Having trouble getting men interested

Onzalimey · 2024-11-06T04:55:46+00:00

Max out your hotness. It’s the simple for women. Gym being #1, clothes can help too

AcrossTheShimenawa · 2024-11-06T04:35:21+00:00

I will comment as someone who's been around for a decade and more in the space in various forms including coaching. I've seen and experienced all sides of the spectrum from the kinds of toxic relationships that ruin lives, to blandest of the mediocre, to beautiful healthy couplings that leave both people better off whether they end in marriage or not.

Other guys may screen for other qualities, this is my list:

Non negotiables (won't keep around even for a fling):

if she's argumentative
if she does anything to put my trust in jeopardy
dependent on validation or attention on anyone other than her intimate partner

Green flags (on the road to relationship if what we want for the future aligns):

good communicator
has a good relationship with her family
kind / nurturing
loyal
hygienic
ambitious / driven
cares about remaining physically attractive/healthy

As a general rule I find the adage to be true; we attract what we are. It may seem like alot especially when you're young, and I certainly didn't always have all of these qualities. However, from what I've seen it is necessary to acquire them if your goal is a long term relationship where there is mutual understanding and both people thrive.

Here is the good news; you do not need to have all these qualities to attract a partner who already embodies them. You must simply acknowledge that these are virtues you want to cultivate and that will be good enough. As much as the whole " you must be happy with yourself before you can be with someone else" gets passed around, it misses the whole component of healing while you're with somebody. That is a very real and powerful force.

For example; if a guy is callous but wants to change, being with a woman who embodies kindness can actively help him develop this side of his personality. It will be good for everyone involved and I support it.

On the other hand if the guy doesn't want to change, this is just the girl opening herself up to be hurt and abused and will end in heartbreak for both.

The examples I gave go for both men and women equally.

Charge36 · 2024-11-06T04:18:58+00:00

Hit the gym

heartrob22 · 2024-11-06T04:19:07+00:00

Have a conversation on a daily basis on a message, call and VC...Show a caring side of yours for him... Don't ghost someone unnecessary, it's a big turn off for guys...Just confront him for the same... Last I don't know if you're comfortable with or not, do some flirting and have some naughty conversation sometimes

four204eva2 · 2024-11-06T08:16:28+00:00

Be blunt and direct! As a man, i can attest that we have no idea when you're flirting with us. And always feel free to approach first and then make it known explicitly that you'd like to do something further with them

Ok_Raisin_9844 · 2024-11-06T19:23:37+00:00

Be attractive Don’t be unattractive Be interesting

Recktion · 2024-11-06T05:05:54+00:00

Go after men with less options. Why should a men settle for you if he has other options? Or be special enough to where other options are not as good as you.

SebastianGraphicdsgn · 2024-11-06T10:21:15+00:00

I think you should be honest with yourself, you probably know the reason yourself.

Look in the mirror, do I look alright?

Do I say offputting things?

Am I too clingy?

What kind of vibes am I giving off.

Do i smell bad?

The truth is, as a woman you can shoot your shot and 99% of the time get a positive response, there is no reality where you'll be harshly rejected by putting yourself out there.

wishing you luck, just take chances and you'll find the right guy.

TakeAChillPill99 · 2024-11-06T13:30:49+00:00

I don’t think you really need to get men interested. I think you need to find men who are interested. As long as you’re presenting yourself honestly and loving yourself, someone will see it and want in! People come and go. That’s just life. It’s not necessarily indicative of how you’re doing.

GreenNukE · 2024-11-06T18:47:36+00:00

Beyond the obvious, be fun and easy to talk to. I think that one of major problems with our society and culture is that for many people dating is a miserable experience.
We do it because it will supposedly lead to something good, but would otherwise never bother with it. If you are pleasant to date, men will want to date you. They may even fight.

Ok_Potential359 · 2024-11-06T19:38:35+00:00

Are you fat? Be objective. Lack of attention in the beginning is purely based on physical attraction.

devilsglare · 2024-11-06T19:50:05+00:00

Getting out of situationship is entirely on your personality. Do hobbies and shit and find someone through that

JimbledRaisin · 2024-11-06T23:42:15+00:00

Literally just gym with emphasis on legs;glutes and back.

