Go out alone

t_11 · 2015-07-13T20:35:16+00:00

That's a long post. More users need to read it. Anyways previous posts discourage nightgame alone, so reading this n is definitely supportive. Now if I only had the guts to go out. From personal experience I feel as if I go out alone presents a lower social status, as far as connections go. Truth is I don't have many friends indeed but I got.my confidence.

Cam3739 · 2015-07-13T23:50:54+00:00

Good post, and I completely agree. Within the last year I moved to Atlanta from Philly, and I knew absolutely no one. I have plenty of friends back home that I would go out with and it was always fun going with a group, so when I first moved down here I was like you and didn't want to go out alone. It's not bad at all. It's actually much easier meeting new people when you're by yourself because it forces you to branch out when you don't have your comfortable and familiar group of friends to socialize with. It's also been interesting seeing people's reactions when they find out I'm new to the area, don't know anybody and still have no problem going out and chatting people up. I guess it portrays confidence, which is always a good thing. It only gets easier and you have nothing to lose. My 2 cents, just wanted to reinforce what you said.

KJh25 · 2015-07-13T22:58:36+00:00

Hey don't knock the witcher, it's a great game! Nah, but seriously, good post. Although what should a person do if they weren't of drinking age yet (me) and couldn't go to a bar to meet people?

adetorical · 2015-07-14T05:20:57+00:00

I've learned that even though it's scary and even though everything in your body aches right before you go out alone, you push through it and you do it. Slowly over time you keep going out and even though at the start you notice no difference you realize one day down the line what you've been doing and you say "holy shit a month ago I would have shat trucks being out here".

For me it happened three weeks into going out daily, when I got my first number. Even though I had been doing it and putting in time working on myself, I finally noticed progress. Nothing flourished from that number except my realization that it's possible. And to whoever might be reading this at home, feeling afraid and anxious, it's perfectly normal, in fact it's a good thing, make it a trigger to push yourself out and socialize because that's when you know you'll push your comfort. It's not gonna happen on day one, it might not even happen on week one but all I know is that slow progress is better than no progress.

Now all these posts on seddit are a reality when before they were dreams or a 'someday'. I haven't gotten laid yet , I'm not some master PUA, but what I have gotten is increased confidence, epiphanies along the way and a feeling that everything will work out. And that's something I haven't felt in years.

WhosCountin · 2015-07-14T13:25:14+00:00

This is a great post. Last time I was forced to go out alone (on a business trip, there for a networking event that ended at a bar), I saw an Asian chick I wanted, and since I was already out alone (with a clear reason/explanation I could give... Which is a crutch) and warmed up from forcing myself to socialize for the hours before that, I just walked up to her, made intense eye contact, said "Hi, I'm WhosCountin" and held eye contact and smiled. She kind of waited for me to falter, but after a second and a half or so, the confidence visibly melted her. Ended up with an F-close that night after she had repeatedly thrown out the "I don't just sleep with anyone" and other shit-tests/anti-slut defenses. The fact that she kept saying that over the course of the night would have discouraged me a year ago, but after a year of reading about this shit, I was more than aware that her bringing that up out of nowhere was a very good sign.

I was in a different city and felt like a different person, and I was forced into the situation - but the point is that when I was forced into that, I suddenly was living like the person I wanted to be. Going out alone also allows you to be whoever you want. When you're around people who know you, it's easy to fall into the trap of playing to their expectations of you. Even if you're not aware of it, being alone frees you up so much more.

TL;DR: Great post, OP. Read Models. Force yourself to go out alone. You're capable of way more than you realize. Also, kino like a motherfucker

Sticyguy · 2015-07-13T23:51:09+00:00

What does TRP methodology stand for?

talkintoyou · 2015-07-14T00:25:25+00:00

That's awesome man! I needed to read this.

