I can’t turn it off

Back2theCouture · 2026-02-23T22:54:53+00:00

it’s not me they like, it’s how I make them feel.

You’ve found a secret to seduce women yet you’re disappointed that’s not about you lol.

But seriously, “they finally like me” almost always comes later. They will eventually associate “how you make them feel” with “yourself”. It’s almost like the famous Pavlov’s dog experiment.

Due-You-8140 · 2026-02-23T20:38:00+00:00

Care to share some wisdom based on your research and results on the psychology

ImpossibleWaiting · 2026-02-24T06:24:56+00:00

What stops you from doing some inner game work and actually focus on your own happiness?

destroyeraf · 2026-02-24T11:04:48+00:00

Lowkey relate. I'm not at your level yet, but still have noticed... the more I am myself, the less attracted they are. The more I act like a douche who doesn't give af, they cream themselves. Why can't I just be a nice guy :/

Available-Note-9652 · 2026-02-24T15:19:05+00:00

If you really are this social savant you claim to be why aren’t you a billionaire? Bait

HomelessMilkman · 2026-02-24T11:38:50+00:00

I know deep down it’s not me they like, it’s how I make them feel

This is just a fact of life, you don't have inherent value.

Though, saying that - if you want to be pedantic - a present, charismatic, comfortable version of you is more reflective of 'you' (pure consciousness); rather than the self-concerned, survival focused, 'ego' (body consciousness). "Be yourself" is accurate, if you're not talking about the petty desires to feel safe and comfortable in a situation; that isn't 'you'.

The 'system' is perfect as is it is. In that, you're not 'allowed' to be low self-esteem; you're kept accountable to being 'high self-esteem' and uplifting those around you. Being kept accountable, that you can't just make a minimal effort to 'be attractive' and fall back to weird uncomfortable behaviour afterwards, is the whole entire point.

It is admittedly a little fucked how fast people can flip on you, 100%. But again, if that didn't happen, you wouldn't learn; you wouldn't be incentivised not to sink back down. It's not what you want, it's what you need. Avoiding relationships, avoiding real accountability, showing 'self-esteem' in select, curated situations is hollow and unfulfilling (although admittedly cool to those without any results); you know you haven't got it like that to sustain it long-term, the actual substance.

It's having your business underperforming, your relationship going sour, real unforeseen shit, your livelihood on the line, and you're accountable to perform. Lets go. Very obviously, being comfortable and performative under low pressure stakes will always be surface level. It's absolutely a starting point but the whole point is that you can deal me the worst hand, and I'll still win; only because I've experienced the 'cost' of 'falling off' and knowing you don't have the time, energy, resources to be self-concerned. You can choose not to play, but you can't complain it's not fulfilling in the shallow end.

Dandys3107 · 2026-02-24T07:59:00+00:00

People are who they are. Do you want to make a choice to hate them for their faults or love them for their merits?

V3X390 · 2026-02-24T14:46:52+00:00

Dude is suffering from success lol

morelale · 2026-02-24T15:59:50+00:00

I'm out the game but I divorced in 2020. Before that I used to be "smooth" with the ladies but not because I tried, I'm genuinely a funny guy, not good looking but I always try to dress decent and smell good. The biggest thing is that I'm not shy at all and I'm also not a creep😂😂. If I see a beautiful girl, I don't even look in that direction because beautiful girls are usually overwhelm with attention but I'll say something eventually to her that's not related to her looks.

If it's online, I would never comment any sexy pictures or react to it, I'll rather comment on a nice view or a cup of coffee instead of sounding thirsty like the rest of the guys.

Once you understand this, you start to get busier and busier, therefore, you will have less time to talk, chat or go on dates (because of the other dates you might have) and this creates a ball of snow. But, like OP mentioned, it gets lonely quickly. I felt like a carcass for 2 years until I met by current girlfriend.

Sometimes I laugh when I see another guys going crazy over the "new girl" at work, while I'm genuinely not interested because I don't want to cheat on my girl and then eventually, I'm the "interesting guy" that don't talk to all girls.

ChicoBrillo · 2026-02-24T21:02:01+00:00

acting like an xman mutant haunted by your new found powers lmao chill out man its not that serious, the world just doesn't work the way you thought it did before. Youll adjust

Kylearean · 2026-02-24T23:36:55+00:00

Been there too. It was fun at first, you feel like you've cracked the secret code that was so elusive for so long, but then you realize it's a hollow victory. Fucking 5 different girls per week isn't winning anything. Chances are that you're going to burn right through "the one" because this train doesn't slow down easily.

UnidentifiedTomato · 2026-02-24T17:12:57+00:00

It's an empty path forward my friend. Even if you feel envious of guys who get whatever they want just know they're playing a very closed up game. The fun gets sucked out when you're not feeling wanted

VisionAtlas · 2026-02-24T19:20:21+00:00

Hey bro I do completely understand what you’re going through. It gets better. Becoming Chad is lonely and you quickly learn that women not only fetishize your promiscuous lifestyle, you find that they more and more often just want sex and nothing more. And you begin to wonder what the hell we’re all doing out here. And you watch your connections become more and more shallow as you see more clearly the patterns. You’re gonna feel slutty. You’re gonna feel lonely. I suggest you practice being yourself and just settle down with a nice girl. It’s been 6 years man, it’s time to move on.

LustigTheMajestic · 2026-02-24T20:07:37+00:00

It's always been about how you make someone else feel. you wanted this information too connect with people and make yourself happy I'm guessing let it be about the other person sometimes help others smile because you can help other people connect because they feel alone allow it to be more than shallow or transactional give freely because you can

InternationalPlum11 · 2026-02-24T23:07:42+00:00

It's only been three months.That's the problem

officialmrpunk · 2026-02-25T15:02:16+00:00

You are what you eat

Title	I can’t turn it off
Author	3THERBUNNY
Upvotes	44
Comments	69
Date	February 23, 2026 8:17 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rcslvu/i_cant_turn_it_off/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-cant-turn-it-off.1574108 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574108

Comments