what are basic conversation subjects/lines to get to know someone you haven't met before?

The-Great-Jebus · 2013-07-14T09:07:25+00:00

FORD. Family Occupation Recreational (activities) Dreams

shanghaid · 2013-07-14T10:25:39+00:00

I recently met a photographer recently (friend of a friend) and he asked me what was the single largest technological improvement in my occupation over the past 10 years.

This impressed me as a question you could ask anyone, anytime, and get them to open up a bit.

recyclablebantha · 2013-07-14T11:03:57+00:00

Forget about adding seductive/flirty elements into it. I know I have to give out a vibe of confidence and dominance, but I'm not actually aware of the structures of that type of conversation.

Firstly, confidence is key, but a quick note about "dominance." Dominance shouldn't require having complete control of everything. Seduction is a team sport and it's impossible to control everything.

Secondly, there's nothing special about this "type" of conversation. Conceptually, chatting with someone you've just met, is pretty much the same as chatting with your buddies. The only reason it becomes complicated with a new person is because you make it so. That's it.

I would like advice on a structured routine approach to striking up a conversation with both men and women while appearing as a confident desirable person to be around.

Okay, a couple of things.

If you want to move beyond "appearing confident" to actually BEING confident, going with a structured "routine" is not what you want.
Using a structured routine makes you into an entertainment act, not someone who is connecting with someone. (Connecting with someone is much more powerful than simply entertaining them.)

So what do I say? If I'm at a party and two or three people are conversing, how do I introduce myself and get in? Or if someone is sitting by herself/himself, what do I say to build rapport? It always feels so awkward and forced. How do I make it smooth and fun?

Okay, now you're starting to ask better questions. Though, you seem to be asking for someone to give you a magic bullet. There's no such thing. If you want to actually get somewhere socially, then conversations should be approached as the spontaneous, unique, unplannable things that they are.

However, there IS a very doable way to make it more fun, less awkward and less forced. And to do it in a way that naturally lends itself towards building rapport, in those cases where it's possible. (Note: it's NOT always possible to please everyone and it's not possible to have awesome conversations and rapport with everyone, either.)

David Wygant gave a good talk about a more natural way to approach conversations. Watch the video. His focus is women and openers, but the concept in there cover how you could talk to anyone, and how you would carry the conversation forward. It covers some basics about the great value of paying attention & being present to the moment. Because doing these things will accomplish two things:

Provide you with information, which will literally tell you how to proceed with a conversation. Information is power.
Take you out of your head, which is the reason you're feeling so awkward. You're pulling inward and away from the people you're trying to relate to, which is making it impossible and leading to awkwardness on your part that will make anyone you talk to feel awkward too.

Roxkis · 2013-07-14T17:09:56+00:00

How to Hold Conversation Like a Man. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-a1jXgAsQI

This videos helped me alot when it comes to conversation with just people in general.

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2013-07-14T17:59:13+00:00

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anoneqsht · 2013-07-14T15:42:28+00:00

Chemistry > conversation

Some people you click with, some people you don't.

Talk about whatever, and if personality and interest is near equal, everything flows better.

SonoBomb · 2013-07-14T19:31:18+00:00

People like to talk about themselves, but they can only answer the same question so many times before they want to bite the head off of the next person who asks such. What I recommend is that you go to askreddit and read through the questions people post - a lot of them will be crap, but every so often, there is a gem in that mine. Instead of sticking to just the F.O.R.D, ask about things like what their favorite dinosaur is and why, or what pizza topping they would be if they had to be a pizza topping... questions that make them think. People usually talk about their thought process (the actual trivia aspect of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" felt like only fifteen percent of the show at best - most of it was the contestants' ums, uhs, and reasoning on display), and this will create openings for other conversations.

The_DukeDevlin · 2013-07-14T18:35:58+00:00

First I usually go for the basic getting to know eachother shit to see if there are any COMMONALITIES I can exploit for rapport; like if we both listen to Aerosmith [[or i can pretend to be into her shitty indie music ;)]] or we both like Kim Jong Ill's sushi place, i can then use that as a close later on.

Then I'll screen for logistics, I'll see if she's from the area or not or if she's doing anything after work. I once had a set where the girl was moving back across country the next day -- obv. I had to game different than one of them hos that say I have lived here my whole life.

