~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
[deleted]
[–]HashesAshes 46 points47 points48 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
🤣🤣🤣 the only piece of advice I have is don’t be so hard in yourself, next time you go think of 10 years from now. When I go out and I start overthinking I then start thinking in 10 years nobody will remember my face (even tho I’m sexy as hell😌✌️) after I have that thought I just have fun for me and get wild. Literally people come up to me during and start dancing with me and get my info, or after and get my info.
Let me ask you this… do you remember anybody from that night? Like clearly remember their face and what they were doing.
[–]no_not_this 90 points91 points92 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I was there and remember this weird dude in the corner mumbling he was going to jack off when he gets home.
[–]HashesAshes 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You’re gonna forget about that guy weather it be a week or a few years from now rn that guy is just a face to you of which there are many. Next time you go out have use what I have said and get loose 🥂
[–]no_not_this 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Whoosh
[–]TommyWilson43 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ironically we will all forget this immediately
[–]rough-man 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
This so much. Nobody fucking cares. And even if people remembered, what's more important to you? That some stranger thought you didn't look cool or that you move your life in the direction you want to go? Tylers cold pool analogy always resonated with my own experiences. You have to JUMP in even though it doesn't feel nice when you dip your toes. Once you're in everything is all good. But you have to take action to get there. I had shitty nights like you describe where I couldn't push myself. And I had great nights. Forget the outcome - you're not there to look like a rock star, you're not there to fuck the first girl you talk to - focus on building momentum, experimenting and having fun. Build reference experiences. The more action you take, the more social freedom you'll feel. That's all you need to focus on.
[–]Mishawnuodo 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And even if you screw up so phenomenally that someone actually does remember in 10 years, think of the laughs you'll have to have brought that person in order to remember you after all that time. Comedians DREAM of being remembered like that. They'll remember you when they're feeling down and you'll brighten their day again and again over time 😉
[–]skyrunner22 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You did great! Exposure therapy says do a little at a time, you actually made it to the venue and peeped the scene.. Go again ASAP, now try to just talk to a bartender or something quick, or a staff member that isnt busy.. Quick convo, little by little.. Next thing you know wyou will be talking to girls..
Might take you a couple times before you work up courage but just do it.. Oh and atleast have your inner game lined up.. Reframe these steps as positive and dont beat yourself up soo much
[–]5_7pickup 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I go out solo all the time. Refer to my field reports
[–]Bitlack 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Props on you for having the balls to go out by yourself
[–]IGetBoredSometimes23 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A seduction expert is going to only succeed 5% of the time. For a rookie, it's 1%.
Its all a numbers game. Keep at it and you'll do fine.
[–]JacobMoogberg69 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hahaha, don't sweat it. It happens to everyone. What you experienced was the society Matrix working against you, making you feel inadequate and like a loser for dating to go against it. For dating to go after what you want without being tall, good looking and rich or high status. The Matrix must defeat every average guy who dares raise up from his status as a nobody.
Next time you go out, resolve to stay in the bar all night until you are kicked out. And only have one drink an hour. You cannot get drunk. Once you have stayed all night and survived your confidence will skyrocket.
[–]recursivePasta 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Progressive desensitize yourself.
Say hi to random dudes x5 Compliment random dudes x5 Tell random dudes a fucked up stories x5 Say hi to girls x5 Say hi and compliment girls x5 Now you are ready for an approach.
I've been doing it for 4 months and some days I still need to do these warm ups.
[–]affinitypaw 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Do you ever feel like those warm ups are just cop out conversations in disguise, or do they truly help? Just curious, I don't mean to flame/insult. I personally have found them to be another manner of avoidance
[–]recursivePasta 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well you do these to warm up, and then you start approaching.
You can read up in my post history, I do them all the time and then crank out 15 proper approaches.
[–]constructioncity 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
even the pros get rejected abd blown out almost non stop.
Do'nt worry about it. YOu can't seduce a girl who isn't into you
https://youtu.be/ZKYXyhzx8kQ
[–]Meteora_Sage 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You didn’t make one approach? That’s not failing. That’s just nothing. Bro, solo cold approach is the pinnacle of learning seduction. You should not be doing this so soon.
It’s scary and takes mad balls. The rejections can be harsh as fuck. But so can the successes, since you’re out alone, it shows you’ve got huge balls.
When I solo sarge I approach groups of girls clubbing or such who look straight up like models. Habit. Doesn’t mean I get them. It’s just an interesting thing what usually happens.
[–]devilkingx2 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
First get comfortable with going out solo, do it as much as possible for a while without worrying about girls and then once it feels normal to you, then you can start worrying about girls. Also make sure to meet people other than hot girls and get to know them, that will help.
