When do you feel like your chasing too much?

Long8D · 2026-02-25T14:51:04+00:00

You met 2–3 times. That’s barely any investment. When she couldn’t meet and you switched from logistics only to more frequent texting, you changed the frame from busy guy with a life who sets dates to a guy seeking reassurance through text. Sings of chasing too much is decided base on her investment and yours. If you're initiating 80-100% of the conversions, you're sending multiple messages before she replies, you're trying too hard to fix the vibe over text, you're explaining yourself, you're reaction emotionally over response time etc. Those are usually signs of chasing.

You're not chasing when you send one messages to plan a date. If she's unavailable, she maybe proposes another time or place. If she doesn't engage, you just let the conversation die and you're okay with silence.

So right now the move is to pull back to the basics. At this point, you can probably just throw a hail marry and set a date, something like “Free Saturday evening. Join me for a drink.”

If she's in then great. If she flakes without trying to propose an alternative, match her investment and disappear. If she keeps giving low energy responses just stop engaging.

Also stop thinking in terms of “I fucked it up.” That scarcity mindset makes you cling. You went from cool and outcome independent to subtly seeking validation. That’s fixable instantly by adjusting your behavior now.

Your way of thinking should be “I’d enjoy seeing you. If not, no problem.”

Teshuahh · 2026-02-25T13:11:08+00:00

When it’s not reciprocal

twistedbullsh1t · 2026-02-25T12:28:17+00:00

Get 2-3 girls on rotation and this feeling will go away

epimpstyle · 2026-02-25T09:46:24+00:00

You said "In the beginning i only texted when I wanted to meetup after she couldn't make it last weekend we texted a bit more than usual " and then "the vibe kind of changed. ..... she just takes longer to respond in general"

So you only contacted her when you needed something… you wanted to look strong, to look cool. Well, congratulations , you did and now you get to find someone else. If you keep repeating these games, things are going to get pretty difficult for you in the future.

When do you feel like your chasing to much and maybe start pulling away?

Some girls like being chased because they see it as a sign that you care, while others completely disagree and put it in the ‘jealous or clingy’ category. There isn’t a clear answer to this, it’s something your own common sense will tell you. You’re the one who has to figure it out, there’s no checklist where doing certain things automatically means you’re chasing her too much.

Terrible_Assist_1345 · 2026-02-25T12:04:40+00:00

could be anything honestly. maybe she lost interest because you did not take action. Maybe her ASD went off. might be something else, it depends on the details. There is nothing wrong with texting in general.

You're chasing when you are more available then she is in my eyes.

autodidacticasaurus · 2026-02-25T12:33:27+00:00

Have you considered, you know, talking to her?

Here's what I would do "Hey, you doing okay over there?" ["Yeah, why?"] "It feels like you might be pulling away, so I thought I'd just check on you make sure everything's okay." Don't accuse her. Just tell her what it feels like to you and then show concern for her (this shows that you're not insecure by assuming it's you and also shows that you actually care what's going on). If you've been making her feel safe, she'll tell you. If not, she won't and you need to live with that. It could be anything though. Maybe she got in a fight with a friend, maybe it's her period, maybe a family member died, maybe there's another hot guy. You have no way of knowing.

I duno, you could probably do it smoother than what I just wrote. You can figure it out.

onefinecheeto · 2026-02-25T14:58:52+00:00

you don't want hostile energy in your life, distance yourself from her

but first, why don't you just ask her if she's ok. don't assume that she's hostile and responding slow because of you, she might have some stressful stuff going on in her life. people should try to have compassion and understanding first before reaching conclusions :)

Competitive-Cuddling · 2026-02-25T17:26:26+00:00

She stops chasing that’s more time with the rest of the roster.

ChicoBrillo · 2026-02-25T19:39:28+00:00

Don't get jargon-brained. She's not interested. She's not feeling it. If someone goes cold on me like that I'd just move on.

Somebody here will argue that you could salvage it but I think it's kind of pathetic to try to change somebodys mind.

Key-Proud · 2026-02-25T22:58:46+00:00

When you start to feel awkward moments.

BumblebeeHuman5699 · 2026-02-25T08:41:56+00:00

Did you fucked her?

Title	When do you feel like your chasing too much?
Author	KuroNekofff
Upvotes	20
Comments	28
Date	February 25, 2026 8:26 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1re7ojr/when_do_you_feel_like_your_chasing_too_much/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/when-do-you-feel-like-your-chasing-too-much.1574209 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574209

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