I thought I was getting "ok" at this

Long8D · 2026-03-09T00:22:48+00:00

That's a rough patch bro

Let me help you actually break down what probably happened here and maybe you can respond if it's true because there's usually a pattern

Three women at once in December feeling like a king... that energy is exactly why it was working. You were outcome independent and you had options and they could feel it. That vibe is literally the most attractive thing a guy can have and you had it naturally because you were new to it and maybe didn't care too much about it. The moment you start showing neediness is when attraction/tension starts bleeding fast.

Then one by one they started dropping off and that's where most guys make the same mistake. You start losing the abundance mentality and the neediness creeps in even slightly and women feel that shift immediately. It's like a switch and the guy who had three women wasn't chasing and wasn't overthinking every text, wasn't second guessing himself. The guy in February was doing all of that and they sensed it before you even noticed it yourself because one ghosted you, the other downgraded you to fwb.

The travel situation hurt your confidence too and that's when the spiral really started because you went out of your way for a girl and it blew up publicly right in front of u.

The fix isn't complicated but it's not really easy either. You need to get back to having options as fast as possible because options are what killed the neediness in the first place. Get back on the apps, get back approaching, even small interactions that go well will start stacking your confidence back up. You're not starting from zero you're just in your head right now and the only way out of your head is reps.

You're already ahead of the game because you had 4, a lot of people can't even get 1. Once you have more options, you're going to be more confident if any of them drop off.

And if you don't think what I wrote above is true, then you are talking to these women the wrong way. Either you're saying some weird stuff, or you're burning out the relationships by texting too much and not setting dates. No one wants to waste time texting when there's completely 0 physical escalation. Getting dropped by 4 women like that is a little too much in a few months though, so waiting for your response so we can work on it together.

prophetprofits · 2026-03-09T00:34:27+00:00

Keep going brother. Take care of yourself, hit the gym, eat well, pursue your passions, take up mindfulness and positive affirmations to change that loser mindset.

Plenty of ebbs and flows to dating, it’s tough out here. You’ll bounce back no doubt about it. This is a good time for you to reflect, and build a stronger version of yourself. No harm in taking a break from dating for a couple months to solely focus on you.

Back2theCouture · 2026-03-09T01:41:45+00:00

I notice that there’s a pattern in situationships, and yours is similar like mine. That has been going on for years, not just a year. The pattern is basically that situationships or fwb’s are seasonal. It could be coincidence but I’m not too sure.

But mine usually goes like this: summer time I do great. Then it goes low around august-sept. Then it goes high again maybe like oct/nov (haloween, thanksgiving) thru january/february (valentine’s day is the typical marker, I always have an option or 2 past this day). Then it goes down again around march-may/june. Maybe because outdoor activity levels? Or festivities? Again, Idk.

My anticipation is typically if you have 3-5 options, then you gotta have at least 2-3 on the top tier list where they are your main options and you can put the rest on the bench. If you only have 3 options like in your case, then at least keep 1 as your first priority so you don’t lose them all.

PostAvailable9966 · 2026-03-09T02:10:34+00:00

It is normal, and dry periods in general are normal with this lifestyle. Think that women act as amplifiers: highs are higher, lows are lower. It will feel bad and there is no way of avoiding it, just plow through it.

The predictable outcome of this is that you need to tie your ID and self esteem outside of women as well.

Tractor-92 · 2026-03-09T11:09:05+00:00

Good. If you acknowledge what you feel , it means you re learning. You are true to yourself. Problem is EGO. The day you truly understand that you re not responsible for other people actions , you ll be free from most of the pain. Imagine you do a "bad" thing . A good loving person will react in a way , a bad one in another , a sad one in another, a happy person ...and so on. You did not change. What happened to you changed.

Maybe you re bad at this game , or not. My guess, is a cyclical process. I had bad days , i had amazing days and success. The only constant is you . If you don t work on yourself , you ll always be depending on external validation.

Self-esteem should come from you staying true to yourself and your principles. Learning and also forgiving yourself is a great indicator of self esteem. You have to work towards your dreams and from that never giving up attitude should your self esteem come.

I understand that confidence comes from competency for men. I know how things work. I was there and life is cruel in this way. You really understand what confidence means and where self esteem comes , only after you get the competency.

Do the work, in a conscious manner. Stay real, feel sad if its true to yourself , but don t confuse the feeling with you. Keep working harder and smarter, read, go out, approach ...Learn from fail and success . Also learn to make peace and love yourself.

Vox_Dissidens · 2026-03-10T07:33:58+00:00

You aren’t a photograph man, you’re a movie. The scene where you were killing it was just as real as the scene you’re in now, and neither can tell you what will happen next.

Most fwb stuff doesn’t last long - that’s the nature of the game. Embrace the ebb and flow, and let yourself have rough patches without self-loathing.

Jack26918 · 2026-03-09T11:31:55+00:00

Maybe the issue is you're focusing on skank hos.

AlastairXXL · 2026-03-09T13:54:56+00:00

Ghost the one that just wants to be friends

StrawberryLogical341 · 2026-03-09T19:08:38+00:00

tbh that sounds less like a “seduction problem” and more like a confidence crash after a rough streak.

2 months ago u had multiple women interested, so clearly u’re not some hopeless case. what probably changed is how u see urself now, and that affects how u act.

also dating is way more volatile than ppl admit. u can feel like a king one month and the next month everything dries up. happens to a lot of ppl.

plus coming out of a long abusive relationship messes with ur head for a while. that stuff takes time to reset.

honestly the biggest trap is when a few bad experiences make u start overanalyzing every interaction.

water_reducer · 2026-03-09T19:25:56+00:00

that sucks bro

Title	I thought I was getting "ok" at this
Author	Zepp_BR
Upvotes	10
Comments	22
Date	March 8, 2026 11:46 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rokf2a/i_thought_i_was_getting_ok_at_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-thought-i-was-getting-ok-at-this.1575040 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575040

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