How can I have confidence?

LordBaconus · 2015-09-30T03:19:18+00:00

Confidence is not knowing she'll fall for you. It's knowing that even if she doesn't, you'll be fine.

The key is feeling comfortable. Only when you're comfortable can you be your best self.

Unfortunately, the best way to expand your comfort zone is escaping it every once in a while.

ImJustSo · 2015-09-30T10:53:17+00:00

I'm told by others that I'm a confident person, but I never feel confidence. What I actually feel is, "No fucks given."

I don't care what other men look like compared to me.

I don't care if Sally Sue likes me or not.

I don't care if what I just said sounds stupid to someone.

I don't care if someone doesn't like something I like.

I don't care if others are different from me.

I like what I like, I do what I do, I dress how I dress, I do my hair the way I do, and I walk fuckin big and stare anyone in the eyes, because I just give no fucks.

I'm not afraid of death and I'm not afraid of life. I am here to be amused and as comfortable as I can possibly be.

ThatAgnosticGuy · 2015-09-30T05:13:31+00:00

Become proficient at an intrument, lift, learn how to banter. Meditate with the intent of "raising your vibration," and do it everyday for some months. There are a lot of things you can do. Pick up hobbies like basketball, calligraphy, kendo, boxing, there is so much to do in life. When trying to gain confidence don't focus on women as much and focus on yourself. It shouldn't be an on and off thing but a general state of being for your person. Yah sometimes you'll go through periods of expansion on compression but generally you should strive for a state of self that is higher than what you are now.

I was always somewhat confident and interested (or shameless) with women since I was young, but it really came for me one summer. Lost 50 pounds. It was a summer revolving around meditating (Chakara meditation) I did it pretty much everyday and was very serious about it. Sometimes in my room, but I would usually go to my backyard or bike down to the pond sometime before noon and do it for 40 minutes to an hour. Eventually I incorporated marijuana into my meditating but that's a whole other topic. I also pretty drastically cut my caloric intake, some intermittent fasting, and played a lot of basketbal with friends. It was a summer I can never forget. I was basically in my own world, there was a very heavy spiritual component the whole way through. I learned so much about myself, everyone saw the pretty drastic weight difference, and that year was my most successful with women as far as raw numbers are concerned. I felt born a new person with new confidence.

That may have been a ramble, but I thought I'd share my experience because it was pivotal for me. But anyway, confidence comes from your feeling of yourself, not women. Become interesting and well read, but make it genuine. Don't try to get by on being pretentious. Once that becomes truly who you are, everything will fall into place, from women, to work, and even academics. Find a passion, talk about it. Realise you can do and learn almost anything you want and then put that into practice.

M7782 · 2015-09-30T03:17:17+00:00

No such thing as a magic pill, drug, or shortcuts to make yourself confident. You have to begin working on yourself right now!

baladash_malanore · 2015-09-30T03:51:15+00:00

Ugh people are always so quick to jump to drugs. Don't be like those assholes who claim they have adult ADHD just because they're lazy and want to abuse Adderall. Confidence is something you have to earn. There are no shortcuts.

letsgetrandy · 2015-09-30T05:34:41+00:00

Bro, do you even lift?

You're clearly desperate and fantasizing. Chicks smell that a mile away and steer clear. Get into yourself. Get in the gym. LIFT! Take some dance classes. Learn a foreign language. Learn to cook. Raise your value and your self esteem. Women will see that and want it.

4everspokenfor · 2015-09-30T03:38:11+00:00

Something that worked for me is the "fake it 'til you make it" method. You pretend to be confident, pretend that you're someone who you admire, maybe, until you believe your own lie. I used this before on-stage performances. I told myself I was Beyoncé, TBH. Always worked.