AlexIsOnFire11 · 2015-07-14T01:25:39+00:00

"your excuses only make sense to the person who is saying them"

This right here will be my mantra for the weekend. Thank you for these words. Slowly I've been working my way to going out alone. Your story is so similar to mine, park by the college bar strip and walk around looking for an interesting crowd. But you've showed me that any bar can be interesting. You just gotta dive in there.

nolander_78 · 2015-07-14T01:39:23+00:00

I've been in your shoes for a couple of years, friends all married and you feel kind of outcast, it takes a lot of convincing yourself to get out, and when you do you start talking yourself out of it, I found the best way to give yourself some confidence is to plan your trip, decide which places you're headed to, what you intend to order, help even plan your conversations, anything that can prevent you from questioning your decisions.

Wolfengristl · 2015-07-14T02:13:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

frozenGrizzly · 2015-07-14T05:24:20+00:00

I don't have much to add, that was a good read. Exactly what I aim to accomplish, but the bars around here suck. I live in the sticks so there's only maybe two, and there's not a lot of college age girls. Not to mention that I still do live with my parents...

But a really good book to read for what you're aiming to accomplish would be Rapid Escalation by Liam McRae. His philosophy on game is even more open-minded and more practical than Mark Manson's. When you buy the book it includes access to a bunch of bonus videos, including one of the better interaction/kino demonstrations I've seen thus far. Definitely recommend it. It doesn't really click with TRP methodology, it's kind of its own thing, which I think is much better than TRP.

Kalarel · 2015-07-14T10:14:29+00:00

Huh. Interesting. When I first started going out, I actually did it alone, because I don't have much friends. Never realized that being nervous about that is a normal thing. I kinda assumed it was just me and my social ineptitude.

CSseduction · 2015-07-14T16:48:20+00:00

<<I'm not scared to approach, but I don't know what to say after I introduce myself (direct approach) and shake their hand and go kino really quickly. But I MUST fix this! I WILL FIX THIS.>>

The hardest part is: 1) getting the guts to go out alone, and 2) actually approaching a girl. You've already got this.

Here's an easy opener after "Hi, I'm ____." (Not saying this is the BEST opener, but it can work and it's super easy). Ask her this question: "So, what's your story?"

What's great about this question is that it's so open-ended. Most girls will be a little thrown off by it, but that's good. They'll probably laugh and ask, "What do you mean?" But keep it cool. Just repeat, "You know, what's your story? Who is [insert girl's name]?" This gives her the opportunity to say basically whatever she wants. She may start with what she did that day and how she ended up at this bar. She may start with the day she was born. Doesn't matter... she's talking and beginning to open up to you. BUT HERE'S THE KEY: Don't just sit back and let her talk for 10 minutes straight. Interrupt her early and often. "Wait... what do you mean your family is 'crazy'?" "Whoa... slow down. You were born in Israel? Do you remember it?" This gives you the opportunity to steer the conversation.

Give it a try. It's nearly fool-proof.

Alb3rt01 · 2015-07-14T20:15:35+00:00

You are a beast, Keep us up to date with how your escalation and kino improves.

Helping_men_succeed · 2015-07-14T05:55:28+00:00

Sorry for being blunt, but true religion isn't the best. I'd look into some better jeans.
TRP is incredibly toxic and will develop in you a mindset of self-righteous indignation and general anger, as opposed to anything positive and helpful. It's high comedy, but be very careful taking what they say seriously. It's hard to determine the nonsense from the truth.

shitsngiggles22 · 2015-07-14T03:32:33+00:00

Good post OP. My two cents:

Everyone should absolutely go out alone. My F-close rate is definitely better than when I go out in a group. For me seduction is about taking control of my life and getting what I want: I see that girl, I want that girl, I go and get that girl. Without letting little bullshit get in the way. If you want to get laid, fucking go where people go to get laid. No, you don't need buddies, you are a complete person yourself, you are capable of entertaining yourself, and you don't need anyone else to have a good time. Other than the girls you're gonna take home of course. Take responsibility: the only thing preventing you from getting laid is you, so stop being an obstacle to yourself and take action.