If I'm at a party and two or three people are conversing, how do I introduce myself and get in?

The bigger the group the easier it is because the natural thing is to break down into groups of two. THIS IS SCIENCE.

People at a party tend to be there to socialize, so I'd just go in and be like AYE MATES, ANY YOU GUYS HAVE THE SPIKED PUNCH YET? or something like that and just transition from there. I'm good at transitions though, so maybe you wanna use something more under the radar like MYSTERY METHOD shizzz

2013-07-16T05:55:23+00:00

Depending on the context just follow traditional conversational rituals. Start paying attention to the ones people use given your environment as your starting point, write them down if you have to.

Start using them and eventually you'll improve in the way you introduce the subject, but you can always get by with basics. It's not the best but its a starting point that works.

For example on college campuses a reliable one to use after a quiz or test during a class break is "how do you think you did on the test?"

182fooz · 2013-07-16T19:40:06+00:00

"Do you have any hobbies ?" "Whats the best thing about your hometown" "are you a family person, how many brothers etc".

Use questions to suss them out, what makes them tick, this goes for people all in all, and flatter them on certain qualities; be geniune. Flattery is good and lets them feel valued, really i did this to a girl the other day; and she was following me around for the whole weekend.

BadMotorFinger77 · 2013-07-14T09:04:58+00:00

Ask about what they're passionate about. It's very vague and easy to talk about.

DaveYarnell · 2013-07-14T10:02:18+00:00

I personally like a simple "Hey!" opener. "Hey! Hows it going?!" then follow with something situational-- "Do you come here a lot?" "You have a really unique hairdo! Did you watch a youtube video on how to do it? It looks complicated!"

Something along those lines.

Then I would just recommend knowing what you want and softly guiding the conversation towards those subjects. Do you want a girl who likes bars, or doesnt? Ask her if she goes out often, what her favorite bars are. Do you want a girl who is a gym rat, or who likes her munchies? Ask a question in either direction "You look like a runner, do you enjoy running?" Or "Those (insert food at the party) are really good. Did you try them? What kind of food do you like?"

Etc.

polerawkaveros · 2013-07-14T12:46:11+00:00

If someone is sitting by herself/himself, what do I say to build rapport?

Most of the time I start off with a compliment. It kicks off the conversation pretty well. But make sure you can actually talk about the item. Don't just say, "Hey I like your bandanna!" and then end it at that, lol.

The follow-up is important.

At music festivals, I follow-up with, "Where are you from?"

At house parties, I follow-up with, "How do you know [the host]?"

If I'm at a party and two or three people are conversing, how do I introduce myself and get in?

That's.. kind of intrusive. I mean, how would you feel if you're having a conversation and then someone just butts in?

Anyways, after all that, I ask what they do, and just go from there.

squirrelflufftail · 2013-07-14T14:34:38+00:00

Smile, compliment, introduction, and questions. Sometimes its going to be awkward but most of the time if you're confident, smiling and friendly they'll want to be around you.

jspliff1 · 2013-07-14T19:01:34+00:00

ask em what their interests are

Edgar_Allan_Rich · 2013-07-15T20:02:45+00:00

Just ask them random questions and vamp off what the answer is.

superbreadninja · 2013-07-14T17:25:25+00:00

So... Do you like cheese?

AndersHigh · 2013-07-14T09:18:31+00:00

Start with an opinion opener, its allways the most easy thing to start a group off with.

“I need your opinion on something. I have a good friend and she caught her boyfriend kissing another girl. She ran away crying but she loves him so much she’s forgiven him and still wants to be with him. I mean, I only want the best for her… what do you think, should she dump him or what.”

“My friend went to this psychic who told him he was going to be rich. Do you believe in psychics?”

Good topics to talk about will be Relationships, people in the news and the supernatural. After that if your alone with one girl, you want to talk about interests, family, dreams etc..

2013-07-14T08:24:51+00:00

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2013-07-14T10:09:48+00:00

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Title	what are basic conversation subjects/lines to get to know someone you haven't met before?
Author	thryy
Upvotes	201
Comments	76
Date	July 14, 2013 6:50 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1i9jo4/what_are_basic_conversation_subjectslines_to_get/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-are-basic-conversation-subjectslines-to-get.1355439 https://theredarchive.com/post/1355439

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