Girl went from super interested to not at all, what happened?

Elbynerual · 2021-09-25T04:48:20+00:00

This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:

A field report explains a lesson learned or demonstrates a Seduction concept.
If the point of this post is asking how to get that specific girl, it belongs in AskSeddit.

No worries though! Though the thread has been taken down, any conversations you have started here can still continue, and if you want to PM a mod to get their opinion on this thread, feel free to do so and they will still be able to weigh in.

For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person are fine as field should be directed to Ask Seddit (/r/askseddit), not to be confused with Ask Reddit.

Calamity__Bane · 2021-09-25T01:39:02+00:00

She felt like you escalated too quickly when she wasn't feeling it. The lesson is to differentiate between friendly and romantic interest, and in particular, to build awareness of reciprocation into your escalation patterns.

Shaneisallyouneed · 2021-09-24T23:44:56+00:00

You gave it a shot and it didn’t work out. Things happen, you’ll come across a lot more people in life. So there’s still a chance for you.

Spinuchi · 2021-09-25T01:42:51+00:00

The park move might have made her a bit uncomfortable, shouldve pulled back and let her come back to you. Where the mistake came was metioning your interest in her so soon.. Shouldve just played it cool and taken it slow and let her express interest in you first, especially after the first time hanging out. Then maybe shouldve let her text you first, definitely not a double text.

She most likely got the vibe from you that you were too invested too quickly.

Just dont reach put anymore and maybe she will comtact you, maybe not. Either way its ok this is a learning experience and your will grown from this and have more opportunities

MisterShogunate · 2021-09-25T02:48:31+00:00

Never act like you got it in the bag. Always act like it’s never a sure thing. It keeps the intrigue and reduces anxiety/pressure on the girl.

Most likely even she doesn’t understand why she is feeling this way due to cognitive dissonance. I’ve dealt with this many times and it’s a combination of the fun disappearing due to the mystery being gone and the added pressure of her having to do things, hence why she doesn’t know why but women usually refer to it as “going too fast.” It repels women.

Don’t talk to her for a few days or even weeks then re-engage and see what she’s like.

donnybdonnyb · 2021-09-25T02:41:41+00:00

The fact that you asked her if you just see me as a friend or not shows to her that you don’t know what you’re doing. I’d avoid ever asking that. Her actions will tell you all you need

JambiChick · 2021-09-25T01:56:14+00:00

Idk, it seems like you got in your head too much over her appearance, and it caused you to act in a weird way. You said you were shaken up by how hot she was on the 2nd meeting, but that you got over it quickly...idk, I feel like you THINK you got over it but you actually didn't.

I'm thinking it went something like this...you met the first time, liked each other, she barely heard from you for 2 months bc you were busy with whatever and weren't excited enough to keep constant contact. Then you met up again, were surprised by her hotness, and bc of her hotness you became more determined, maybe a bit aggressive in comparison to before and probably came on too strong.

For me reading this, your comment about "she was way hotter than I remembered" followed by you also saying to her, "Hey I'm really attracted to you...do you see us as friends or...?' just kinda feels like her looks, not her personality, made you suddenly become much more into her. I'm sure she picked up on it and didn't like it.

kinstinctlol · 2021-09-25T03:53:51+00:00

Move on. Go next.

KingOfNeptune · 2021-09-25T03:52:33+00:00

Most advice here is wrong. She wasn't ready for the escalation? LOL. If a super hot girl tried to put her arm around you too soon, would you be weirded out? Of course not. Same in reverse. People will tolerate anything from hot people.

She was not sufficiently attracted to you. Probably because you came across as weak. If there's an ounce of fear in your heart, a girl will smell it and you are dead to her. She must be nothing to you, yet another in a long line of doldrum conquests. Until you get to that point, you aren't ready. If you're nervous to play Madison Square Garden, you will never play Madison Square Garden. That which is quotidian is that which you have conquered.

There is only one solution. Go out and do it again. And again. And again. And again. Until your heart is hardened, until you've experienced so many women, you're incapable of seeing any of them as special and you are incapable of feeling love. Then you will be able to get any girl you want. To get the girl of your dreams, you must first unweave the dreams. Only when you no longer want her, when you find her despicable, can you have her.

KingoftheNorth412 · 2021-09-25T01:42:03+00:00

Over the two months when you were apart, did you guys talk or text?

EpiiCideas · 2021-09-25T00:30:59+00:00

Maybe she got a bad vibe when you groped her in the park. Was it late at night? We’re you guys in conversation or naked silence when you put your arm around her? Seems to me something spooked her and she bounced.

Sharp_Slide6806 · 2021-09-25T04:00:49+00:00

She’s not into you. Otherwise her arm would of been down your own pants when you tried to grope her. Also, don’t fly to potential lovers.

Forgot about it and move on.

Papa_Musk · 2021-09-25T04:17:31+00:00

sex = comfort + attraction

you made her attracted but you didn't make her comfortable enough

l34df4rm3r · 2021-09-25T04:19:05+00:00

Maybe she's going through something now and she won't share that with you. Maybe she cannot articulate her own situation herself right now. And you are just added complexity. I'd say stay in touch, stay low, if you valued the friendship. Otherwise, feel free to jump ship.

DaJosuave · 2021-09-25T05:59:08+00:00

She likely found someone else or she found something out about you she doesnt like

Title	Girl went from super interested to not at all, what happened?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	45
Comments	30
Date	September 24, 2021 11:42 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/puv8k1/girl_went_from_super_interested_to_not_at_all/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girl-went-from-super-interested-to-not-at-all-what.1275584 https://theredarchive.com/post/1275584

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