Is getting dates/hooking up supposed to be easy?

Ploikblah · 2019-09-12T13:30:40+00:00

Don't look at it like an interaction that will lead to sex. Just look at it as an interaction with another human that is very different than you. That is the definition of leaving your comfort zone. Enjoy those moment with this new stranger you may never talk to again, go on a intellectual journey with them, and have fun with them. Don't be too eager to stay, but don't be eager to leave the moment either. Just flow with them, follow them and they will lead you where you need to be.

The best advice I ever got for these scenarios is that they don't want to see you fail. Women have men fail in front of them over and over all the time - they're rooting for you to win! Embrace that knowledge, sit back, and watch them work. Understand what value you bring to them, and let them prove to you their worthy - this means you have to be present and attentive. Embrace the fact that they're different than you, and learn why - you can never learn by talking, only listening. It's not that difficult if you just plant a seed and let them do all the talking and thinking. You're just their to guide the convo making sure to keep it lighthearted, and to not overextend it. You'll hear often to get in, get the number, and get out. Don't take that too seriously and just dip out cold once you get her number. But do go on the journey with her, keep the convo light, and when you feel it fizzling, hit her with the, "I'm meeting my friend at X in a little, It was great talking with you." Then dip. Then later on after she spends the afternoon thinking about you, shoot a text, flirt a little, and set up a date. Definitely don't text more than you talked in person.

tonblaz · 2019-09-12T10:02:19+00:00

It's not 'supposed' to be hard or easy, it really depends on the person and the context. What you should know however is no matter how hard you think it is right now, if you put in the work, it'll get easier

Be consistent on becoming a better man and socializing, and before you know it you'll find it way easier

Paltenburg · 2019-09-12T10:18:54+00:00

How comfortable are you with talking to strangers in general? For ex., I liked to go to couchsurfing events, and the nice thing is that you get comfortable with people who you've only just met. Imo that's the first step towards talking to women as well: that you can have a 30min. conversation where she gets a good relaxed comfortable vibe from you.

smoothmax · 2019-09-12T14:17:10+00:00

Go to square one of learning how to date and seduce women and start from there. Even the guys who aren't virgins, who've already dated lots of women, had girlfriends and been married, have to go back to square one when they hit a wall and feel dissatisfied.

It's neither easy nor hard, it's a process.

The measuring stick isn't what other guys are doing or how easy they supposedly find it. What you want is to know that every month during the process you're a little bit smarter, better looking, confident and happier than you were the month before.

Packie1990 · 2019-09-12T23:35:48+00:00

Your problem is you dont know how to talk to women. Ive read your other replies. If they give one word answers and walk away it means they are bored. You can talk to men because we enjoy talking about subjects women find boring. Biggest example is talking about work. One of the first things that comes up in any interaction with a man. Not something you should talk about women. You need to be in the moment when you talk with them and keep it playful. Make jokes and tease them. Dont overinvest in the interaction. neediness is a huge turn off. Body language is very important as women naturally communicate using it. It can be easy

Wkkc2018 · 2019-09-13T03:13:17+00:00

I was a virgin until I was 21 so I can sympathize. My advice to you would be that dating women is a numbers game. You can’t talk to 1 or 2 women and expect things to happen. You may have to talk to 10, 20, or 100 before you get a date or hook up especially since you haven’t gotten any women yet. Men who are good with women only get dates and hook up with only between 3 or 4 women out of 10. Unless you are a celebrity you will always experience more rejection than dates and hook ups. I would advise you to look at some dating coaches on YouTube my suggestions are Johnny Berba, James Tusk, Hailey Quinn , and the Natural Lifestyles. They are all from England and I’m from the United States , but I find most dating coaches from the US to be sexist. Take any dating coach with a grain of salt. I wish you the best of luck.

anonymous478569 · 2019-09-12T11:36:23+00:00

Watch "thesingleguy" on youtube. He got great tips. Take it with a grain of salt of course. The truth is that you have to be in a position of true power to get laid a lot. If you dont have any power, then most women will not find any use of you. Yes, it is this brutal. We all use each other. Thats what animals do. If you are of no use, then no pussy for you. And your genetic setup will not go any further. Maybe not that extreme but have a job and go out. Do stuff. Go where girls are and just talk to them. But honestly I dont know how you look.. girls dont like manly men, while men do. Oh man.. men LOVE other men who are men. When ever I get skinnier, women love me but men hate me and pushes me around. And when ever im just normal me, men dont mind me and they respect me while women despice me. So its a so and so.

MarinaEli · 2019-09-12T17:12:02+00:00

It could honestly just be a race thing? I’m not like this, but not everyone is comfortable dating outside of their race. Or dating someone that isn’t white presenting. Even Asian girls end up with white guys a lot of the time. We honestly really can’t help what we’re attracted to, politically correct or not.

Are you approaching Indian girls when you go out? Maybe try that.

ImmediateDisaster6 · 2019-09-12T16:54:57+00:00

getting a degree and well paying job

This is basically slavery to the system, man. If that's your idea of success then you just end up with a gold digger who whored it up all her life then looked for suckers when she turned 30 and her looks ran out.

Title	Is getting dates/hooking up supposed to be easy?
Author	Ploikblah
Upvotes	28
Comments	48
Date	September 12, 2019 9:50 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/d35kcw/is_getting_dateshooking_up_supposed_to_be_easy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-getting-dateshooking-up-supposed-to-be-easy.1478422 https://theredarchive.com/post/1478422

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