This is how the average man on a date looks to me.

In true 'Wild West Dance' style, the pretty girl is shooting bullets at his feet. He's desperately dancing around trying to evade all these shots. He's nervous, he's sweating, he's uncomfortable...

...yet all the time trying to pretend he's cool, calm and confident. "Nothing bothers me, honest!"

All through the date, every time the average man thinks of a joke/comment/story to tell, he asks himself 'is this good enough? Will she like this?'

If it passes through the filter, he then assesses her reaction. If she laughs, smiles or nods in agreement...

...phew, job done well.

But if she scrumples her eyebrows, looks at him and questions 'you really think that, do you?', it's PANIC time.

Of course, on the outside he is still acting cool and calm, like nothing bothers him. But on the inside he's freaking out. 'Did I say the wrong thing? Is she offended? How do I recover? Is this a shit test?'

The whole experience is like a stressful job interview, instead of a fun interaction between two human beings.

He never stops to think:

  1. How can I enjoy this?
  2. Is this woman actually someone I like as a person, beyond just looking good?
  3. Why am I the one who has to dance and pass all the tests? Why isn't she concerned about passing my tests? Why don't I even have any tests?

Instead of asking how to be a better conversationalist, what to say to impress her, how to get her to text back...

...try asking 'how can I be the kind of man she wants to impress?'