My slef-esteem is so low that I can barely make any friends, let alone get laid. I don't know what to do anymore.

newyork20lives · 2012-03-08T22:45:46+00:00

Seduction isn't going to be able to help you here. Your problem far transcends the realm of seducing ladies. A cornerstone of seduction is self-improvement.

You're in what sounds like a serious state of self-neglect, because you've convinced yourself that your self-worth is near absolute zero.

Can you pull yourself out of this? Immerse in hobbies, start going to the gym again (if time's an issue, I have a great 3 day a week workout plan, takes less than an hour and a half), and do things that make you enjoy life?

If you can't pull yourself out of this, then yes you need help. See a counsellor. Are you a college student? If you are, seek it immediately. Seriously, something like over 80% of college students go for therapy at least once. There's no shame in admitting that you need a helping hand to get back up; in fact, it shows that you truly value your own health and life more than something superficial like pride.

First, get your life back on track. Once you're back to your awesome self, we'll talk seduction.

g1h2 · 2012-03-08T22:58:14+00:00

You have what I used to have. I was far too polite and became a doormat and constantly agreed with everyone so as not to cause friction. What helped me most was just speaking my mind and constantly telling myself that I should live for myself rather than for other peoples amusement.

SedditThrowaway90 · 2012-03-08T23:51:50+00:00

Check out the seddit locator in the sidebar. If you're near me, I'll hang out with you.

SedditThrowaway90 · 2012-03-08T23:40:45+00:00

I'm the loner type as well, I understand how you feel. Start working out, it will do wonders for confidence. The motivation to make yourself a better person and have a better life has to be INTERNAL MOTIVATION. If you feel like you hit rock-bottom, the only way to go is up.

hielios_the_elephant · 2012-03-09T00:37:10+00:00

i went through a period like that as well in college. what helped me was to develop other hobbies (i learned to cook) and make a real effort to be more outgoing. the worst thing you can do now is to disengage from the world: that will cause depression. It will take time to get past this - if someone here offers a solution that they say will work by monday you are being misled

Ucayali · 2012-03-08T23:16:59+00:00

Start taking small steps. Think about something you've been interested in for a while or something you wanted to do as a kid and never got to do.

Then check for organizations or clubs in your area that have some sort of resemblance to something you are interested in. Then just go to a meeting, you don't even have to talk to anyone at first. Doing something that you enjoy will make you happier and you can build interactions there with people who also enjoy the same activity.

That first step out of your habits will be difficult but once you put that little bit of effort it will make other things in the future much easier.

Night-watcher · 2012-03-08T23:22:41+00:00

You will start to like yourself, if you start to change things around you the way you want.

metshower · 2012-03-09T01:24:08+00:00

I think everyone can relate at least a little to what you're talking about.

If you genuinely want to change, then don't wait another second.

Hit the gym.

Delete facebook.

Reddit only X hours a day.

Throw yourself into hobbies. These will make you more interesting. BUT, only do hobbies that actually interest you.

Read some of the material around the place, 'How to win friends' etc.

Keep us posted on your progress.

healxph0enix · 2012-03-09T02:33:37+00:00

Work on yourslef. Therapy is a good choice, but keep in mind it is their to help you. You got to take the action yourslef

If you see the right side, there are tons of information on slef-improvement. You can search them on google and get lots of info. The information you get is a great help, but remember to actually do it. Baby steps. Do what you can handle.

Can't say hi? work on that. Too hard? Work on waving instead.

Slef.

mileshigh_23 · 2012-03-09T06:11:47+00:00

Read "Feeling Good" by David Burns. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is incredibly powerful and effective. It's helped me immensely in game, PUA, and staying chill. It's also very effective in helping developing confidence. The concept behind CBT is essentially this: all your shitty moods are ultimately caused by the thoughts and beliefs in your head. When you closely examine those thoughts and replace them with more realistic thoughts, your anxiety/depression/shittiness will dissipate.

PS: Not sure if "anxiety" is up your alley, but I just got done with David Burn's "When Panic Attacks." Dorky title, excellent content for changing attitudes that cause depression, anxiety, and speed bumps to success.

2012-03-09T07:02:34+00:00

Seek therapy.
get in shape if your not already.
get a hobby. Something you actually enjoy not something you think other people will like about you. For me this was running which handles 2 and 3. I feel great after a 12 mile run proud of myself. and i place alot of self value in the fact i can run a distance most people consider insane almost daily.
Every time you can, make an excuse to get out of the house and talk to anyone in malls, stores, bars, parks, all night dinners it doesn't matter go meet strangers and have conversations.

Do this for a few months see how you feel. Stay strong.

2012-03-09T08:41:12+00:00

This is what you should do: stop charging your phone and your computer. Let them die. Stop watching your TV, and let it sit there like a decorative piece of furniture. Eliminate those electronic things that you depend on for brain stimulation.

Next, get a notepad. This is a means of communication for yourself. If you have an idea, write it down. If you have a strong emotion, write it down. Delightful thought? Write it down. This notebook will become your stream of consciousness.

Set up a mirror in your bedroom, the bigger the better. Start spending more and more time looking at yourself and reflecting upon your life and your notebook. Start thinking about the things that you want to study, the things that you want to practice, the things you want to do, and the person you want to be. Write all this shit down.

The beginning of your self improvement begins when you notice yourself becoming satisfied with your own reflection. This will only happen after plenty of reflection and insight. Trust your mind and your ideas, even if they are bad, because they are yours.

Escaping the whirlpool of depression is the hardest thing i have ever done, and it is the best thing i have ever done for myself. I'm never going back, and neither will you.

2012-03-09T15:15:08+00:00

Honestly you just need to learn how to exit your comfort zone. Eveyday do something you normally wouldn't it may be small saying goodbye to a cashier at the store or smiling at a lady on the street. Those are the types of little things that can build confidence within yourself and in time you'll find yourself ready for things like working out and ultimately figuring out exactly who/what you want in life.

TheySeeMeComing · 2012-03-10T06:20:13+00:00

read carnegie how to win friends and influence people.

kojopolis · 2012-03-08T22:30:02+00:00

Power of now

Title	My slef-esteem is so low that I can barely make any friends, let alone get laid. I don't know what to do anymore.
Author	SedditThrowaway90
Upvotes	7
Comments	29
Date	March 8, 2012 10:02 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qnxdj/my_slefesteem_is_so_low_that_i_can_barely_make/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-slef-esteem-is-so-low-that-i-can-barely-make.1329530 https://theredarchive.com/post/1329530

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