ELI5: How to keep a conversation flowing with anybody you meet.

Scoonz · 2015-06-04T06:24:09+00:00

I think it's bad philosophy to buy into the thought that ANY conversation can flow, some people just don't wanna talk that much.

I always tend to ask about something then branch off from that.

"What do you do?"

"I work as a bartender at so and so"

"I love their pizza! Why's the sauce so good?"

"Oh we ejaculate into it, that's why!"

"Man, that's incredible."

"Yeah we get that question a lot, but don't tell anyone"

That's easily 20-30 seconds. Obviously if she's giving bad vibes, you'll get it. A girl not flowing well isn't always indicative of them not liking you. My girlfriend is incredibly shy and before we starting dating I had to literally have the entire conversation, but now it's great. Just remember, shy people and introverts have a lot to say too!

enzo32ferrari · 2015-06-04T08:30:02+00:00

Look up "conversation threading". It uses cues from words said in the previous sentence to keep the conversation going. Now, it shouldn't turn into an interrogation; a conversation is not Q/A all night but threading it will get to a topic you can converse with a girl. Here's a quick scenario (now I use direct game so you may have to adjust)

ME: "Excuse me, please don't take this the wrong way but I think you're really cute."

HER: "Oh my gosh, thank you so much!"

(9.5/10 times they're flattered, so follow up with a question here)

ME: "What's your name?"

HER: "Taylor."

(Ok cool, put a name to a pretty face. We're still early in the conversation so another question to get background is okay without it getting all interrogation like)

ME: "Where are you from Taylor?"

HER: "I was born in Pennsylvania"

(Now here is where the "threading" starts: The keyword is "Pennsylvania". You can follow up with a question pertaining to Pennsylvania, or if you have any ties to Pennsylvania personally, you can follow up with that.)

ME: I've never been to Pennsylvania. You guys have any cool sights to check out next time I'm over there?"

HER: Well I don't really know, I moved to Nashville when I was 14.

(*Here we go with the threading again, but this time we have two keywords; can you guess what they are? It's^Nashville and^14. If you have any personal connection to Nashville, or any major personal event (a positive/neutral event; ~~down~~ don't be too much of a downer) that occurred at 14 you can spit them back and keep the conversation going.

Now, the above scene is worse case scenario. If a girl is into you she'll usually follow up with more than one word/few word sentences so you get more 'keywords'.

EDIT: accidentally a few words

waste2muchtime · 2015-06-04T13:53:05+00:00

Do things in life. Adventures. Hobbies. Sports. Whatever.

If you maximize the things you do, you can flow about any conversation topic with anyone, since anything they mention, you at least have a minimal interest in.

I've never been interested in Football that much, but I used to play it as a kid a lot with friends, and I do watch the World Cup. But I have terrible cardio. I can still manage to bring up semi relevant things when I sit down with someone who likes football.

I often go out with the family so I always know something relevant/funny stories/ etc. Just experience life, and people will naturally gravitate toward you. When you've got that going on, they already have a natural interest in you, all you need to do is be able to pick up on the things they say (e.g their keyphrases) and ask them questions about it OR relate it to things you do in your life.

omark12 · 2015-06-04T10:28:44+00:00

Be a good listener first and you'll know what to say next
1. That doesn't mean to sit there thinking of what to say while they talk. No just listen, be genuinely intersted.
Speak unfiltered. Talk about whatever pops into your head. Show your weird quirks.

MaliceRhino · 2015-06-04T17:54:57+00:00

Here are the 3 things that I think are most important when it comes to this:

Take genuine interest in what the person is saying. If the other person is willing to talk about themselves, and you're interested in them, just keep asking questions and the conversation will keep going.
Other people aren't as naturally garrulous. For these people, you'll have to contribute more content yourself. Just remove the filter and say anything about anything. If you're frequently stimulating your mind with books, music, events, etc. you should have plenty to talk about.
Learn to free-associate. Much of humor comes from unexpected associations between things. This will also give you a wider breadth of topics to draw from, as each concept can provide several different avenues to take the conversation down.

polyfeux · 2015-06-04T10:59:28+00:00

Have a look at this one: http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/36sklk/this_really_changed_how_i_view_pickup_rsd_julien/

Gliste · 2015-06-04T13:11:45+00:00

The sad thing about my memory is that if someone says a keyword, that will bring back a memory. Any memory really. I cannot spout shit like "Oh yeah, back when I was in kindergarten...blah blah" Nope. If she tells me the first time she killed a bug, I can tell her about how this one kid in kindergarten was named popular because he cared for bugs.

Or something. It's a bad example but I hope you understood it :/

BurningPixel · 2015-06-04T14:16:23+00:00

People love to hear themselves talk.

Listen, be interested in what they have to say and ask.

contrejo27 · 2015-06-04T17:12:50+00:00

Be genuinely interested in them. That's all you have to do. I have problems with keeping a conversation flowing when I'm thinking "man this is getting boring, was this silence too long I should say something" but when I change my mindset to "Wow this girl moved to Nashville when she was 14? I want to know how that affected who she is" so then I start asking questions that get to more original conversation since it's a bit more meaningful.

mattykid · 2015-06-04T15:56:27+00:00

If you get stuck just repeat the last few words they said with inflection so it sounds like a question almost. It bounces the conversation back to them, takes the pressure off you to say something, and makes it look like you're listening and interested in what they have to say

drumtime · 2015-06-05T05:35:48+00:00

Pretend like you've known them a long time

RickyRockyDude · 2015-06-12T06:22:10+00:00

What usually helps me is reacting out loud. There's always thoughts in your head, and most girls love honesty, so you'll always have sonething to say.

Also don't forget that leaving some silences for the girl to take initiative and talk is a good thing.

coatrack68 · 2015-06-04T20:35:07+00:00

read

How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_23?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=how+to+win+friends+and+influence+people&sprefix=how+to+win+friends+and+%2Caps%2C364

Lots of good tips that don't rely on BS, but on being genuine and honest.

Title	ELI5: How to keep a conversation flowing with anybody you meet.
Author	dankmemesDAE
Upvotes	182
Comments	40
Date	June 4, 2015 5:40 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/38hdhs/eli5_how_to_keep_a_conversation_flowing_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/eli5-how-to-keep-a-conversation-flowing-with.1389164 https://theredarchive.com/post/1389164

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