I've got #closing on lockdown, but a lot of great women are flaky as hell with me, I can tell they're always weighing their options and don't want to commit to giving me a day. They never give up the "power position" in a dynamic so that if we engage them, we are always chasing/qualifying and in a subservient position so that even when I get the day 2, she's not properly valuing what I bring to the table.

Found this out on accident when I had an afternoon leaf peeping date setup with a real gem 2 weeks ago and totally forgot about it because I had to work late. Because I'm always hustlin, she fell through the cracks and I didn't give it a second thought until a full week after the date was supposed to happen when she reengaged me. Though she wouldn't admit it, I swear forgetting about her was like planting a time bomb in her brain. In no time she was qualifying to me, trying to DHV about how many guys are trying to get with her and how valuable her time is and you get the picture. I apologized but was in a pissy mood and texted "Since you're so great and I'm so busy, you should probably bother one of your other supposed suitors ;)" She ended up asking me out in her response and she's been a sweetheart since. I think it was a mixture of push/pull, outcome independence, and the neg that put it over the top. Now I'm in the driver's seat and we're dating proper because our social dynamic is even.

When that happened I decided to run an experiment, as I had 2 more dates setup that weekend, one with an acquaintance and the other from cold approach. Ended up going dark on those 2 women because gem and I went to a winery that weekend and let the world melt away. Acquaintance took 4 days to reopen communication. She sent "Forget about me asshole?" (I've never even seen your asshole!) and cold approach just responded today, a full 12 days later, "You owe me dinner!" (Who is this?) Acquaintance and I got together the next day and now Cold Approach is coming over tonight to cook me dinner lol.

It's like they're initially annoyed that you ditched them, and then when you don't get back to them, it becomes clearer to them that you not only flaked, apparently you forgot, which is way more offensive. Their ego can't take it when they reopen with a shit test, essentially saying, "nobody puts Baby in the corner!" and I respond by figuratively saying, "sorry for putting Baby in the corner, but get back in the corner," It's like they just have to cede the power position to find out who the hell you think you are. I know how it feels when you get flaked on, it's a pride hit for sure and more powerful than any neg, because it's action not words. I'm a guy and used to it, but I think a lot of confident women think they're 90s Meg Ryan and aren't used to an ego uppercut like that. In their fairytale loving mind they're doing us a favor by giving us the chance to see them socially, so I think a flake every now and then is good for their soul.

This has worked 3 out of 3 for me, but I'm just guessing on why. Maybe they want a challenge, maybe they are just looking to find out why I'm an asshole, maybe, maybe, maybe.... No idea but it definitely has worked to help get me over my common hurdle of building attraction.