Till when should a man pay?

norwegiandoggo · 2024-12-26T06:01:07+00:00

I always pay everything first date. And after that i do 50/50-ish but i don't count everything. More like "i pay this one" and then she pays the next. Don't make a big deal out of it. But i don't make a looot more money than most of the women I meet.

If I was making bank, I'm sure the women I'd be seeing would expect me to pay more. This is what typically happens when I've visited poorer countries. They see I'm from a richer country so they expect me to pay more. Fair in most cases.

It's also a trade of sorts. Not to all women. But i can imagine that once you have more money ; you're also getting access to a new and attractive women. And you're not getting that access because of your looks - right? You're getting it because of your money. So then they might expect you to pay more because they could have gotten a hotter guy with less money. But they chose you, because your provide some sugar daddy benefits. You have to recognize that. They took a looks-cut for a pay increase. Are you down for that deal? You get a hotter woman but you also gotta pay a little more for date-related stuff. For them to stay your FWB they have to feel like it's a fair deal. And you also have to feel like it's fair - otherwise dump them.

Numerous-String9679 · 2024-12-26T07:44:22+00:00

Bro you don’t have to. I actually use this as a test against women. If someone gets offended just because I suggested to split on the first date, it is usually a turn off. It seems unreasonable to spend money on someone without knowing if I like being around them. Paying for a date is a special act to me only reserved for special ppl.

riordanajs · 2024-12-26T10:30:44+00:00

My policy is that before we've had sex, I pay for nothing, or offer her nothing. After sex it's different, as she's invested properly in to the relationship.

Edit: I come from the Nordics, so things might be different in other parts of the world, here this seems like a good strategy.

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2024-12-26T07:03:28+00:00

If you're a cool dude and the girl likes you, she almost everytime offers to split the bill with you.

When the girl doesnt offer to pay, i know the date when to shit and i probably cant escalate her home with me.

epimpstyle · 2024-12-26T10:32:50+00:00

What does common sense tell you?

- If you tell the girl "let's go to XYZ restaurant", it is you who will have to pay. What if you take her to a luxurious restaurant, eat caviar, drink champagne and in the end everyone has to pay their bills?

- Hotel rooms for trips. Same as above, if you initiate the invitation, you pay for it.

- If a FWB flies in to see me: Same as above, if it is her decision to fly in to see you, she has to pay, but if you are the one telling her to fly in and see you, you have to be a gentleman.

Paying is not a sign of weakness as many PUAs preach, it is common sense. If you pay her a lemonade, she doesn't need to have sex with you for that thing, but also if she hasn't kissed you before, it doesn't mean that you need to treat her like a dick and buy a lemonade only for yourself.

jarrai8000 · 2024-12-26T14:30:46+00:00

My rule is I pay for the first date. They pay for the second date. Then it's 50/50.

I think any woman who makes her own money will understand. If it turns them off, then good. Because women who can't afford to live a lifestyle I want to share don't belong in my life.

I don't care how hot they are. I don't care that other men have always paid for everything. I'm not other men. My value goes far and beyond my bank account. Besides, you meet any really wealthy men, they definitely won't put up with some cheap woman who expects you to pay for them.

LeftPromotion4869 · 2024-12-26T18:01:56+00:00

I will only ever let a woman pay for small things for me. If I take her out, I will pay for food, drinks, entertainment, parking, our uber and whatever else. I'll only let her pay for coffee/snacks and of course if she gets something for us without my knowledge.

I am the provider, I feel fulfilled providing for my women. Thus, it is in my interest to pay.

Onzalimey · 2024-12-28T13:07:09+00:00

Type of frame you set is what matters. If you set a frame that you pay for everything then you’ve set that frame. Set the frame you want from the start and stick to it. If she doesn’t accept that frame you’ll know right away. If you’ve been paying for awhile now it’s going to be hard to change the frame your in. Needs to be set from the start

The1WhoDares · 2024-12-26T05:32:57+00:00

I make my situationships pay there 1/2 unless we got to dinner or something I got that

InternationalSwan162 · 2024-12-26T13:27:04+00:00

Depends on the girl honestly. Hopefully she’s booking her own flights. I’m usually getting a hotel and it’s the mindset of “I want to be in this place.” Especially if it’s my idea. It’s different when she’s initiating trip ideas. Context matters tho.

But again it all depends on the girl. Some have money, some don’t. Some are cool and want to split. A lot want a traditional man to lead the front.

Get what you want out of it and if the situation leaves you frustrated (eg she has money but won’t ever split) then dip out.

PrinceDestin · 2024-12-26T14:20:45+00:00

Pay when you want to, don’t when you don’t and go 50/50 if both agree

Quartrez · 2024-12-26T17:17:46+00:00

Everyone pays their half during the dating process and we're just getting to know each other. After that it's only if it's a gift of some sort and Im inviting her. Otherwise, still 50-50. If she doesn't agree to that, that means she just wants a free meal and has no interest in me.

InstructionAbject763 · 2024-12-30T05:02:36+00:00

It depends

I'm a woman. I'm the one who's risking getting pregnant and having to carry it

It's always in the back of my head. I do think not 100% of everything should be paid.

But making it easier for me would be nice

Because I could just not have sex. Save my money and have sex with anyone else closer to home

And if the other guy disagrees. That's fine. Not meant to be.

Like if HE wants something he pays

If it's me wanting something I'll pay

But 99% of the time it's the guy inviting me

And its a nice gesture to pay me knowing that if all shit hits the fan I'm the one putting in all the physical labor and mental strain

No-Wolverine7793 · 2024-12-26T07:32:01+00:00

Your going to pay it one way or another

vecter · 2024-12-26T05:44:55+00:00

Forever. I pay for pretty much everything. The girls I’ve treated this way in the past often end up doing a lot of things for me without asking, getting me gifts, or just proactively paying for stuff once in a while so I don’t even get the chance to pay. But it’s mostly because I’m extremely masculine so they like me for my personality and want to show their appreciation. When I pay for things, I never make them feel like they owe me something, because they don’t. That would be a bribe for sex, which is disgusting.

Don’t pay for everything if you’re unmasculine or have no frame. You will just be taken advantage of.

Also, if you’re masculine, seductive, and pay for everything but the woman never reciprocates by doing things for you, that’s a sign that she’s not a quality woman and not serious long-term material.

Dandys3107 · 2024-12-26T10:52:27+00:00

Generally sex should be just enough reason for another person to get with you, spending money works best if it's served just like a kind addition to your main context. If it is required for you to spend significant amount of money to get nice company and sexual act, then it feels very close to upfront sexual services. Make up your priorities and benefit calculation. You can be silent about potentially spending money or offer to cover only some part of the expenses. If they are "only" your friends with benefits that have bothersome requirements, you can always find different ones that will match your situation and feelings better.

Title	Till when should a man pay?
Author	Youngblood4k
Upvotes	15
Comments	40
Date	December 26, 2024 5:24 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1hmhon5/till_when_should_a_man_pay/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/till-when-should-a-man-pay.1539537 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539537

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