Fudgeworth · 2015-09-30T04:10:23+00:00

A big part of confidence for me is looking good. On Saturday night, if I've done 4 workouts that week then I'm going to like the way I look in a tight shirt and dark jeans. If I've gotten a haircut recently, I'm freshly shaved, I've splashed on cologne, then I know a couple of girls are going to look at me and smile.

sedtawy · 2015-09-30T08:27:42+00:00

Confidence comes from within not without. Just trust yourself to do your thing and let whatever happens happen. Don't worry about screwing up. Everyone screws up and nobody cares. Why should you?

JBiebers · 2015-09-30T08:28:40+00:00

Confidence is mastery. More specifically, mastery at something which is relevant to what you are currently doing. If you are a master of reading/talking to people, you are confident talking to everyone. If you are the star of a soccer game, you feel confident talking to everyone at the pitch as well. If you're a magician performing card tricks at a bar and someone is admiring you, you will feel confident.

So, literally, get good. At something. And do it.

Examples: Card tricks, gym, long-distance running, writing books, playing an instrument... you will always have so much to talk about.

pacg · 2015-09-30T08:29:36+00:00

There are lots of ways to do it as the other comments illustrate. Pick the one that works best for you. I find that it's helpful to actually be good at something tangible. But fake it till you make it also works well for some people.

Revules · 2015-09-30T10:39:07+00:00

Do interesting things, be interesting. That way you won't put too much pressure on yourself when talking to this girl because you know what you are worth even if she doesn't fall for you.

nefosjb · 2015-09-30T14:00:01+00:00

LAHWF once said in his videos the only way to become confident is to actually just go ahead and talk to girls no matter what over and over and over again...

melodesign · 2015-09-30T15:45:23+00:00

Don't try and find the easy route out of this one. Drugs are a slippery slope which is off-putting to the type of women you're most likely are after.

Seriously.

Everything takes time and whatever worth doing in life, will not come overnight.

Be the best you that you can be. There's only one of yeah.

pickupchange · 2015-09-30T16:15:39+00:00

Unfortunately there is nothing that will make you magically confident. The only person who can help you become confident is you. How do you think people became confident? Are they born like that? Of course not. They spent time and effort training for it, taking risks talking in front of other people, making mistakes, risking to be criticize... They invested in themselves, even if it wasn't easy and they would have preferred to stay under the radar. That's the same thing you have to do. You have to be stubborn and motivated. You already know what to do to become confident, now you need the balls to start. The first times you will feel nervous and your anxiety will be sky high. But practising and practising, you start to become more present, away from all the bullshit that you have in your head. When you'll learn to be completely focused on what's happening IN THE MOMENT, you will become automatically confident. Start taking risks, approach girls, talk to strangers, do the things you don't want to do. This is the only way that will lead you to confidence.

philosarapter · 2015-09-30T17:34:15+00:00

Is there a drug or something I can take?

Ecstasy if you can find it. lol. That shit makes me ooze confidence and talk to everyone. But it only lasts for so long and has some other side effects...

If you want real, sustained confidence, you need to work on yourself and your inner game. Hit the gym, always look and smell your best, compliment yourself, avoid negative self-talk, overcome challenges, develop a positive attitude, and most importantly: push through your fears. If something scares you, purposely go and do it to overcome your fear of it.

Confidence is simply acting without doubt. Identify what triggers your self-doubt and practice on eliminating it.

egecan53 · 2015-09-30T21:31:09+00:00

watch all the rdstyler and elliot hulse videos and you are done

LoL_bsims · 2015-10-01T07:21:44+00:00

I recently revisited this site recently i used to go on it a while back, maybe this could boost confidence though pitches of nose. I tried it over the weekend and I think it helped. If you google around you can get free copys of different tones.

http://idosersoftware.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=91

Title	How can I have confidence?
Author	zeppelincheetah
Upvotes	25
Comments	26
Date	September 30, 2015 3:12 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3mx4v9/how_can_i_have_confidence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-i-have-confidence.1395107 https://theredarchive.com/post/1395107

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