Next, I recommend everyone stay the hell away from the TRP. They represent old-school sexism dressed up as self-empowerment. The objective should be to be a 21st century man: strong, confident, know what you want and get it, but know that while it is 100% true that to get laid you need to know how to work a woman's emotions, EVERYONE uses both their emotions and reason. For example, think about all the times you considered going out alone but didn't because you were scared. Or that super ballsy approach you did because you were still basking in the confidence afterglow of getting laid. Treat people as people and know how to get in peoples' pants, no reason to get all sexist.

But that is really a side issue and not that important. Congratulations OP on moving that much closer to your objective and setting a good example.

jackpaxx · 2015-07-14T04:14:34+00:00

I love going out alone, I've only done it a few times for a couple of shows but it was arguably one of the best times I've had. If I'm out somewhere with my friends at a club or concert I like to do my own thing but it's different when you're completely by yourself. It pushes you to just do whatever without worrying about where people are and gives you the motivation to just talk to a whole bunch of random people.

Zillaberry · 2015-07-14T04:37:17+00:00

This was much more well received in RP. That's a dichotomy study I need to look into.

rgravano · 2015-07-14T05:52:34+00:00

Going out alone has given me great opportunities and sometimes even great nights I won't forget. Keep doing it and it will become second nature. Won't be nervous anymore and shaking.

MC57 · 2015-07-14T05:58:05+00:00

How did you get past your sticking point on the night? You must've said something after introducing yourself

reddiot666 · 2015-07-14T07:34:11+00:00

I don't particularly like going out alone because typically chicks will go out in pairs of 2 or 3, and they typically stay together the entire night so you are bound to be cockblocked by one who is miserable and not getting any attention from men. Quite a few girls tend to have neverending egos at nightclubs. It's nice to talk to someone extroverted and friendly rather than the one who gives 1-2 word responses, even if you aren't trying to get any phone numbers.

rangamatchstick · 2015-07-14T14:38:28+00:00

6 Months clubbing and day gaming two to three times a week sober, by myself was the biggest improvement I ever did as it goes after your sub conscious, how you think, react and ect, stuff you can only improve through experience. It does get hard approaching groups but you get used to it, and allows you to always have a backup if your friends down show.

HappyMexican · 2015-07-15T18:21:48+00:00

Yeah bottom line, if you have a choice between staying home or going out alone, go out alone. A lot of us averages joes don't have the social circle (why were here too) to have a person on hand. And most of the guys I have been out with, they only get in the way.

If you are super nervous about going out alone, best thing I can reccommend is take some salsa lessons and start at a salsa bar alone. Lotta girls will go out with one friend or even by themselves and expect/want to be approached by you.

Rejection rate is better at these places. Usually even on bad nights I only get turned down once every 3 or 4 women there. Good nights less then half turn me down. Eventually I find one girl I click with and dance with her all the long night and really get to know her.

I am thinking about writing a post about this idea too. Gives you a reason to go to the bar that is not "Trying to get laid".

Whalers7997 · 2015-07-14T00:16:25+00:00

Saved it on mobile.

legitviva · 2015-07-14T02:49:06+00:00

I was at the beach this weekend with my friends and everynight we went out together was horrible.. I don't know if I like going out by myself or with a group better.. I also have to take into account that I was baked those two nights, can anybody else not function and talk to women when they smoke weed?

toost1cky · 2015-07-14T03:15:11+00:00

I'd avoid shaking a girl's hand when you first meet, that's stuff guys do. Maybe that's what you meant already but just checkin

Title	Go out alone
Author	Wolfengristl
Upvotes	220
Comments	69
Date	July 13, 2015 8:10 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3d601e/go_out_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/go-out-alone.1391001 https://theredarchive.com/post/1391001

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