Was married for 30 years and have been trying to recover since she left in Oct 2024. Finally have been feeling ready in recent months but live where I hardly ever see any eligible women and work from home...

There is one hottie I've seen occasionally for the past six months on the walking trail. I have been hesitant with her because I am old (55) and she is at most early to mid 40's... The bigger obstacle is that we only ever pass each other quickly and say a quick hello and she doesn't make good eye contact (which I take as a bad sign).

Nevertheless I was throwing my dog her ball last week and hottie sat down on a bench for the first time ever to fix her shoe (which I took as a good sign), so I took my shot (sort of)..

Mind you I have always been terrible at this... This time was no exception. All of my energy was focused on actually approaching and I never gave one thought to what I would say... It was such a disaster... The intro was fine but then I said a number of awkard things I would normally never say and after a few minutes she was bolting out of there... As she was about to leave I said, "I've always wanted to meet you" and she gave me a look that told me I was either confusing her or scaring her, or both. So embarrassing!

So now I take my daily morning walks hoping to see her again but she hasn't been back out and probably never will risk it again haha. Pretty much every embarrassing thing I said is etched in my memory and torments me every morning on my walks, especially while I walk past the spot where we chatted...

Really wish I'd just asked for her number or asked her out to coffee so at least I'd have known for sure that I'd bombed as badly as I know I did... Lessons learned at least... Too bad I bombed though because we live really close to each other... I really need a win soon to wash this torment out...