Does ethnicity and race matter?

DanDabsDan · 2025-01-24T00:10:05+00:00

If you have an accent not gonna lie it’s going to be tough but appearing more American does help in my personal opinion. I’m Korean and have my fare share of racial biases. Also being friends with white guys helps too. They expose you to different girls that don’t wanna date a white guy

Western-Month-3877 · 2025-01-24T00:23:27+00:00

You can’t get rid of your ethnicity but you can get rid of your accent.

Key-Hurry-6501 · 2025-01-24T02:24:57+00:00

Mums gonna set you up with a baddie anyways right….so why worry bro

MrDownhillRacer · 2025-01-24T01:28:17+00:00

I think it can both be true that something matters, but also be true that there's no use devoting too much time and energy thinking about it.

Yeah, studies show that people have racial dating preferences. Yeah, studies show that not all races are equally preferred, and that some groups have a harder time than others. Particularly, east Asian men, south Asian men, and black women.

But you can't change your race, so what's the point of thinking too much about it? It's not like the people from the disadvantaged groups can never score. It's just that they are playing on a harder difficulty and have to make up for it with other strengths. So, focus on those strengths you can actually improve. Because I'm pretty sure that a chiseled, funny, charismatic, high-status Indian guy is still going to be considered hot. A person can be hot enough to cause others to go against their usual preferences or prejudices. I've had friends say things like "I don't usually go for bigger girls, but this girl just has the most radiant personality and brightest smile," etc. etc. If society disadvantages you in some areas, just become exceptional in others.

Things you place more attention on have a tendency to impact you more. So, don't let the things you can't change become those things.

therealwoujo · 2025-01-24T01:32:24+00:00

Everything matters to some degree but there is no point in thinking about because 1) you cannot change it and 2) confidence and having fun Trumps 99% of the other factors.

DIme_x · 2025-01-24T21:38:51+00:00

Yes, it matters. A lot. More so to some women than others but I would say 80% of women favor certain races, especially their own.

ToxicRocketry · 2025-01-24T05:50:09+00:00

Honest question - are you asking out all kinds of girls, including other Indian and Asian girls or are you just zoning in on white girls?

Because I'll be honest, vast majority of Indian dudes who struggle with dating in the west seem to have problems mainly because they are obsessed with getting a pretty European girlfriend. Combine that with the almost universal reputation that Indian men have with being socially awkward and very creepy with a lack of awareness of personal space and a lot of Western women have an almost allergic reaction to Indian men unless you absolutely go out of your way to be less "Indian", for lack of a better word.

Sincerely not trying to be an asshole but in your case it probably is a major factor. The only Indian guy I know who is fairly successful with all kinds of girls spent a very long fucking time pretending to be Arabic/Iranian because of this.

BostonHusky24 · 2025-01-24T03:40:46+00:00

I have noticed that many Indians are not loud and thus sound unconfident. Loud Indians with or without accent sound attractive. So bring a little assertion in your voice especially if you are in Northeast US area. Can’t say about other regions. Also if you haven’t noticed most people date within their race whether white or asian so nothing bad in sticking with your race.

Also if your pictures are good and you look handsome in them you will have success irrespective of race. Race card only pulls down the weaklings. If you have strength in a particular area like height, face or muscles, speech etc. you will be good.

Jameson2105 · 2025-01-24T04:31:18+00:00

Ignore any insecurities you have. Get out there and try you never know what a girl is into.

durkiobro · 2025-01-24T04:36:24+00:00

I’m brown as well and I’ve dated white girls. Some wouldn’t wanna be with an Indian guy but some would.

PeterLamb87 · 2025-01-24T06:45:29+00:00

Its a hurdle? for sure. Its and unsurmountable one? no

RegularMidLifeCrisis · 2025-01-24T10:14:24+00:00

Of course it matters

JazzleRazzle · 2025-01-24T11:25:56+00:00

Are you jacked or at least shredded? If not, then you’re making excuses.

DaygameCode · 2025-01-24T13:47:21+00:00

It matters, but if you don’t like yourself for being Indian, that matters even more as women will pick up on that.

The worst thing a man can do when trying to seduce women is to show that he is not comfortable in his own skin, that he is ashamed of who he is, that he wishes he was different.

It’s not game over just because you are Indian, but if they sense that being Indian is something you don’t feel comfortable with, that is indeed game over.

