Opening by acknowledging one's anxiety: bad move?

sedditgirl · 2010-12-21T07:07:54+00:00

I would recommend that you do not acknowledge your anxiety as a rule.

Of course I think it depends on the girl you are trying to pick up. It's a little difficult to explain, but if she is a cute girl who seems very sweet and maybe doesn't get approached that often then maybe she could relate, and it makes it possible for you guys to connect.

If you are talking to a girl who is definitely attractive and seems confident and at ease, then it won't help for you to say you feel anxious. Why is this a bad idea?--well, in a way, you are putting the burden on her. You are saying to her "I feel anxious, approaching you was a big deal, you should make me feel comfortable." A girl who has experienced these feelings before might be fine with that and might like taking a little care of you psychologically. That might be fine if you are a total beginner. But most attractive girls will just feel frustrated.

Schattenherz · 2010-12-21T08:56:43+00:00

bad move. sarge until you have no more AA. admitting to being nervous, or showing that nervousness is showing her that she is higher value than you. will get you blown out extremely fast with an hb 8 or higher.

the-breeze · 2010-12-21T08:16:55+00:00

Your first conversation is going to be about how you're nervous to even speak to her? Out of all the things in the universe to choose to talk about why would you go with that?

This makes you focus even more on how nervous you are. You know when you're able to stop being nervous in nearly any situation? When you can focus on whatever task you're doing instead of your own emotions. Putting them under a giant spotlight will have the opposite effect.

You want to seem confident even if you're not. Don't go shooting yourself in the foot right out of the gate.

libertas · 2010-12-21T10:05:29+00:00

If you are going to get rid of your anxiety, you have to learn not to fear it. Acknowledging it to a stranger is one way to face it. Feel it out instead of running away from it. Experience it. And know that it is not you, it is just a feeling. In the course of your life, this one interaction is completely non-important. Self-recrimination is the worst thing you can do.

Faking it till you make it is good too, as long as it does't involve self-deception, escapism, or numbing out.

LOLJBF · 2010-12-21T11:19:44+00:00

I've done the old "im getting over my fear of girls, can you reject me ?" before. Obviously it was just a bit of fun, and was a step in the right direction of doing things properly.

2010-12-21T15:19:03+00:00

To everybody who says this couldn't work, I generally agree with you.

But Woody Allen could pull it off.

2010-12-21T16:44:06+00:00

If you admit your anxiety, it becomes pretty hard to "fake it until you make it."

MrRisky · 2010-12-21T08:27:15+00:00

if you open a woman and you look/feel anxious, you should... admit that

There is some truth to this, but you should remember, the ultimate goal is to seem confident. Most communication is non-verbal. Practice enough that approach anxiety doesn't make you lock up and you can mimic alpha body language.

I guess if you have anxiety and poor body language, then admitting it could prevent you from appearing incongruous. It may get you enough sympathy to keep from getting blown out, but you're shortchanging yourself in the long run.

frogma · 2010-12-21T14:33:42+00:00

The only way this would work is if she's really into you and doesn't care. Of course, you'll never know when that's the case, so don't try it. The other situation where I can see this working is if you're a super confident guy who tells her you're nervous to be talking to her, and then you immediately become super confident.

If you're confident in the first place, this will never be an issue. If you're not confident, it's one of the worst things you can talk about.

afcanonymous · 2010-12-21T16:58:20+00:00

So, you're pulling a direct approach? You're making your intentions clear, but your asking her to make you feel comfortable? Think about what you're trying to convey when you open. Yo're better off nervously telling her that you had to come say hi than telling her how scared you are of rejection.

Title	Opening by acknowledging one's anxiety: bad move?
Author	IcarusLives
Upvotes	4
Comments	14
Date	December 21, 2010 6:42 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ep72j/opening_by_acknowledging_ones_anxiety_bad_move/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/opening-by-acknowledging-ones-anxiety-bad-move.1313825 https://theredarchive.com/post/1313825

Comments