Is it unmanly to try to avoid confrontation?

ThrowawayPUA · 2016-02-06T16:38:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ThrowawayPUA · 2016-02-06T16:22:41+00:00

derkonigistnackt · 2016-02-06T18:02:45+00:00

Its unmanly to lose your cool. If someone gets on your face you deal with it,... You dont swing, you dont scream,... You put your best pocker face and as calm and collected as you possibly can you deal with it.

pacg · 2016-02-06T21:20:45+00:00

The art of fighting without fighting

http://youtu.be/o_Ycw0d_Uow

notafishtoday · 2016-02-06T17:23:04+00:00

Context is nice.

Something trivial, nah don't bother.

Something that threatens you and the people you love, yes stand up for yourself.

Don't go looking for confrontation but if it comes your way deal with it.

From 'The Red Queen':

Girls look for strong character. The main traits the like are:

Poise

Self assurance

Efficiency

Perseverance

Courage

Decisiveness

Intelligence

Ambition

If you strongly challenged in any of these areas it's more attractive for you to fight. But that's very much context based.

DaygameCoach · 2016-02-06T17:11:15+00:00

It depends of the confrontation is necessary or not. You do need to have a backbone and stand up for yourself when needed and if with one, the woman needs to feel protected.

Are we talking about verbal confrontation? Physical? Are you being AMOG'd? Give us examples.

Fallio · 2016-02-06T18:46:04+00:00

I hope that I don't get skewered for saying this, but yes, my opinion is that it's unmanly to avoid confrontation in certain contexts. If a confrontation is really not worth your time and you could be doing better things by subtly getting out of it then that's the best choice to make in that situation. If this confrontation is something that could challenge you and be beneficial to your growth as a human being, then yes, I believe it would be unmanly to avoid confrontation in this situation.

It's all about doing what's right for you. If you avoid confrontation just for the sake of avoiding it then there will be opportunities for growth that you'll pass up on.

Soender · 2016-02-06T16:42:31+00:00

I disagree. You should stand up to your values, not to the point of offending them onto others but definitely never allow anybody infringing your own self worth and ideals. It will create more conflict, but afterwards you will be proud to have stood up to what you believe in.

bajosmoove · 2016-02-06T17:15:46+00:00

I used to be extremely confrontational because I was bullied a lot as a kid and I guess I was overcompensating for that. Now I largely ignore verbal remarks and only get hype when my sister or myself are threatened. I'm not 18 yet so I can throw hands until then, but now I'm only doing that if necessary.

tarlack · 2016-02-06T17:43:46+00:00

Conflict is great, just know how to make sure it never gets to violence. This is for men, in all my years I have never lost a girl or needed to get into a fight.

If it is a girl I encourage standing up for a view or challenging her on stuff. Just do it in a grownup way like a debate, girls love when you stand up for what you believe. The flip side is it is even cooler if you listen and can reason your position.

I_AM_ALWAYS_ANGRY · 2016-02-06T18:04:01+00:00

It all depends, but as a general rule, don't let people walk over you.

actuallybigfoot · 2016-02-06T19:12:12+00:00

Everything I've read in the comments is completely accurate. I'm a big enough guy, a bit over six feet tall. I've fought in self defense once, and came out unscathed. The only time I've ever wanted to go out of my way to collect some teeth was when I was on a pubic toilet and three guys kicked in the door while I popped a squat for a good laugh. Obviously I couldn't have, because I was wiping. So the moral of the story is unless somebody is intruding on your crapper or you're in serious trouble don't go out of your way to get in a scrap.

Drunk_Sensai · 2016-02-06T20:08:41+00:00

Check out a book called No More Mr Nice Guy. If your avoiding conflict because of ill defined bounderied then yes its very "unmanly". But thats not to say you should throw a fit everytime some one wrongs you. Its all about having a healthy balance and assessing a situation to determine its cost/benifit ratio. But finding that out relies heavily on what your princilples and boundaries are. Its those two traits that fundemnetally make you some one who is considered a "man" and some one who is considered a "boy"

dejour · 2016-02-06T21:30:36+00:00

It's unadultlike not to stand up for yourself if something is bothering you.

It doesn't mean you have to be violent or loud or aggressive though.

You can confront someone, and come to a fair and amicable resolution through discussion. On occasion, you might even end up conceding that the other person had a legitimate reason for doing what they were doing.

But I think it's unadultlike to be angry about something and stew about it without discussing it.

AttractandSeduce · 2016-02-06T21:45:58+00:00

It's not always a yes or no answer. Sometimes it's good to make fun of the situation which can include exaggerating, a mog a guy or even tease yourself more then the person just did.

Sometimes it's good to just ignore the other person or even give them a warning to back away because you are there to just have fun or enjoy yourself.

Sometimes it's good to prove the other person wrong in a none reacting way or without losing your temper.

I'm sure you know that every situation is different and each situation may be approached slightly different.

My first go to is to exaggerate, make the situation light and be none reacting. Works well.

Electricshephard · 2016-02-07T01:53:44+00:00

Define manly and unmanly. And the context of the confrontation, as well as what it is about. And who you are confronting.

However, in any scenario trying to avoid an inevitable confrontation is counterproductive and openly looking for one is just not efficient.

And you must know yourself and what makes you feel ok with yourself in order to make a good decision.

Too many variables are not declared, so a good answer cannot be given ...

Personal experience though: I'm not a giant, neither particularly buffed. I was never involved in confrontations involving knives nor have I gotten into a fight were anyone was injured or so. But I never got into a confrontation that didn't leave the counterpart rethinking their life choices. In part because of my appearance I guess. I mean, it's quite unsettling how everybody I talk to remembers me even after years and years. Like seriously WTF. And no, I don't have any enormous deformity in my face.

Unfortunately, in middle school I've learnt how to deeply traumatize someone with just the right, tight combination of words. And I know how to punch someone. But to be honest, I'm afraid of hurting somebody.

I hope it to be a somehow useful comment :)

Title	Is it unmanly to try to avoid confrontation?
Author	rdx1995
Upvotes	9
Comments	28
Date	February 6, 2016 3:54 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/44gpt8/is_it_unmanly_to_try_to_avoid_confrontation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-unmanly-to-try-to-avoid-confrontation.1402016 https://theredarchive.com/post/1402016

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