How do you become more confident?

PatientAssociation62 · 2021-08-06T13:39:58+00:00

Confidence is also a state of mind. I've gained confidence just by reading a lot of material to help me understand why my "game" sucked, started slowly applying it, and am seeing better results. Competence is the cousin of competence and understanding women's emotions, attraction triggers, etc has helped me. Finally it's a process. I used to dread talking to girls, now I want to but am still nervous. I like the Corey Wayne analogy. It's like a blooming rose. You can't stimulate the rose to bloom faster, it just takes time.

bean_addict · 2021-08-06T15:12:52+00:00

The six pillars of self-esteem really helped with my confidence. I strongly recommand anyone to read it and do the sentence completion excersises regularly. Ultimatively, you can build confidence without having much success yet.

In summary, the 6 pillars are

1) awareness: becoming more aware how you interact with people and how you/they feel is the foundation for diagnosing your problems

2) acceptance: truly accept your weaknesses and desires and your anxiousness will disappear. This is the basis for change. You can't work on your weaknesses/desires if you don't acknowledge them

3) responsibility: realize that you are fully responsible for taking action and working on yourself. No one else will help you. You are on your own

4) self-assertion: learn to put your own needs above anyone elses. Speak your mind and don't bend for others. Say 'no' to things you don't want to do

5) goals: reflect what your current goals are. Make concrete, realistic plans

6) integrity: reflect on what values are important to you. Write them down and live them out. Not respecting your own values lowers your self-esteem.

Of course, all the pillars are interconnected, dynamic and you need to practice them all. For example, violating your integrity requires awareness of your own actions. If you can't reach certain goals, you must accept that your plan was not realistic and maybe introduce simpler intermediate goals. Maybe you are nervous to approach girls because you haven't fully accepted the desire of improving your love life, because other people might think you are a loser. Then you need to practice self-assertion and prioretising your own needs.

Such_Ad_2442 · 2021-08-06T11:13:57+00:00

Try to be good at something try martial arts

harvey_croat · 2021-08-06T13:59:11+00:00

Well you can have alot of girls but it doesn't correlate with confidence.

It is probably somewhere subscouncisouly

jumpinsnakes · 2021-08-06T21:20:26+00:00

So make friends that are social go out with them to the bar and act the same way you do in private with them at the bar and then when your comfortable with that engage other people the same way. Keep doing this and you will be come your real social self. This worked for me in the military. I was lucky to have social barracks friends.

Also mirror your social friends mannerisms that you like.

BigDog11984 · 2021-08-06T12:54:17+00:00

Try semen retention. Guaranteed confidence in 2-3 weeks.

jwilhelm0618 · 2021-08-06T16:08:54+00:00

Fake it til you make it

socialanimal_us · 2021-08-06T14:28:27+00:00

Check this out, you ll find this perpective refreshing https://youtu.be/g9msqcQedsQ

2021-08-06T17:05:35+00:00

Confidence comes from being comfortable under tension. Practise steping into uncomfortable situations and let ur body feel the tension and anxiety. When u do that many times you start feeling unfazed by the things that used to make u shit ur pants.

VanillaCider2021 · 2021-08-06T19:50:54+00:00

Honestly I can only speak for myself -

In my 20's I had zero game and zero confidence. I am a good looking guy with a good personality but I lacked confidence.

Around 30 I started a business that tested me to the point I almost lost everything. It costed me my marriage, I developed severe anxiety, and I was on the verge of bankruptcy.

Around the 2 year mark it started to come together and my confidence grew as my business grew. I realized that if I survived all of that then anything else is easy. Suddenly I was fearless and a huge risk taker.

This bled into my personality and suddenly I was so confident with women. I literally have the belief that I can get any girl I want. That obviously isn't reality but I will approach any girl I like.

Also as my business grew I started making more money which also gives you confidence.

Also, dress well. Wear a fitted blazer often.

When you gain confidence you realize certain things don't get girls: showing off, expensive cars, being ripped - none of those things really matter when it comes to game

strikerx07 · 2021-08-06T19:56:42+00:00

Talk to more people, specially girls, confidence comes from mastery which comes from experience (provided that you actively learn from your mistakes)

CompetitionFair7686 · 2021-08-06T21:43:37+00:00

Confidence comes from self-acceptance and from taking things much less seriously, including failure. When you start thinking that dating is just a silly game and not a personal fight for your pride, you stop treating what happens on your dates as something serious or personal that reflects your value or lack of.

When you detach yourself from the outcome of your actions and successes or failures, and when you accept your flaws and even learn to laugh or make fun of those flaws you have, you become confident.

because you no longer care what anybody thinks or says, since you have become detached from the experience. It. o longer is something serious now it’s just a game, and screwing yo in a game doesn’t kill your self esteem or your confidence, the just a competitive thing and it doesn’t matter if you fail because you just have fun and know that with more training eventually you win in the game

itsazdeen · 2021-08-07T02:12:57+00:00

you don't gain confidance to talk to girls and do pickup, you do pickup and talk to girls to gain confidance

Title	How do you become more confident?
Author	Blackmetalpenguin90
Upvotes	4
Comments	22
Date	August 6, 2021 11:11 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/oz4ir4/how_do_you_become_more_confident/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-become-more-confident.1278837 https://theredarchive.com/post/1278837

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