Good posture as well

mister_k1 · 2024-11-06T13:46:52+00:00

probably not the answer you wanna hear but stop dating chad and tyron, regular normal guys don't leave a decent girl

xotwoduiux · 2024-11-06T14:31:16+00:00

As cliche as it sounds: do things that make you happy, very often. It results in you feeling nice and confident all the time, if you're interested in music, do that more often. Go for treks more often, or whatever it is that you like.

That will, in a way change the way that you think. It'll make you happier and more confident. Which are attractive things to possess, no matter what gender.

Now coming to what men like, I'd say men usually like appreciation, as we're starved of it. If you like a certain thing about him, give a genuine compliment. That'll stay with him. Idk what else to say, i haven't had many relationships, but I'm attracted to girls who are funny and take care of their appearance.

fuckbitchesgetpolio · 2024-11-06T14:33:46+00:00

Most men and women at your age aren't looking for or in a mindset to make a long term relationship work and they're just looking for sex. If this is what you want, it should be communicated pretty early on that it's what you're looking to cultivate and aren't interested in wasting your time.

kanzphan123 · 2024-11-06T15:40:28+00:00

Man here. The ancient Vietnamese had this one quote. “First body, second is skin, and face is third.” Hit the gym and build yourself a bombass body. Men won’t refuse ya

New_Atmosphere_9247 · 2024-11-06T17:06:46+00:00

Men aren't as superficial as others here may make you believe. I have been attracted to girls of various sizes, body types, with varying levels of superficial attractiveness. but i have never been attracted to a girl with bad hair. I personally always fall for Girls with glasses and shoulder length hair. Consider what kind of hair might promote your attractiveness, try something out.

I also dislike the way many women dress. They all look the same, so you can easily capitalize on that by dressing uniquely.

If you want to get a specific man, you might want to befriend him. Many guys are very passive and they might just develop feelings for you if you're around them for long enough.

Anhxtaiii · 2024-11-06T22:13:47+00:00

seems like a relationship is the least of what you want to be in right now tbh

redspikedog · 2024-11-06T06:48:31+00:00

I really like that you're going out. I really do. I wish you success in a relationship.

Try watching Mathew Hussey. It can answer many questions.

Exotic-Day-8675 · 2024-11-06T15:35:31+00:00

hit the gym and give really good head

nopedotweed · 2024-11-06T11:36:47+00:00

Try giving a fuck

Outside_Bowler8148 · 2024-11-06T05:16:31+00:00

You need to understand what men want in a relationship (and no it’s not hotness lol, yeah we are visual creatures that prioritize looks in pre-selecting sexual mates but once we lay that shit kinda becomes less important when choosing a girlfriend).

Cosephtaughtyou · 2024-11-06T16:17:30+00:00

Be a siren.

Odd-Insurance458 · 2024-11-06T20:29:52+00:00

I really don't understand some people's issues. Unless you are super unattractive, if a girl showed interest in me, and showed she really cares I would gladly form a relationship with them. Are you pursuing fuckboys or having improper hygiene?

Brave_Scholar_3849 · 2024-11-06T09:07:53+00:00

Hi! I’m 19

I haven’t had more than situationships for over three years with 4 very different men

Wait a minute the math doesn't add up, you have a warped reality of what a man wants from a women which is why those situationships failed, sex is not the only thing he looks for in a relationship

A women using sex to attract a man is like a man using money to attract a women, we both of them will fail. those situationships happened because you couldn't offer anything more than your body at the time & since they got what they wanted they left. For the next guy try getting him a relationship without fucking him, it's gonna be hard but to succed you will have to rely on other things that are important

Title	Having trouble getting men interested
Author	Serious_Investment12
Upvotes	10
Comments	55
Date	November 6, 2024 4:03 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1gkpsja/having_trouble_getting_men_interested/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/having-trouble-getting-men-interested.1534776 https://theredarchive.com/post/1534776

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