What am I doing wrong on tinder ?

kimyungill · 2017-02-15T02:30:30+00:00

yr playing nice guy a bit too much. being overly attentive.

DoubleGunsSockCucka · 2017-02-15T02:22:00+00:00

Just go out to bars dude. It's way easier and effective to meet women

AltAccountLeader · 2017-02-15T05:22:09+00:00

Spark conversation on tinder to make sure they have more than 0% interest in talking to you.
Quickly move the conversation to text/snapchat. Girls are more likely to respond to texts than Tinder as it's more personal. Also, don't be afraid of rejection at this point as there's no feelings lost if they don't give you their number, just keep swiping.
Once texting, don't spend a lot of time playing 20 questions, you can save that for the date. As someone else mentioned, 3-5 messages are ideal and then arrange a date. If you are unsure on how to initiate the date request, find a connection either from her photos or bio or her messages and go from there. For example: "The cavaliers are playing on Friday, did you want to go with me?" or "Did you want to catch the game somewhere with me?" or "Challenge accepted. Cook off-Saturday, my place? If you're down to get crushed, that is."

I think you spent too much time on step 1. They were initially interested (for example: girl 2's language-I'll win either way-that makes it sound like she is planning on doing the cook off to beat you. A hypothetical response would have been I'd win either way which wouldn't imply interest) but you lost your edge by not escalating to the next level. People use Tinder for hookups/dates/relationships and the only way you can do that is if you ask them out. They don't use it for conversations.

This is just my 2 cents, hope this helps. Good luck!

running4beer · 2017-02-15T05:30:18+00:00

I think you're sounding too eager in your texts. Also, it's hard to detect what kind of personality or sense of humor you have based on your responses.

I'd day focus on using tinder to develop a texting style. This means you shouldn't be a yes-man (unless you are in person) and use it as a trial and error platform to find your "voice," so to speak.

I struggled with this, and still do. I am a witty guy in person, with a unique sense of absurd/meta humor that girls usually love. Over text though, it's hard to get it across.

I realized that I shouldn't make it easy for them. I don't use haha's a lot or exclamation marks. Instead, I let them decide whether something is funny or not. Humor and wit are a big point of attraction for me, so this also works as a filter system.

t1mman · 2017-02-15T17:00:25+00:00

You are having a conversation, Tinder (and texting) should be used to set basic rapport and set a date.

On the second example, you set the pavement to a date (Mini cookoff could be cool), she expects you to lay an invitation, a date with a specific time and date: After she said she would win, you should’ve “cashed it”. (Let’s find out then! Friday night, my place, I’ll give you a challenge!). Instead, you go on and continue asking questions.

Furthermore, your questions are somewhat unrelated. When someone talks about how good a cook she is, you follow up with the subject already in place. It’s called funneling if you want more info on this. When you are asking unrelated questions, it stops the mojo, it feels like you don’t “listen” to the answer and it feels like an interview. You can exploit a subject for a long run, direct it to another subject but not without relation to each others. She sets multiple dates options (Go play a sports, go watch a match, go to a sports bar, go to an event), instead you talk about playing soccer. Kind of like the sort of dudes that seems to talk only about himself but never listen.

bcool47 · 2017-02-15T06:15:54+00:00

Other people have hinted at it, but the real issue here is that you're skipping topics. Sure you were very nice and pleasant in your texting and in the future maybe you can add more edge, but the girl seemed game nonetheless. But once you guys got to the cook off topic, you should have dug deeper, made it about you and her, and asked her to do that very activity. Instead, you strangely moved on to yet another topic and yet another barrage of errant and directionless questions. In the future, ping (ideally through statements not questions) for a point of commonality, and ask her out based on that ASAP. The girl gives you hints of how to seduce her. You can get to know each other more through texts and on the date really. Good luck!

SexySmexxy · 2017-02-15T07:29:19+00:00

I'm not trying to be funny.

But your texts are boring as fuck its like an interview.

Stop interviewing these girls, make them say LOL or use a few emoji's.

Any decent girl has probably answered the same question 300 times since they got tinder.

Drop the bomb and ask them out fairly early, and for fuck sake stop interviewing them.

Imagine you're talking to a girl irl, are you just gonna ask them about the most boring parts of their life or try and spark private jokes and make them laugh.

