I’m really upset about how my first experience pursuing a women went and I feel lead on

xxshidoshi · 2021-09-26T10:01:17+00:00

You dodged a bullet to be honest she sounds mean

jxbyte · 2021-09-26T04:27:41+00:00

Uh, she sounds like a nightmare dude. Good riddance.

Nicophoros4862 · 2021-09-26T04:24:08+00:00

It’s easy to see interest in a girl that you’re interested in. I would go with what she said to other people versus what she did in your presence. If anyone, man or woman, can’t be honest with you, they’re not worth your time.

gangweedsavedme · 2021-09-26T10:27:06+00:00

Literally just stop contacting her, be disinterested in all of your interactions, be too busy for her, she’s not worth your time bruh.

hysterical_witch · 2021-09-26T09:05:22+00:00

She is confused af herself don't take it personally I hope you recover

SignalSecurity · 2021-09-26T14:03:46+00:00

Yeah that's some abnormally two-faced bullshit. You are better off without her. It's unfair, it's okay to be upset that it was unfair. Accept the hurt, ride it out, and know that you deserve to walk away from this more than she deserves a second chance.

The trick is not to invest yourself so much into other people. I'm not saying "don't ever be vulnerable again", that's actually the most dangerous reaction to emotional hurt. But make sure to understand and acknowledge - you can walk away from anybody and anything if it hurts you. Most everything in life is replaceable. You get to dictate what is right for you, and you will always be able to find the right person for you.

That being said, this may not exactly be the best subreddit for this. It's more for navigating adult socialization than managing emotional baggage. I'm not saying that to gatekeep - I'm just worried you're going to attract the wrong kind of advice for dealing with this, or worse, listen to it. This sub has many good people but it also has

"Woah, bruh, that's gnarly, why'd you let that hole step on your balls like that? A true Alpha Male™ would have spit in her mouth from across the room for daring to make eye contact with you without permission...I'm gonna have to log this as a beta male interaction in my sex journal, sorry bro."

You really don't want to internalize John Nightgame's take on a serious relationship and the nuances of gaslighting.

You may appreciate relationshipadvice or internetparents for more consistent/focused support and critique.

obamainmypajama · 2021-09-26T13:56:58+00:00

Where I come from they say, never put your trust where women and money are involved.

You took her words literally, rookie mistake. I have chicks saying 'i love you' and I know if I fuck up tomorrow she's never gonna text back again.. it's all about how you dance! (Metaphorically speaking)

Listen to her but never take her words for what they are. Look for Patterns. One thing is true, women mostly don't lie but they beat around the bush like a mf! so you gotta keep your eyes and ears open at all times.

Sunderstood · 2021-09-26T14:14:12+00:00

She is doing something called backwards rationalizing. Girls do this all the time when they are into a guy at one point, the girl loses interest, then she convinces herself that she never really liked you to begin with. Things like telling herself that you were the one who always started the conversation, that you are just classmates, etc.

You may never find out what it is about you that made her lose interest but that's just the way the game goes.

It could also be that the person she told these things to doesn't like you, and your crush doesn't want to look bad by saying that she doesn't dislike you. It's like if you're in a group of friends and everyone is talking about how much they don't like a certain TV show, you feel inclined to go along with it and agree and come up with your own reasons why you agree with them.

PhoenixBln · 2021-09-26T10:15:06+00:00

i know it hurts. everypone's been through similar situations. yours is specially fucked up. the girl is. not you. you seem to be a caring, sensitive person who should be treated much better.

some people, men and women, play with your heart, with your emotions. you are lucky if you don't see her anymore. you will find better people and women.

scenesick2 · 2021-09-26T14:18:27+00:00

instead of chasing someone that clearly said so many bad things behind your back,
why don't you look for someone who actually likes you? It sucks but it's not the end of the world.

dodged_that_one · 2021-09-26T14:19:49+00:00

Don't play a role in her drama.

The thing about crushes is that they are not based on much actual information, but from an idealised perception of a person. Now you've seen her up close, she's not an attractive package and isn't worth your time and you should not let her influence your feelings, that's giving her power to which she is not entitled.

The best thing you can do is ignore her and move on. It doesn't matter whether she led you on or not, she's not someone you want in your life.

If you do somehow get backed into a corner and have to say something, be honest. "I did have a crush on you, but our date cured that."

RegretsNothing1 · 2021-09-26T14:21:50+00:00

Damn, she walked all over you.

YMCA111122 · 2021-09-26T14:55:32+00:00

Wow what an awful person, you definitely dodged a bullet, also it's not your fault she lied to you, that's on her.

