Meaningless in getting girls

DrinksAreOnTheHouse · 2022-08-02T18:46:10+00:00

This hits hard and is one of the most mature questions I've seen in while. I'm been taking my screening one-step further. When I approach a girl in reality or virtually, I really ask myself "do I see a true future" Do I want to spend my limited precious time with this person? In my gut, it it is no, then move on. Don't waste her or your time.

Start searching for the values you want, not something superficial.

kathruins · 2022-08-02T19:37:35+00:00

you stop trying to pick up women and start dating. get to know their values, desires, and hobbies. you'll start to notice the things you like and dislike after getting to know several women.

anon302030 · 2022-08-02T15:42:52+00:00

Yeah man I feel this. What’s starting to work for me is to simply date a lot of women, which has taught me what I like and do not like in a partner.

Let me give you an analogy: think about your favorite genre of music. You weren’t born knowing that you’d like this genre, you figured it out by listening to a ton of music. You heard music that you liked and other tracks that you didn’t, but you only figured this out by listening in the first place. It’s the same thing with girls; as you date and get to know more women, you start to develop your taste and better understand your wants and needs.

Why I do currently is reserve Wednesday and Thursday evenings to go out with women that I think have potential, and the weekends for going out with the boys, having a good time, and chatting up new women, some of whom I’ll end up going out with the next week. A lot of those women won’t pan out because either she or I isn’t interested. Others will become FWB. The goal is for one to be someone that I’m really into, and when I find her, I’m ready because I’ve worked on my dating skills with all of the other women. As a bonus you’ll also be way less needy/ more attractive because you have lots of options, and women are really good at sensing that

red__what · 2022-08-02T13:56:00+00:00

As a dating veteran over 3 continents with scars to prove, the most difficult thing to achieve with the opposite sex is a lasting (decade+) relationship/marriage.

Hookup, FWB even monogamous relationships under a year are a cakewalk.

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2022-08-02T19:41:52+00:00

You've found a name for the Holy Grail. This is the ultimate goal.

Everything else is a waste of your time; all dudes' time.

Seek mental connection. It is better than sex. It's like finding a diamond in a sea of glass.

mrbO-Ot · 2022-08-02T14:09:07+00:00

You say that you don't know what to look for in a woman.

Well....... what do look for in yourself?

Can you genuinely and confidently answer that question? If yes, well then tell us what do you look for? If not, why don't you know it?

Sounds like you need to work on yourself first.

cobraCL · 2022-08-02T20:47:40+00:00

How well do you know yourself?

Write down your top 10 personal values. (E.g. Happiness, Integrity, Health, Humility, Ambition, Power, Love, Spirituality, the list goes on.)

Next, for each value, write down:

How you define that value and why it is important to you.
10 positive practical examples of how to perform that value in everyday life.
10 behaviours that are the opposite of that value.

Don't underestimate how illuminating this activity is. Once you know exactly what you stand for, you are able to select better partners, notice and cherish their good traits more, as well as screen and remove partners that do not align with your values.

In a romantic context, be sure to include Love as a personal value for you to explore. If you know what love is and what love isn't (in practical example forms), your outlook on women and yourself as a romantic partner will change.

Khower · 2022-08-03T05:53:53+00:00

I had this issue for years, I finally could get girls consistently and I sat single for 5 years churning through short term flings before meeting my person.

Here's my best piece of advice: your relationship with others is a reflection of your relationship with yourself.

If you're finding yourself in the position where you're unable to build a connection with someone. First build a connection with yourself and get a true idea of what you want in a partner. Then you will have an idea of who you need to be to worth thay person and you will work on yourself. Once you have those narrowed down they will find you if you spend enough time exuding that behavior.

Medical_ootter · 2022-08-02T15:49:01+00:00

Well, I have the same problem, actually. I always give a good first impression and I can get a date whenever I want. I had social anxiety all my life, but now I'm over it. Or so I think.