Women don’t exist to make you feel comfortable about yourself, if anything their whole male selection system is about testing whether you actually are comfortable doing what you are doing, saying what you are saying, believing what you believe, and being comfortable with who you are.

The moment they feel that you are not consistent, that you second guess yourself, that you don’t value or respect yourself, that you need them to validate you to feel secure in who you are, that you don’t have a take it or leave it attitude, that you try to adapt to her preferences, that you try to be someone you think they’ll like, that you act defensive or apologetic…

That’s the main problem that will get you consistently rejected.

FindingForgiven · 2025-01-24T17:38:32+00:00

Depends what race of girls you're going for? Other Indian girls? May be easy. White girls? It'll be very difficult. Seems like you're going after the latter. Best of luck.

Life-Map-6434 · 2025-01-24T19:37:14+00:00

I want the British accent. They sound so cool (at least to me)

Tragedyofthe · 2025-01-24T22:05:48+00:00

I think California is a bit open minded as long as you appear American. No offense, but I think where many Indians have it wrong is honestly their sense of style and self-care. You’re 19, invest in some street wear and nicer fits—young Californian women love a guy some drip. Additionally, hit the gym and choose a hair/beard style that shapes you.

Alternative_Media170 · 2025-01-25T05:55:20+00:00

This has nothing to do with race and everything to do with confidence and sense of humor. Be confident, be mysterious, be deliberate with words. And always remember, a girl who laughs cannot keep her dress on.

HelpaBanshee · 2025-01-25T11:57:39+00:00

You're Indian. if you are trying to go for other indians you'll be ok. if you try and go for white girls, which I know is what you want, then good luck. you need to wait till after you have a career and better sense of self before you have more power in that department. you'll be more powerful at 28 than you are now. also some advice to you is, give black and brown people a chance don't be so closed off to just mingling with other indians

david-lee-roth- · 2025-01-26T05:18:49+00:00

I remember I was at a bar in Manhattan. There was 2 hot chicks to my right. I was waiting to go in and give it a shot. Some super nerdy Indian dude beat me to it and worked it. Said all the right things. They loved him. It’s all about the game you got bruh

Then_North_6347 · 2025-01-24T02:52:54+00:00

Wouldn't approaching Indian girls be a pretty easy solve for that? In my experience as a White guy most White girls wouldn't date an Indian guy, no. But there are plenty of Indian girls, no reason for you to go alone.

razama · 2025-01-24T00:30:01+00:00

Accents hold you behind because people with accents sound unconfident. However, if you have an accent, but that doesn’t change your confidence and you still present with good body language, humor, and self amusement, your accent can be a benefit to you.

I two major computer science and have plenty of Indian friends who were successful with women. Sam had no success at all. The difference was who was taking care of themselves and who presented confidently.

Auckland2399 · 2025-01-24T04:12:47+00:00

Honestly dude I'm in a similar boat, engineering major, 5'8", not particularly attractive by any means. The only major difference is that I was raised here in the US. I don't go out of my way to talk to girls (not exactly the biggest fan of cold approach) but I do see some girls checking me out sometimes and I've been with white girls, black girls, indian girls, and I've had asian girls be attracted to me too. As other ppl mentioned, the accent could be holding you back, or you could be having some sort of self limiting belief that affects the way you carry yourself. I noticed that the best times for me when it came to women was when a) I wasn't acting needy and b) I was having fun and being myself. Just let loose a little and have some fun. You're in college rn, and you're surrounded by women all the time so just go to places there will be a lot of women that you can talk to like club events, parties, etc. If you make eye contact with a girl for longer than usual, or if she keeps looking at you or in your direction, walk up to her and say hi. The worst that could happen is an awkward conversation then you forget it and move on to the next.

nnavyyy · 2025-01-24T17:02:39+00:00

its not about ethnicity, no. ive spoken to guys that are indian and i dont think thats the issue bc if they put themself out there and look well put together id go for them. one thing that throws me off a bit is the accent bc i dont really understand it but i think that can be fixed!

Title	Does ethnicity and race matter?
Author	Away-Patience8556
Upvotes	2
Comments	33
Date	January 24, 2025 12:00 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1i8i0cs/does_ethnicity_and_race_matter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/does-ethnicity-and-race-matter.1541983 https://theredarchive.com/post/1541983

Comments