ThatGuy_Nick9 · 2021-09-26T14:13:14+00:00

Sounds like she wanted a Juice to her Wrld. This whole thing gives me late HS/College Freshman vibes. I wouldn’t say “dramatic” but did you actually like her? She doesn’t sound like a high quality human being if you know what I mean

PrimeTone · 2021-09-26T14:21:59+00:00

She's crazy, move along. I'm sorry you went through this. There's a good reason why, as a man, you should be reserved with your true feelings. People will see your weaknesses and target them. Women want to peel back the layers of your personality, so if you go ahead and tell them your fears and desires, they lose interest pretty quick.

DO NOT try to build a relationship for your partner, trying to do and provide all the things she might want. Don't be paying for lots of dates, buying her random shit, trying to be cute and copy hollywood stereotypes, building the relationship that you think she wants, assuming that will make her love you.

DO go and work for the relationship that YOU want. Understand your own wants and desires, but do not wear your heart on your sleeve. Pursue your own goals, and be kind and enthusiastic. Positive qualities are infectious to like-minded people, and repulsive to toxic ones, because they see their own shadow in your light.

sewsaysew · 2021-09-26T05:11:50+00:00

She didn’t lead you on. You had a different idea of the relationship in your head than she did, and you’re acting like you’re entitled to a relationship with her. And you’re not. You are not entitled to anything. Literally nothing. Move on. And next time, try having a conversation instead of creating a fantasy in your head.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2021-09-26T13:04:24+00:00

Crushes are fleeting , maybe she did like you but then the attraction just went away . Happens when young

ceswk · 2021-09-26T10:19:40+00:00

My friend just man up and let it go . You shouldn't have asked for the details on what she said behind your back. You do not need to know.

You are a man, a dangerous war machine. You do not give a fuck about a girl's bitchy ways. You do your own thing, if you see she avoids you just leave her right there, go for another girl . She is just not that important .

playingandrealityxxx · 2021-09-26T14:21:47+00:00

You're simping, hard.

The most attractive thing you can do right now is cut her out and ignore her.

GuaranteeOwn5108 · 2021-09-26T04:33:04+00:00

I don’t understand why guys want serious relationships so badly…. maybe girls just want to have fun.

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2021-09-26T04:07:24+00:00

Complete lack of balls..

Specialist-Kick-1387 · 2021-09-26T09:04:42+00:00

Since when are playmates falling out a "field report?"

DylanFiglewicz · 2021-09-26T14:33:15+00:00

Sounds like severe mental illness and game playing to me. Like delusional bi polar self agrandizing narcissistic all thrown together with a schizo. That ain't a human it's 17 bottles of pills she ain't taking lmao.

Dcm210 · 2021-09-26T11:28:09+00:00

If you can just block her number, social and etc.

jestercake · 2021-09-26T13:53:21+00:00

Move on, man. People do and say things for a variety of reasons, but the point is you won't be dating her. Not should you want to anymore at this point. Just move on. You'll find someone you click with soon enough. I would advise you not to get in touch with her again. Unless she gets in touch, then just be polite like you would be to anyone. Also resist the urge to be nasty to her about the things she said. It won't get you anywhere good. It will only put you in a negative mindset and it could also help her paint you in a bad light towards other people. Just see this as a learning experience and go forth into the world with more experience.

confidence_man91 · 2021-09-26T17:30:49+00:00

dam buddy, I feel for you. that shit must really hurt doesn't it? when you like a girl that much and she does something like friendone you or talk shit behind your back it can really feel like she's twisting the knife. There's 2 possibilities here that i think

she's using you-she needs something out of you, it could turn out to be the pettiest thing ever like just stringing you along so she could have a pet guy she can WHINE too about her depression and shit .or it could be she wants a little money from you sometimes in the form of free food.

she does like you but is embarrassed to have her friends find out- before you start hoping that this is the case you need to realize how over it is for your chances anyway.

youve got to be really geeky or retarded looking for her to not want her friends to find out that she likes you.

TheSunshineMan · 2021-09-26T18:36:32+00:00

Stop dwelling on this..

The cure?

Go talk to 20 more girls..

Title	I’m really upset about how my first experience pursuing a women went and I feel lead on
Author	YamiYugi23
Upvotes	51
Comments	55
Date	September 26, 2021 4:02 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pvmevw/im_really_upset_about_how_my_first_experience/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-really-upset-about-how-my-first-experience.1275525 https://theredarchive.com/post/1275525

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