Do or Don’t ask for a second date during the first date?

Confidenceisbetter · 2022-07-13T14:04:31+00:00

I wouldn’t like it. Because i would say yes even if i wanted to say no. Saying no would make it incredibly awkward. Just send a text after the date and if you get rejected it’s much easier for everyone involved if it happens over text

life_long_learnerabc · 2022-07-13T15:01:46+00:00

Nopes, nopes, nopes.

Had two dates saying yes to "second date" just trying to be nice but flaked later on. But had chance to bang on first one, relied on second date, take it slow strategy, but didn't work.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-07-13T17:19:41+00:00

You don’t. It doesn’t plan the idea or anything lol. Girls don’t even “work” like that.

Girls agree to go on dates based on how they feel about you. And those feelings can change the next day after the date.

So even if you ask a girl for a second date during the first date and they say yes, the next day or a few days after she can completely change her mind and pretend she never agreed to it in the first place.

That’s because her mood about you has changed. She has had time to think mor rationally and process whatever happened during the first date and come to a conclusion.

If you ask during the first date , you come across as needy and too eager living no mastery, no anticipation, you already had a date which hasn’t finished and you already rushing to hang out again as if you have no life or other priorities. Like, just chill dude.

Let her wondering where she stands with you, don’t be an open book, don’t be like:

“oh hey laura, i had the greatest time ever in history of my life with you on that first date, please i beg you, let’s go out again. I really want to!”

it’s needy. Just needy. Yes i exaggerated the thing to make a point, but it’s the same even if you just say “hey, had a great time, hope we can go out soon”.

Better to not say any of that, better to let her wonder if you had a great time or not, that doesn’t mean ignore her or ghost her, it just means that you are vague about your feelings of the date. Not super excited and positive but also not negative. Just mysterious, you just don’t give her the approval she seeks.

Then when you want to go out again, you text her to get her in the mood, because it’s your job ti get her in the mood right before you invite her, not assume that she is already in the mood and can just go there and ask for a second date when her mood likely changed.

Nullroute127 · 2022-07-14T06:05:44+00:00

No. Actually planning a second date is bad business. It tells the girl that you're invested in her too quickly and are rushing. Women take time to warm up to men. It just seems like you're sold to quickly, and women want to put in work to gain your time and attention (she chases you).

You can hint at future activities without making plans. It's a way to invite her to your world and imagine time with you. For example, "If at some point in the future we were to go for a 10 mile hike, could you keep up?" This takes the frame of you're evaluating her to fit you. It's a lofty/abstract idea that it's not going to be interpreted as a formal date idea. However, it does seed the idea of a future time with you.

I'm a motorcyclist and one of my favorite dates is to take girls on their first motorcycle ride, "If at some point we were to go on a motorcycle adventure, would that be exciting or terrifying?" This line isn't actually planning a date. However, their response to this gives me a lot of information about their level of interest in me and if I've built enough comfort WHILE offering value.

MistyMaisel · 2022-07-13T16:44:47+00:00

As a girl, I think the second date comes naturally if things are going well. Maybe you talk about movies and one of you mentions a film the other hasn't seen, pretty natural to vaguely suggest you guys should watch it together in the future. Same for eating at various food spots, various hiking spots, etc.

Do you ask right then? Probably not, but maybe. But pretty easy to text the next day and callback the thing you vaguely mentioned doing together and ask her properly to do it. You've already planted the seed and it's pretty natural to follow up.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-07-13T14:03:26+00:00

I would typically say no, stay present and focus on having fun on the first date. A second date will come together naturally if the vibe and chemistry is there on the first. Sex should occur by third date at latest.

alwaystostadas · 2022-07-13T16:12:01+00:00

Best to not suggest it unless you already got physical on the first date. More likely than not they’ll say yes to a 2nd date even if they don’t want one to avoid the awkwardness of rejecting you in person. Most girls usually don’t have it in them to even reject you over text hence ghosting.

incognito3107 · 2022-07-13T17:29:14+00:00

I guess a big thing about not setting a next date immediately, is that a girl will be wondering if she made a good impression on you and will be genuinely interested how you relation will go next from that. You can easily set up a next date, be assured that she had a great time and smoothly get ghosted.

distawest · 2022-07-14T13:51:56+00:00

I wouldn't do that. Seems pressing, isn't it? And if she says yes, what do you do next? Ask for place and time at this very moment? Absurd!

Show her clearly that you like her, but let her boil a little ... Ask a few days later

cassidy-sinatra · 2022-07-13T14:16:38+00:00

If the first date is not ending in sex then you pitch a idea of something you can do together next time. No need to get too specific just gauge her interest

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-07-13T14:29:14+00:00

I think it's a great idea.

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-07-13T19:11:18+00:00

Completely depends on how well the first day is going. If she’s having fun and you’re having fun I don’t see why you can’t ask her if she wants to get together again

Title	Do or Don’t ask for a second date during the first date?
Author	sanj102
Upvotes	5
Comments	23
Date	July 13, 2022 1:57 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vy3v8v/do_or_dont_ask_for_a_second_date_during_the_first/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-or-dont-ask-for-a-second-date-during-the-first.1254586 https://theredarchive.com/post/1254586

Comments