Your Last Ever Needed Guide On Conquering Approach Anxiety

MakeSail · 2021-01-08T05:29:24+00:00

Perhaps the better book to read by Maltz is "The Magic Power of Self-Image Psychology".

Self-image, as a precursor to self-awareness, is a part of accepting yourself by recognizing and understanding your own emotions. Becoming self-aware includes self-confidence.

Its not who we think we are, its about discovering and accepting our authentic self. Once you realize you can only truly judge yourself, there is no need to compare yourself to others, and this includes women. So the concept of 10/10 no longer applies. Your approach to people in general is universal. You can approach anyone man or woman without the need to judge or have preconceived notions. You are content in your own acceptance, nothing else is required.

The reason people who are self-aware are not controlled by the fear of rejection is they are able to recognize the fear and dismiss it.

Once adults become self-aware they can mature towards recognition of others (empathy, social skills), and become emotionally mature.

In my opinion, a man who is emotionally mature should only approach women who show initial attraction through flirting. Do not cold approach an uninterested woman for the purpose of dating.

DanishApollon · 2021-01-08T11:34:01+00:00

I agree.

As a hypnotherapist working with sexual dysfunction, I believe that this is pretty much spot on. I have seen this with SO many clients.

Remove all the negative associations to past experiences, build up a new self image of that person you REALLY want to be, and you are pretty much good to go.

Best of it all - it's easy and quick.

STD_Tyler · 2021-01-08T05:44:59+00:00

That's a great part of it. But 95% of men have insecurities and some sort of low self esteem.

And even if you are truly content with who you are, approach anxiety is social anxiety, it is actually a phobia.

And you can't treat phobias with "self talk", or feeling fullfilled. You can't tell someone with snakes phobia or fear of heights to have inner confidence.

You treat phobias by graded and consistent exposure. Any man, a winner or loser, can start by simple approaches and build his way up. And this is science talk, not just my personal experience.

Going out of your home and approaching 10s straight away is almost impossible to most. No matter how confident you are.

BarbellFanatic · 2021-01-08T04:28:15+00:00

Faaaaaacts bro.

BarbellFanatic · 2021-01-08T12:24:04+00:00

Something is wrong with you if you don't feel anything before going up to talk to a 10. I think it's a bit misleading to imply that you should always be a rockstar CHAD who doesn't have any emotions whatsoever.

Humans can still be nervous, and you can still have approach anxiety and approach hot girls (and fuck).

faithinstrangers92 · 2021-01-08T17:32:01+00:00

I don't even like the term 'high value guy' as that implies that there's an archetype that we should be fitting into when in reality - the most confident guy is the one who is being unapologetically themselves - whether or not the girl sees any value in what they're offering is up to them.

The coolest person in the room is the one trying least hardest to be cool, technically speaking.

That's not to say you should grow your nails and wear new balance trainers and get a bowl cut and stuff - but being self assured goes a long way, and people can detect that pretty well.

BarbellFanatic · 2021-01-08T10:04:36+00:00

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STD_Tyler · 2021-01-08T16:17:39+00:00

I feel like I am beautifully fucked up, and nothing will (thank God!) ever change me. I feel joyful despair about the wonderful possibility of never being able to change. I have this amazingly, beautifully fucked up condition called Asperger's Syndrome, and if I am ever going to become more like myself I'll have to show beautiful weirdness in my demeanor. Like, not even looking at people while I talk to them. I wonderfully hate exhibiting nice guy traits. It is like you are an amazing piece of shit.

Ignore me or be mean.

Jmibbk77 · 2021-01-08T23:37:51+00:00

I disagree, I think approach anxiety has more to do with the idea that you might be doing something outside of what is considered "socially acceptable". For example day game is something most men simply 'wouldn''t do'.

I sometimes feel the pressure because I don't have a good situational opener and I'm not sure if a direct or somewhat random opener will come across the right way.

Although I do have to say, often when I'm feeling really good about myself and the vibe is right I'm more likely to not gaf and go anyway

kronos55 · 2021-01-08T14:01:58+00:00

r/thanksimcured

BarbellFanatic · 2021-01-08T12:49:52+00:00

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4hir3 · 2021-01-08T16:14:07+00:00

10s suck to be honest. Personality is usually shit and they are self obsessed and absorbed, usually have confidence and self-image issues and constantly seek validation because they are unhappy with who they are and put everything into their image and worry so much about what others perceive them to be. There are Unicorns but they are rare

Luzider · 2021-01-08T17:35:52+00:00

Thanks for the book mention. I'm also reading The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden and from what I've read so far, a lot of us believe we're not worthy of good things when we actually are.

Redditorsheaven · 2021-01-13T16:20:43+00:00

Good post OP. I am reading the book you mentioned. However, I don’t think a man just can become very skilled in cold approaching immediately. Even tho you can change your self-image you can’t be just 100% comfortable in approaching

ZiggyZig1 · 2021-01-22T20:37:17+00:00

this book has been on my todo list for like a decade. the reason i haven't read it yet is that it seems to be more exercise heavy than any other book. which is probably a good thing. it just means there's more resistance to it.

how long must one spend on it every day?

Title	Your Last Ever Needed Guide On Conquering Approach Anxiety
Author	BarbellFanatic
Upvotes	366
Comments	55
Date	January 8, 2021 2:34 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kst5gu/your_last_ever_needed_guide_on_conquering/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/your-last-ever-needed-guide-on-conquering-approach.1508251 https://theredarchive.com/post/1508251

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