The problem is after that. I can even get a second, third, forth date with a girl. But it goes nowhere. I get bored. She gets bored. I don't know what to do. And the relationship dies.

I even had a girl stalking me and after some time together we both got bored, lol.

I don't know if is the same for you, but it's strange. I thought it's because of my apathy and depression. But I don't know. I should be over that stuff, too. But I'm still working on it.

Why am I even approaching? What do I want from that girl I'm approaching? Go over my fears? Have some fun? And then? After that? I feel like I can't get in love, anymore. Like girls are all the same. Do I want that girl or the idea of a girl, a relationship, to prove I am ok enough to get a girl? Why do I even need a girl for?

VNF420 · 2022-08-02T23:05:13+00:00

I cant even get one girl bro

anon302030 · 2022-08-02T13:10:48+00:00

[permanently deleted]

quiet160 · 2022-08-02T18:43:36+00:00

I agree with you. Building a connection is really hard. I'm 29 now and lost my virginity at 23. I've slept with 29 women now in such a short period of time but can honestly say none of those people I had anything in common with other than we slept together. Can be frustrating at times but right now I've decided to give dating a break for a year and just focus on my career and getting back to the gym. I'm also trying new food places and getting out more instead of relying on online dating and so far I'm pretty happy.

tdroylshy · 2022-08-02T21:40:12+00:00

My brother in Christ, welcome to the struggle, we've saved you a seat. It doesn't get easier or better.

Sup3rHD · 2022-08-03T02:53:52+00:00

The number of quality girls is low. Modern women are not good enough for a relationship. They fuck around all the time

Amuser264 · 2022-08-02T22:15:18+00:00

Look into what your attachment style is. It might help.

You're right, for the most part, the hard part is behind you. be patient with this time and use it to learn what you don't like. Rejecting what you don't want will sooner or later get you to someone you do want. Date and wait. Someone worth it in your view should eventually come along.

Getting girls is meaningless. Getting with someone awesome and having a long term awesome experience with them is everything.

Lucky-Boat5361 · 2022-08-03T02:15:48+00:00

For me, the one that really wasn’t your normal type or look but acts right and treats you right and shows she wants you.. learning to love her is the relationship. I’ve ran through dimes, hookups, and nice girls it’s just “cool”. Challenge yourself

timimax · 2022-08-03T02:17:09+00:00

I am glad someone is speaking what I think would happen to me. I am starting the game but the main purpose is to experience how it feels to date and have sex with different women. My feeling is: I will learn more about what I offer/want both in relationship and sex.

Would you say that’s a waste of time ?

Leo7S · 2022-08-03T03:49:24+00:00

I honestly find meaning in getting the next good interaction with a girl and talk to know her a bit and move on. I don't really like to stay with a girl, (but they don't want to stay with me either) or a guy either

incognito3107 · 2022-08-03T07:48:47+00:00

Maybe you are overestimating the value of man-woman relation? We're not so similar as it comes to interests and life viewpoints most of the time. We are created to support each other, spend a time together, get pleasure and bring up new generation. If you both really like each other, spend much time together and have lots of sex, you will slowly acquire each other's traits and become more united. But it would be pretty troublesome to find a girl that will really match your character on the initial contact.

Few_Sheepherder9554 · 2022-08-03T08:55:23+00:00

Can anyone please provide mega link for street attraction approach to lay

ZacCoxTV · 2022-08-03T20:12:09+00:00

You attract what you are. Some of the feelings in yourself that are triggered by an outside source are a house of mirrors into areas of your life that need work. After focusing on that, you will be rewarded with a new relationship that fits you. Because you attract what you are.

Title	Meaningless in getting girls
Author	wedonthaveapulse
Upvotes	126
Comments	58
Date	August 2, 2022 12:47 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/weasrv/meaningless_in_getting_girls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/meaningless-in-getting-girls.1253005 https://theredarchive.com/post/1253005

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