What are your sticking points while on 40s?

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-06-17T06:17:24+00:00

Entering mid 30s and divorced. So stamina is tougher in the sense that I don't like to go out much on weeknights like I did in my 20s. My dating demographic has changed as well. I don't care for the college aged women anymore and set around a soft 25+ starting point with more emphasis on late 20s onward who really have their shit together and are independent both financially and on a maturity level away from partying and being a brat; a problem is it's tougher to schedule dates much of the time with busy lives.

A major shift after going through my marriage and extremely mentally ill partner is I'll now spend considerable effort getting to know a woman and to observe for red flags. If I even sense a woman is crazy I'll cut any further dates with her. It's just not worth the trouble. So playing the slow game can have its setbacks as well if you move too slowly. But I don't care about expected norms from dating communities; I'll move at my own pace.

epimpstyle · 2025-06-17T09:05:25+00:00

I turned 47 recently, and I don't go out explicitly to hit on women, but I take any opportunity to talk to them and many times I create my own luck (which is not honest, it might look weird if someone were to analyze my moves, but it is efficient, so I don't care.).

For example, yesterday at a grocery store, I saw a woman looking for carrots, but they were very small and weak. I also went near her and told her, 'Well, it looks like I won't eat soup today...' She said, 'Yes, they don't look good haha' and she left. I saw she was alone no rings on her fingers and for this reason I went near the cash register and waited for her to pay (this is the move that isn't honest but is efficient, without doing this, it would have been over). However after I saw her in the line, I went right after her, and then it was very easy to talk to her: "so.... what do we eat today? Soup without carrots?" - this is what I said that you need to make your own luck.

Upgrayedd_U · 2025-06-17T14:59:18+00:00

Not sticking points, per se, but time and energy are the biggest limiting factors by miles.

Switched over from tech to sales in my early 40s. Pay and benefits are better, but workload is much higher. Find it hard to break free enough to put in the time and energy I'd like towards networking, socializing, and dating.

Specific to dating though, I'm living proof that if you work your fundamentals in your 20s, dating and "seduction" become dead simple in your 30s and 40s. My dating apps are maxed out and there are at least 2-3 other online channels that I could build up if I had more time. Two regular GFs and a half dozen other I could call up at any time. Open poly, so everyone involved knows what's going on. It's a wild place to be less than six months out of marriage.

Hardest part honestly is accepting this new reality and trying to figure out how to navigate it well. I keep having this urge to blow it all up at times just to see if I can rebuild it somewhere else and with someone else. But when I reflect on it, I immediately realize how selfish, narcissistic, and privileged it all sounds and revert back to my senses.

Edits: grammar and clarity.

adrian-mx · 2025-06-18T15:44:56+00:00

I'm 39 and I still do cold approaches during the day. The problem (and I know it's self inflicted) is that I feel self conscious approaching girls that I find attractive because they are often a lot younger than me. Basically I'm afraid of looking like a creep.

TuxedoPinata · 2025-06-18T05:59:41+00:00

Pretty much the same sticking points I had in my 20s but never truly worked on..

LucaCoco_ · 2025-06-18T03:56:21+00:00

Approaching feels weird? Mindset problem

Title	What are your sticking points while on 40s?
Author	FlowSurferFromMars
Upvotes	29
Comments	16
Date	June 17, 2025 5:03 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ldepck/what_are_your_sticking_points_while_on_40s/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-are-your-sticking-points-while-on-40s.1554971 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554971

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