Another tip is have however many shots you need to have at home (1-3) to walk into the bar with confidence.
[–]TheBurgessChurchill 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I understand what it's like and that's why I started teaching. I wanted to create a system that would turn anyone into a natural. A charismatic man. Doing well with women requires a few things: social skills, social intelligence (very important) frame control, and a strong inner game. Send me a message and I can help you. It will take too long to explain here.
[–]AelfredRex -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"I'm gonna go out and get laid!".... the Grand Mistake. Expectations are there to be ruined.
All social situations are unpredictable, hence why expectations fail, so embrace the Chaos. Just head down to your local to have a pint or two, not to pick up women. If women are there... again, embrace the Chaos. It might happen, it might not. Observe, assess, and adapt.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]affinitypaw 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A lot of it goes deeper than the external, though, which is what I admire about this sub personally
[–]rough-man 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Instead of being a condescending douche, why don't you tell us your million dollar advice on how insecure introverted men can bring themselves out of this state.
[+]HerrLogic -10 points-9 points-8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Any time you fail at sarging, you’re just not attractive enough. You think Henry Cavill needs to sarge?
[–]TaypHill 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
my first quite a few times were like that
[–]affinitypaw 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I used to be part of a PUA lair.
On one guy's first nights, no matter how much we had hyped him up beforehand, he sat at the bar and cried.
A few years later, he was one of the more revered members of the lair
[–]bruce_maximo 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Why would he cry lol???
[–]affinitypaw 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Stressed, impossibly shy, and overwhelmed if I had to guess.
[–]bruce_maximo 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmaoo damn. Ppl are suffering here. And females won’t hesitate to make him feel worse. He got lucky to break outta that.
[–]feelings_arent_facts[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
A lair? Jesus how creepy can you be about it
Perception
[–]feelings_arent_facts[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Eesh man
[–]Sultmaker_9000 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You can build yourself up a little, becoming a better person, by taking less pressured environments, that isn't just the goal of fucking. Simply chat with the cashier male or female, bring up a relevant topic to the situation, etc type scenarios and make it part of who you are.
[–]sauceyzaddy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Best piece of advice is to don’t give that feeling of fear , worry , or judgement any value. Instead of gaming a girl, enjoy yourself and your drink. “ Go with the flow” if you can game a girl there cool, if not great go home and finish any work or hangout with any other plates. Next time don’t jerk off your misery.
[–]Bitlack 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bro trust me, any expierence is good expierence .
What helped for me(I went to a club with some friends last week) is interact with a girl, do your best, and after (as nerdy as it sounds) list all the things you noticed you did wrong. And try to fix it for the next approach, rinse and repeat. It’s easier said then done but that’s what worked for me.
On a side note I just finished reading the Game, any other pickup books you recommend that you’ve read?
[–]SirFrancisDrake2020 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't worry next time will be better. The first step is always the hardest.
[–]stanthemilkman88 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just give yourself the opportunity to fail. Get shot down. What is the worst thing that can happen?
[–]goodkompany1964 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Next time try having a drink before leave home. Dont just go to your favourite bar, try new places with more traffick (a night club). If you always feel like people are watching or listening to you when you approach girls, the human traffic helps you alot. Plus, those lessons on seduction and all are only as good as your confidence.
[–]mealpatrickharris 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
this gave me a good laugh because i’ve been there. stick around a little longer next time, chat with the bartenders.. get to know them, get comfortable in the space, shoot some pool, pick a few songs if they have a jukebox/app etc. then if you see someone you’re interested in, you’re comfortable/confident enough in that space to chat. and take your time, this takes practice.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]HashesAshes 46 points47 points48 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]no_not_this 90 points91 points92 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]HashesAshes 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]no_not_this 10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TommyWilson43 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rough-man 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Mishawnuodo 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]skyrunner22 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]5_7pickup 9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Bitlack 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IGetBoredSometimes23 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]JacobMoogberg69 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]recursivePasta 6 points7 points8 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]affinitypaw 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]recursivePasta 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]constructioncity 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Meteora_Sage 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]devilkingx2 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheBurgessChurchill 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AelfredRex -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]affinitypaw 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rough-man 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]HerrLogic -10 points-9 points-8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TaypHill 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]affinitypaw 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]bruce_maximo 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]affinitypaw 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]bruce_maximo 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]feelings_arent_facts[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]affinitypaw 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]feelings_arent_facts[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sultmaker_9000 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sauceyzaddy 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Bitlack 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SirFrancisDrake2020 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]stanthemilkman88 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]goodkompany1964 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mealpatrickharris 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link