How do I boost my confidence?

RedErin · 2010-11-17T14:32:50+00:00

All you have to do is fake it til you make it. If you fake that you have confidence, then over time, your brain is change it's mind and you will actually be confident. Just like Pavlovs dogs, or baby Albert.

neur0 · 2010-11-17T09:36:14+00:00

You know its funny when I hear this from people and I think, "I'm sure they have other things going in their lives" At least, that was how I approached things.

Saw that my fear in confidence in women was that I lacked substantial things in my life worth being happy about and that my fear was a result of societal pressures making me feel bad before for not doing x y z.

So I "got some" in every way I can think of. In college so that made it easier for me. Joined a debate team to hone my wit and ability to talk in large crowds. Dipped into politics so I can learn to talk to important people. Got a job so I can talk to random strangers. Am a president of a social activism club to learn how to lead people. (I must say all these steps really boost my value to women)

Weird thing? Girls just came to me because I put myself out there. I stopped caring what societal pressures told me to do and "got some" and made something of my life.

Oh, side note, this was a 3 year process after stumbling over a pick up book my friend showed me after he said I was an AFC.

So going back, whats are the shits that MAKE you? How can you make yourself? What IS your problem? Yourself? Shit around you? Mine was that I wasn't made well enough so I fixed that. My problem on AA was stemmed from myself and society. Fix those and you can attempt to fix your AA. It's not a race. Men get better with age.

philosarapter · 2010-11-17T16:29:34+00:00

Make a list of all the things you are good at. Memorize them, repeat them in your head until you know beyond a shadow of a doubt you have something to offer. If you don't have anything you are good at, start something and get good at it.

Always know and focus on your strengths. Only think about your weaknesses when you are working to fix them.

uchihavino · 2010-11-17T09:18:38+00:00

For AA, I'd just suggest the 3 second rule and blow out of some warmup sets when you sarge a club or bar. Just enjoy yourself and you'll better your mood.

For Self Confidence, it'll come with success, but success comes with self confidence. A great way to control your emotions, frame, and confidence, is using NLP. It'll teach you anchors and other techniques that'll let you control your emotions and become more confident at a touch of your anchor (like pressing two fingers together, or another anchor)

thaeds · 2010-11-17T21:33:46+00:00

Dress well, smile at everyone all the time, talk to everyone all the time, get out more often, see more people, notice things around you, like the sky or trees, and notice that no one else does.

Smiling at everyone and talking to everyone is a prerequisite to success with women. Use cashiers and waiters and males and teachers etc. for practice. If you haven't talked to at least three new people today go buy some gum from a store just so you can ask the cashier how her day had been. It won't take more than a few weeks before you're comfortable enough to pick up girls.

somethingisburning · 2010-11-18T08:55:02+00:00

This is basically me on the way to wherever I'm going where I might approach someone. I'm not quite as heavy metal about it as Dwight, but it definitely gets me out of my head and I step into the bar/party/whatever feeling like a fucking rock star.

cheddarchexmix · 2010-11-17T07:51:14+00:00

You need to be self-confident to have game. Forget about picking up chicks until you get there. There is lots of good self-help literature on the shelves about doing this, you have to start with yourself. Looks are not an obstacle if you are really confident. I would start with hitting the Amazon reviews on books about self-confidence and self-improvement. You need to build an awesome life and believe that you are awesome.

The best advice I can give you from the PUA community to get over AA is here. It takes a lot of practice to get good at but is a good place to start. This post has some good advice too. But neither will be very helpful until you are on the right path to feeling good about yourself.

Mouthpiece · 2010-11-17T18:49:21+00:00

Small things can help you build confidence, one brick at a time. Upgrade your look—try a new outfit, new hairstyle (or even just new hair product—you don't have to get a new cut), buff up a bit at the gym. All these things will make you feel a little bit better than you do now, and cumulatively, will have some impact.

Also, physiology has a direct impact on the brain. Ever seen how a confident person walks, stands, sits, smiles? If you do those things in the same way, you will feel more confident.

Stand tall, shoulders up, chin up, with a smile, and you'll feel like you own the place. Spend a few minutes thinking about a time when you were 100% absolutely, completely, supremely confident, feel how it affects your physiology, and then try to keep your physical state in that place.

Confidence can be totally faked until it is earned. Practice, my friend.

afcanonymous · 2010-11-17T21:01:58+00:00

Go in expecting to fail. When you see how nice girls can be you'll start to feel better.

I haven't done this, but I know some guy who did this and it went excellently. Set aside a week, and go out for 4 hours a day, during the day, or the night. go to an area where you'd never go otherwise. Open sets.

Start small. Open with simple questions/compliments. "Where's the restroom?" "What time does the bar close?" "I love that your scarf matches your eyes."

Then transition with "you seem friendly, where are you from?" or something similar. Learn to create rapport. Then, continue from there. All you need to do is start a conversation for now, for that week.

Report back to Reddit with your results.

2010-11-18T12:18:55+00:00

Honestly, the best way to go about it is by practicing and exercising. Start working out in whatever way you'd like. Go to the gym and you'll start liking yourself and your physique more and more. In addition to this, start talking to people you see. A simple "Hello" will suffice with strangers and start holding conversations with those you see around every once in a while. When you're walking down a street or in a supermarket, start making eye contact with the women there and give them a smile.

It's a gradual process and you won't become super confident overnight. At times that confidence will disappear out of nowhere but it's just as easy to regain. Confidence will come more from loving yourself and holding yourself in high regard.

herpderpity · 2010-11-17T13:07:10+00:00

Check out r/malefashionadvice. It's much easier to have confidence when you are dressed well.

Title	How do I boost my confidence?
Author	tazman2087
Upvotes	3
Comments	16
Date	November 17, 2010 7:40 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e7f47/how_do_i_boost_my_confidence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-boost-my-confidence.1313040 https://theredarchive.com/post/1313040

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