the pussy or your sanity is more worthwhile. I learned this one from a real alpha friend of mine. He deadass will blow off the arrogant beautiful girls even when they approach him or show interest, because he doesn't want to deal their bullshit.

Shadow__Account · 2022-05-01T09:51:39+00:00

I think you need to work on your passive aggressiveness and self respect by stating your boundaries. As you can tell it doesn't actually feel good to surpress who you are just to get something you want . (paying the bill, being all nice and friendly with a girl that rejected you) and afterwards basically blaming the other person for the bad feeling instead of viewing it as your own weakness/ flaw. I think that is the deeper issue here and why you get into these unhealthy situations. You can get laid so let go of that goal oriented thinking of needing to get the girl, focus on living according to your values, if it feels bad, say it, have those boundaries. Stop pushing buttons so much and accept we are not all compatible and go for the women that you actually like and that make you feel good. Look I'm just preaching here, I am not pretending I don't have similar moments where I wish I would have handled things differently either, but this is theoretical.

aidenpearce55 · 2022-05-05T15:15:52+00:00

It's natural that as you mature sexually, you focus more on making sure your own needs are met. It's perfectly normal that once you know you can get what you want, you'll tolerate fewer unnecessary obstacles being out in your way. I also think this is your subconscious telling you that these women aren't valid LTR prospects, it's normal not to want to continue spending time with someone who irritates you unnecessarily.

Title	The more I get laid, the less I care if the other person enjoys it. How do I fix this? [recovered]
Author	beardthrowaway91 [recovered]
Upvotes	43
Comments	40
Date	April 30, 2022 12:34 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ufa6ik/the_more_i_get_laid_the_less_i_care_if_the_other/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-more-i-get-laid-the-less-i-care-if-the-other.1260802 https://theredarchive.com/post/1260802

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