People rarely breakdown how to be the leader of a kickass social circle, which is pretty much the most important part of game. These suggestions are a great starting point. I’ll elaborate, and then elaborate a bit more. I don’t normally drop advice, so let me know if this helps.

^ Overview ^

  • How to get a sick crew of guys and become a leader among these men (the under discussed art of bro-game)
  • Be the source of fun: Have a lot of fun doing a lot of fun shit with a lot of fun people (aka experience college like its meant to be)
  • Simultaneously work on accomplishing things that make you feel proud about yourself: Dream, prioritize, learn, do, fail, try harder, grow, succeed, repeat (aka: take control of your life and make it fucking glorious)
  • Once you have your solid crew, focus on the fun and achievement while being friendly and outgoing and people will flock to you. Be selective of who you let partake in your grand life and suddenly you will be surrounded by great friends who you do great shit with. Beautiful, fascinating, lady-in-the-street/freak-in-the-bed type women sleep with these kinds of men. In college and afterwards (in college you just get to focus more on the fun and crazy parts!).

Okay so that’s the general game plan. But let’s talk specifics.

^ How to get a sick crew of guys and become a leader among these men (the under discussed art of bro-game) ^

Broken into Terms (read from top to bottom, duh)

Aloofness: Realize that you are not going to get along with every guy and that’s okay. Also realize that in college there are many guys who, once they have high social value, will treat unknown guys like shit, so be socially aware of what situation you are in. Generally if you are in one of your bro’s rooms and a friend of his that you don’t know comes in, you should never introduce yourself and generally remain aloof until they introduce themselves or initiate direct conversation with you. This doesn’t mean completely ignore them, but don’t get too high energy before they show some interest in you. Test them on their credentials a bit. Validate them, and then start finding out if you guys get along. Of course if they are being friendly and open, go ahead and do the same! I usually like these kinds of guys more anyway. Once you start clicking with a guy, a good way to solidify the initial interaction is throw out a low-commitment, unspecified timebridge.

Low-commitment, unspecified timebridge: Lets say you just met a guy who’s chill. You both hate wine and love a good hoppy beer. Just like you can mention a new beer garder to some one who’s already your friend, you can casually throw out that you and your new homie should ‘check out the beergarden some time’. This low-commitment, unspecified timebridge is a great way to make acquaintances. It doesn't even matter if you dont end up going to most of the things you offer, it just creates a sense of connection so that when you see each other at a party you guys are 'boys' even if you haven’t really chilled much before. Of course, it also gives a great reason to reach out to them and actually go have a fun time with someone new and see if they meet your criteria for being a friend.

Acquaintances: People who you can be friendly with at parties, even though you aren’t really friends. This is important in general as both a step in the process, and an honest signal, of you hitting critical mass on campus socially. The more acquaintances you have, the better. Lots of reasons why, that are obvious. But specifically related to building a sick crew, it gives you the best chances of finding people that meet your high-friend-standards and accomplishing role-filling.

High-Friend-Standards: If you’re going to put in the effort to be the leader of a crew of guys, you gotta make sure they’re great friends! Everyone has different qualities they look for. I’ll just let you know my top quality for illustrative purposes. First and foremost I make sure that I have friends that I respect. My closest friends are people that I love bragging about and feel lucky to have. These are first ring family. Oh and they have to be fun, hilarious, immature, driven, and good-hearted too!

Role-filling: In conjunction with having high friend standards in terms of the qualities you look for in your friends, your social circle should also be well-rounded and filled with guys who will help you be the best you can be in many different facets of your life. Look at the small list of roles I compiled and make sure you have a friend who fits into each role. Each of the roles should be filled. Some friends will fill multiple slots, others only one, others none. It’s all kosher as long as all of theses slots are filled. If they aren’t you need to work on getting some more guy friends that round out your life. An important part of becoming a leader among your crew while using role-filling is to have primaries and secondary’s (see below and then refer back to list).

  • Workout buddies Primary: has the kind of body you want (my roommate has girls always grabbing at his shoulders), going to the gym is a priority for him, and he has a scheduled workout plan. Going with him should motivates you to train harder, makes your workout routine simple (follow his lead), and you should know that you’ll always have someone to go with. Secondary: As with all of the following roles, be willing to switch it up every so often and not go with a primary and instead go with a secondary.

  • Try-new-things buddies Restaurants, paintball, night-time adventures, casino runs, strip clubs

  • Drinking/Partying buddies

  • Great-work-ethic buddies Vital for becoming a success story

  • Great-with-girls buddies Practice absurd pick up attempts Great wingman

  • Shared interests buddies Making beer Smoking and playing Super Smash Bros. Going snowboarding, watching Eli Manning break my poor heart, watching Breaking Bad break my poor heart. Etc.

Primaries and Secondary’s: A general trend is that you will usually have 1-2 people who strongly fill a certain role, and then others who occasionally fill the role. This is very important to naturally becoming the leader of your group. Not being tied to one person for an activity is huge because when people feel replaceable, they work harder to be with you. That sounds conniving and cold, but its just reality.

Organizer: By having your first and second row of cool, funny friends who you do different things with, you now have small army which you can organize. A sometimes frustrating part of establishing yourself as the leader of the social circle is being the organizer for a byo dinner party or sushi-sake lunch or pre-game or whatever. Some people might like getting everyone’s schedule and figuring out the perfect time for 15 guys to meet up, but I know I don’t. Never the less when you first start out, it’s important to establish yourself as the guy who can bring everyone together to have a good time. If you’ve done a good job selecting who your friends are by having high-friend-standards and networked enough to get primaries and secondary’s, then your first couple of organized events should be a lot of fun for everyone. This is how you build a reputation. Once the reputation is established your job can be easier when trying to set up 5-10-15 person pizza and pitcher outings or what not, utilizing general invites. Building a reputation also provides the opportunity to attempt more daring events, which have even bigger payoffs (continuing the cycle of building your reputation). Organizing is an annoying, yet a vital part of the process to becoming the leader of an awesome and well-rounded social circle. At this point you just about have your sick crew of guys and are well on your way to becoming one of the leaders of it. Congrats! I told you it wasn’t so hard after all!

General Invites: You now have a reputation as being the guy that galvanizes the fun for his wide variety of fun great friends. Now you’ll start getting texts from these guys often asking ‘what’s the plan for tn?’ and what not. From here organizing fun dinners can be a regular weeknight occurrence and a simple group text away. You’ve gone from crewless to head honcho in no time. ‘Docks @ 7, byob mothafuckas’ aaaaaand done.

Stay Tuned for Being the Source of Fun!