This is the biggest issue I find with guys on tinder,

And for fuck sake is you start every match with "hey you x" or any similar variation just don't bother.

chaosandmayhem · 2017-02-15T17:33:32+00:00

Don't interview on Tinder. Get plans, get out. You're also way too agreeable. Stop asking so many fucking questions.

If your game in real life is anything like your Tinder messages, it's flat and boring. I once read a great article by Roissy (before he went completely insane) that said "you should be comfortable with your texts showing up on a stadium screen."

brokenmess · 2017-02-15T20:03:09+00:00

"that was the best answer ever". NEVER give a girl you just meet this much validation.

abstractpickupartist · 2017-02-15T21:52:17+00:00

Read this: https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5tordh/having_success_with_this_tinder_strategy/

Looking at your conversations is almost painful. Don't just sit there asking question after question, it's tinder. Set up a time and place.

"You'd like my room mate" "What's your major?" ??? "I''ll win either way". "Besides cooking, what do you enjoy?" ???

It's like a mindless question machine. You are cock-blocking yourself.

Your goal is to meet up, and fuck her. Not to learn her major. If you get an opening, use it.

Just off the top of my head:

"You'd like my room mate" "You can introduce me, after we meet. Coffee?" "I''ll win either way". "You'll have to prove that. Your kitchen or mine?"

You just jump to completely unrelated questions that have no purpose other than to prolong the conversation until she dies of boredom.

Your goal is to set a meeting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yz246_Pjjkc

SeinoMore · 2017-02-15T02:31:52+00:00

You need to rule out those who are just seeking validation and/or just want a male chat friend. Ask them to meet you within 3-5 messages. The rest of the conversation should be setting the details for the meeting or getting them off twitter onto another chat method or on the telephone. Don't try and build rapport and comfort over twitter. Leave that to when you meet.

Also, you'd better off asking advice on the Tinder specific boards as people there seem well versed in playing Tinder. Once you meet someone in person your "seduction" can take place..

JawounGeorge · 2017-02-15T02:53:12+00:00

These comments are awesome! Thank you guys

everydaybloke · 2017-02-15T07:39:33+00:00

I would say don't switch topics so often.
Have the directive of going out in mind and not getting to know her through the tinder conversation. For example although asking about the major was fine, but asking what she wants to do after school is a bit too deep and serious for a tinder chat.Think of the chat only as a way to set up logistics.
I agree with /u/bcool47. You need to direct your conversations towards a common activity. Hone in on one topic, and then suggest you do that activity together.

You should have kept the conversation to making tacos for example and asked her if she was up for it. Even when you changed topics and asked what else she liked and she said eating, you should have said 'well I know this cafe where they serve the best XYZ. Do you want to check it out?'. Don't be afraid to come off as a bit forth-coming, you both liked each other and if you can't show a bit of confidence in tinder chats then it will seem that in real life you will never make the move. I don't agree with the other user that you should drop innuendo if that is not your personality. I personally wouldn't do that, but if it suits you, you should. Good luck.

MindsEvolve · 2017-02-15T15:46:34+00:00

Most people caught on to it. Too much excitement about their answers, and also not enough flirting. Sometimes you can just say something silly for the sake of being silly. You can get into much more fun and exciting conversations that way, and they don't even have to be about anything. You can be like "Do you like muffins?" and she can be like "Sure." and you can be like "Yeah, you the muffin queen." It doesn't have to make sense all the time. Let out the silly side!

PM me if you need some help with your profile too.

santereality · 2017-02-15T04:11:00+00:00

I'm confused are you meeting them or just texting them?

double-victory · 2017-02-16T01:29:30+00:00

Blur faces in screenshots

max1800b · 2017-02-15T02:31:37+00:00

You're not doing anything wrong really. They probably just got busy. But, it's effective to ask for their Snapchat after a few messages. It's a much better platform to be on.

Clyde_Frag · 2017-02-15T18:17:45+00:00

The second girl was never interested in anything but attention in the first place, and the first convo was really bland and typical. You're not standing out at all by talking about majors and shit like that.

Title	What am I doing wrong on tinder ?
Author	JawounGeorge
Upvotes	8
Comments	49
Date	February 15, 2017 2:21 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5u4rdk/what_am_i_doing_wrong_on_tinder/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-am-i-doing-wrong-on-tinder.1420282 https://theredarchive.com/post/1420282

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