Is it weird to get number and ask out without basically any rapport building or small talk?

EntertainmentTime141 · 2025-09-29T16:03:08+00:00

It is not odd to do this at all. Girls are either warm, neutral, or cold. Your goal is to weed out the cold ones, and to turn neutral to warm.

Brief texting is good, but your interaction on the open needs to be good enough to where it seems natural that you don't need to talk that much more over text and she WANTS to go out with you on the same day / next few days.

"Hey, I am free the next 2 days and we definitely need to (insert callback joke here). I know a coffee spot at X, but you can only come if (insert light tease about something that happened, lets say that she spilled a drink on her and you approached based on that) your shoes are clean now :)"

This keeps it light-hearted, flirty, and also you are making her qualify herself AND you give several threads to keep the conversation going.

A stronger opening = less texting needed. Remember, THERE IS NO REAL EMOTION OVER TEXT. That is why you get over texting ASAP.

Rhino3750ss · 2025-09-29T16:06:53+00:00

In my experience, the more detached you are, the more the girl shows interest and tries to close the gap. Too much communication too early can spoil the mystery for the girl. Skip the small talk and connecting or at least minimize the exchange of information to the bare basics..and see if she wants to go out, she already knows what you want regardless so get straight to the point to get your answers.

scienceofselfhelp · 2025-09-29T16:03:40+00:00

Yes, otherwise the chances for a flake are high.

And it's not just rapport. Nicknames, future projection, possible dates or interesting things you plan on doing or that she's interested in, open loops in discussions - all of these bridge the gap between the state they're in when they meet you and the decaying interest that happens between then and when you text.

Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-09-29T16:40:16+00:00

Yes that's fine. I typically do the same. You only need a minute or so to gauge if she's into you or not. No need to have a 15 min convo of small talk. Hey I think you're pretty and would love to get to know you better. Let's grab a drink sometime. Can I have your number?

Not that complicated really.

TuxedoPinata · 2025-09-29T16:29:21+00:00

You left an important detail out: does this work for you?

0ggles · 2025-09-30T02:16:09+00:00

Unless you are super good looking, no this will not work 80% of the time.

GG_Sebastian · 2025-09-30T16:08:34+00:00

No it’s not weird. Building rapport does not equal attraction, those are two completely different things. If shes already attracted to you without rapport building then there’s no need to emphasize or push for rapport building.

Affectionate_Boss657 · 2025-09-29T15:52:10+00:00

Same question?

AlastairXXL · 2025-09-29T16:10:13+00:00

No as she is either interested or she isn't, I would explain though why you are asking for her number

Charge36 · 2025-09-29T16:47:49+00:00

Weird is kind of a meaningless word here. Maybe some think it's weird, maybe some doing.

Personally I think this would be a really ineffective way to meet people. You might get contact info but you haven't established any reason for them to communicate with you.

Perspective777x · 2025-09-29T16:59:33+00:00

I call instead of text. It's always way better to have a 5-15 minute interaction. If you just go for the number because you have no other option its better to shoot your shot.

TMGP19 · 2025-09-29T17:57:38+00:00

Her receptiveness during the cold approach is independent of whether or not shell go on a date and so forth. Some standoffish and neutral will go on to have sex with you. Some very receptive and positive approaches go on the ghost you. My interactions are less than 2 minutes most days. Some of which only last 30-45 seconds. Rapport building is a waste of time if you do high volume approaches.

LeatherDonkey3806 · 2025-09-29T20:58:04+00:00

I dont think its weird but unless you are really attractive, its tough to convert a number into a date without much conversation. Especially if the girl is really pretty, she probably has plenty of options with guys that she HAS talked to/texted with longer than you, so whats gonna make her choose to give you a chance? Even if you are really funny, if its only for 30 seconds, its a forgettable interaction. The more rapport you can build, the better

Shoddy-Lingonberry-4 · 2025-09-30T00:37:18+00:00

If she's into you, go for it. Doesn't take long

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-09-30T02:37:42+00:00

Ymmv. I prefer more basic conversation before a first date. At least a five minute phone call before the first date usually is a pretty good sweetspot.

I no longer do online dating/apps, but I might up the conversation time in that scenario before the first date as there's been no previous human interaction beyond texting, which doesn't really count.

Kierenbrowncoach · 2025-09-30T09:50:13+00:00

It’s not weird, but it is risky. Think of it like trying to deadlift your max without a warm-up. Sometimes it works, sometimes you pull a muscle. When you walk up, introduce yourself, and grab the number without any real vibe or banter, you’re relying purely on your appearance and that first jolt of confidence. That can land you a yes, but it rarely builds the excitement that makes her actually show up when you text later.

Women aren’t logical decision makers in attraction. They don’t give out numbers because you ticked off the “asked politely” box. They give out numbers when they feel something, curiosity, laughter, intrigue, sexual tension. If you skip small talk completely, you’re skipping the spark that makes her look forward to hearing from you. That’s why so many numbers collected this way turn into ghost town real quick.

Now, you don’t need to turn every approach into a five-minute TED Talk. But a little roleplay, teasing, or playful observation can flip you from “random stranger” to “interesting guy she’d like to see again.” That doesn’t take long. Thirty seconds of energy is often better than three minutes of boring interview questions.

Bottom line: you can get numbers fast, but if you want them to mean something, inject at least a sliver of personality first. Otherwise, you’re just another line in her phone she forgets about by dinner. Lead, flirt, tease, then close. That’s how you make it stick.

Alarmed_Box1198 · 2025-10-03T17:46:21+00:00

I think you'll get a lot further having some small talk first. If you basically establish common interests you can seamlessly move into "we should exchange numbers and go have fun sometime. At the end of the day, girls really do just want to have fun.

randoboterrr · 2025-09-29T15:56:39+00:00

Not sure what you are saying I guess

Title	Is it weird to get number and ask out without basically any rapport building or small talk?
Author	randoboterrr
Upvotes	15
Comments	34
Date	September 29, 2025 3:49 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ntln7f/is_it_weird_to_get_number_and_ask_out_without/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-weird-to-get-number-and-ask-out-without.1563101 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563101

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