this is what rock bottom feels like

_playswithsquirrels_ · 2016-05-07T03:37:57+00:00

Read Models. It is exactly what you need I think.

sorcererbro · 2016-05-07T02:49:28+00:00

Your challenge is your inner game. Toss those books in your fireplace.

ThrowawayPUA · 2016-05-07T03:52:29+00:00

Some guys hit rock bottom and decide they have to make changes.

Some guys hit rock bottom and get out a pick and shovel and start digging even deeper.

MasterOfMySoul · 2016-05-07T04:04:03+00:00

There are probably a lot of factors at play here and the only thing you wish you could do (ask her directly what happned) isn't going to work because she probably doesn't have an answer for you either. What you need to do is actually grieve. Go through your process because a quick turnaround of attitude can actually make your feelings worse. If you are like me, you are going to be thinking about this person non stop for a while. She is going to be a part of your mind for a while. The good thing now, is that you're motivated. And my advice to you, is try your best to be at peace with her decision. It is hard; it is emotionally painful and draining. And it feels very unfair and you simultaneously hate and love her at the same time. I know it sucks but you have to let go of any possibility of getting back together. But it's a process and we all go through it at our own pace.

Nugulus · 2016-05-07T16:15:47+00:00

Stop looking at women as angels. They're not. Put yourself on the pedestal you would usually put them on.

High-minded_Hamster · 2016-05-07T04:08:22+00:00

Add Models by Mark Manson to that reading list. Also No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover.

You sound pretty needy and overly invested judging by your post, a huge topic that is addressed in depth in the former books mentioned.

TheMinistryOfAwesome · 2016-05-07T09:19:02+00:00

The problem is really the amount of value and sentiment you put on your feelings for these girls. So you've hung out with them, you fucked them and then you start growing some attachment to them... but really does this attachment come because you guys are just amazing for each other... or does it come out of the imperative to be with 'anyone' and they just happen to really be the most available.

Your words suggest that you're maybe not dealing this from a 'scarcity' mentality but i'd still really really suggest looking up the concept of over intvestment. Even if you do have plenty of women, hanging out with a girl a bit and fucking her once isn't really enough to really justify "such deep emotions and connections that warrants me feeling the lowest in my life ever"

I mean, to put it in perspective. Maybe she thought you were cute, and wanted to have a fun enjoyable experience with a cool guy. She hadn't been laid in 6months and wanted to get fucked. Then you guys spend time, have fun and hook up and all of a sudden the dude starts getting super intense "oh i think we have a deep connection" etc. (even if you don't say it explicitly it'll be apparent in your behaviour) and so she gets a bit put off/scared away by it and backs off a little. Or maybe she just scratches it up to some great transient thing and moves on.

One thing that is apparent is this:

you measure the worth of your life by the people that love you.
You worship the women you're attracted to - and even the ones that you've never met but expect to be attracted to "I am not going to let another angel slip through my fingers"... If you're going to call them flying angels then expect them to be always looking down at you.

This is wrong.

Everything about your relationship with this girl kind of goes against the grain of what people try to live here. You're trying to be her friend first and foremost, it's unsurprising that you get friendzoned.

Not to put a harsh spin on it, i feel for you... I really have been in this situation myself but you are just another person at a fork in the road.

As /u/ThrowawayPUA says. You make changes or you dig deeper.

My suggestion is to get off this subreddit for a while - there is a lot of chaff/bullshit that lead people the wrong way. Read the books.

The Game
No more Mr nice Guy
Models
Bang
Gorilla Mindset
etc.

There are lots

Read a bunch of them... and process them as objectively as possible.

You have to be very real with yourself over the next few months otherwise you'll be locked into this shit. But know this:

if you're attractive, charming and funny... then there is no reason that you couldn't possibly get a girl
how many new girls do yo ureally meet in life? If it's a small number then you are not really doing yourself any favours
What qualities do you really think women are attracted to? Do you represent any of these?
Self pity is the ugliest of all emotions. Fix your shit up, make your life good and start unfucking it in a way so that you depend on you for your own well-being... not some deep fucking intense super-emotion required from another vaguely random person you've boned once or twice.

ignore /u/sorcererbro - don't toss them in the fire. Read them... they started me on the journey and essentially were the catalyst to change my life for the better too.

PM_FOR_PUA_ADVICE · 2016-05-07T12:38:38+00:00

Visit a therapist. This is a community to share ideas and experiences about seducing women. Not a shoulder to cry on.

When you "decide" to man up and leave the boy behind, we will prod you in the right direction. right now you're crying like a wuss because you don't want to leave your comfort zone and accept the fact that all that your mother taught you growing up was a lie.

SecondVariety13 · 2016-05-07T14:57:42+00:00

Not so much giving advice but I just wanted to say that your post and the following responses really helped me out. I went through something similar a few months back and I have many of the same emotions you've described. It does hurt man. First time I've felt that kind of thing. I've been working on my inner-game ever since and I have made progress. However, building strong inner-game is a gradual process IMO. I have days all the time where those feelings of inadequacy, neediness, the fear that I'll never find mutual love (this is a big one), ect. come welling back up. But I no longer suppress them. I accept them, allow myself to feel them, realize that they don't define me and then reassure myself of my worth. I'll suggest a book I'm reading now - The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. It's not geared towards seduction, rather it examines the psychology of self-esteem (inner-game) and how it affects all aspects of our lives.

fakenamehere01 · 2016-05-08T08:13:36+00:00

Not sure if anyone will see this, because the thread is already on the second page, but I want to say thank you to everyone that gave feedback/support. I felt really low yesterday, but a combination of these discussions, seeing friends, and making resolutions about ways in which I want to change my self and life, I feel incredibly hopeful and excited today. The heartbreak, of course, isn't gone, but I've decided to embrace it and grow from it.

So yah, thanks everyone.

Title	this is what rock bottom feels like
Author	fakenamehere01
Upvotes	16
Comments	35
Date	May 7, 2016 2:06 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4i88ab/this_is_what_rock_bottom_feels_like/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/this-is-what-rock-bottom-feels-like.1406427 https://theredarchive.com/post/1406427

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