Met a girl (24) who, through text, seemed pretty cool.

The date itself started with good vibes. We really clicked over literature and theater (she's an actress), and I could literally see her eyes light up. I felt good, like this was someone I genuinely wanted to get to know more. She even touched my hands, and we both shared that "touch" was our primary love language.

She casually mentioned she was currently seeing a "booty call." Immediately after, she said "booty calls aren't really my thing, I just want to meet people." Massive contradiction right there.

The conversation veered into politics, and she revealed she's an anarchist. I'm pretty center-left, so it was a big difference. She was a bit of a "yapper" on the topic, and then came the line that really threw me: she once felt "safe" on a first date because the guy was an anarchist. This really struck me as a strange and exclusionary thing to say. She also talked about how she enjoyed "dumpster diving" as a first date experience. I found myself feeling taken aback by all of this.

Throughout the later part of the date, she was also looking around a lot, which she attributed to having ADHD, but it still felt like a bit of a disconnect. She subtly mentioned that a two-hour date was the "sweet spot" to leave things on a high, even though we were already past three hours.

When we parted ways, it was a brief goodbye. I texted her about 30 minutes later, "Nice to meet you, if ever we can go to a park next time." Her reply was, "Yeah, I was very nice, we will keep on touch."

It's particularly frustrating because I've noticed a pattern: when I try to be gentle, flirty, and playful, I often end up with confusion and my self-worth feeling damaged. But when I act more directly, almost like a "dickhead" by just asking them to "come over" right away, I seem to get clearer results, very often leading to sex. It makes me question if I have to adopt that persona just to get a concrete outcome, even if it's not the deeper connection I initially seek.

Am I overthinking this? Was "we will keep on touch" just a soft no, or did I miss something? And how do you deal with the frustration of investing so much into dates that go nowhere or leave you more confused than before? I'm honestly so burnt out, I'm almost ready to just say "wanna come over?" as my first move from now on just to filter for directness