Male, 27, single here. Not a new question, I'm sure, but hear me out here.

As an introduction: I've been in a few longterm relationships, have slept with a lot of girls inbetween, am confident in my own sexual ability, and have done some crazy stuff over the years - threesomes, BDSM, you name it (not frequently, but it's happened lol) I have quite a sarcastic sense of humor sometimes. I'm far from annoyingly agreeable, I have a backbone, I always stand up for things, I never ask girls if they're okay all the time, I don't seek approval, I don't do kind things and automatically feel entitled to sex, etc.

But a lot of girls tell me I'm "too nice". Sometimes to my face, sometimes through their friends, but I can even sense it myself. 3-4 of the girls I've slept with have literally expressed relief that I'm not awful in bed, because I seemed like such a "nice guy" it was a genuine concern for them.

But I think there's something different to the usual "nice guy" problems.

I think the problem is I'm not good at being flirty and expressing interest - girls always tell me weeks later that they thought I wasn't interested in them. Thing is, I'm happy with eye contact, touching and stuff, but when I'm chatting to a girl I've recently met, I enjoy the conversation so much that it never veers towards sexual topics, unless we're alone together and it becomes horribly blatant. I don't particularly complement them, or get intimate, or whatever it is I should be doing - I just don't know what I'm supposed to say without feeling like it's horribly obvious! We basically just end up deep in discussion about our lives or interests, and I don't know where to take it from there. More often than not, these conversations completely fizzle out, even when there's chemistry.

Please help me, reddit. I've just messed things up with a girl I really didn't want to mess things up with. I'd appreciate some kind of pointers.