Our dear moderator /u/recyclablebanthas made a good point on my post, "Yes, One Mistake Is Enough to Lose Her," where I said that women want the 1% of the 1%

He wrote,

Maybe she values a dude having everything figured out in life. Maybe she wants to get lost and explore with someone. Maybe she's anti-establishment. Maybe she's religious. Maybe she's into crystals and auras. A lot of different things can lead to that top 1% being really different between any two people. Plus, that 1% represents anyone's dream match. Most people date other people while they're in-between dream matches.

And it was spot on.

You see, not all women can GET the 1%. Well, to be more clear, they can't keep him.

If you're a guy with a high lay count, it's undoubtable that you've shagged a girl and then that was it. Maybe she wanted more, maybe she didn't, but if you're "higher value" than her (which I'll go into in a second), you might not want to keep for anything long-term.

You see this in a lot of rap songs. Rappers like G-Eazy will talk about smashing some rando girl at a concert and then never seeing her again. In some cases, those girls have boyfriends. Were those men on his level? Probably not. Homeboy liked her enough to "cuff" her (get her into a relationship), but for G-Eazy, she was just a +1 fun for the night. This is value disparity and hypergamy. You see, women DO want the highest value man she can get, but they can't always get him. I go into this in this video. So even if a girl's value is ambiguous until you meet her, there is a hierarchy amongst men. There's a reason why there's a 1%.

But the question is - what's the 1%?

Well, as our moderator pointed out, that depends on the girl. What does she value?

Although it's a complicated subject, I'd have to say that it comes down to two values or types.

Soul.

And power.

The women who want soul are the women who are attracted to artists. Musicians, writers (like muah), actors, etc. They are attracted to passion, bipolar tendencies (it's exciting for women to be taken on an emotional rollercoaster), and abstract value (e.g., he has an aura of a mystical guru, or is a tormented soul who's battling his love of the material world with his more pessimistic philosophies on the brutality of existence). How rich he is, how powerful he is, or how successful he is with women can help attract her to him, but it's secondary or tertiary to his ineffable magnetism of....supramundaneness.

Other women do not care for this. They want traditionally powerful men. Men with status, money, worldly ambition, and a swath of conquests (either on the political, military, or sexual spectrum). They like power.

The woman who loves soul will find the millionaire investment banker boring and materialistic, and the woman who loves power will find the starving writer unambitious and lazy. My mother, for example, forever found the lazy artist who never held a real job in his life to be the apple of her eye (ironically, until recently, when in his 50's, she found out that he still has made nothing of himself after they had a phone call the other week after half a decade of silence).

Her types might change throughout her life, too. Maybe she was raised in a conservative but materialistic household where her father preached of security and success. She was groomed to be attracted to powerful and stable men. But then, in her 20's, after dating a few of these men, she is approached by a suave but unstable artist at some philanthropy event. His romanticism, eccentricity, and honesty strikes her as...unique. She sleep with him, falls in love with him, and has now found a new type.

However, even within these two super-sets of types, there is a heirachy. The woman who loves soulful men would have found Picasso infinitely more attractive than the hippy who makes seashell necklaces on the side of the road.

Picasso has soul and power (i.e., money, fame, preselection, etc).

Thus, hypergamy, the desire of women to find the BEST mate they can (as well as the actual act of trading up her current man for a new one), still holds true.

Whatever YOUR path in life and YOUR type, it is still recommended that you push yourself into the top 1% of your field, if not for a greater selection of high quality women, but for yourself.

"“If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery--isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you'll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is.”

Charles Bukowski, Factotum