When will it end?

Moms_Sketti88 · 2025-10-15T00:01:59+00:00

I get this feeling as well, especially as my divorce seems to be near the finish line. Look up sunk cost fallacy, it could be that.

I was comfortable with my life, my house, my money, but could never stand my wife. She was awful to me, my family at times, awful to her family and friends. She was the elephant in the room with her issues. Now that it’s near the end I find my self fearing that I may regret it. But I know deep down I do not love her like a husband should, and I don’t think she loved me in a healthy manner. She was quite abusive and more so throughout the divorce process, physically abusive I might add.

Why did you want to divorce your wife?

**Update - shortly after commenting this she started a toxic and uncalled for argument in front of our child. A clear reminder that the sunk cost fallacy is just anxiety of the unknown.

Own_Chemist_2600 · 2025-10-14T23:21:39+00:00

If you can find a way to be happy… And that may be months away or a year or two years… But if you can find a way to be happy and your children, see that… That will be more important than anything else. Their memories of you happy and enjoying life and being healthy will be the most important memories they ever make of you.

It sounds like maybe they haven't been seeing you happy for a long time.

I wish you well, bud. 4 billion women on the planet… probably 200 million of them you would be a lot happier than with than your wife.

Much love and respect to you… Choose yourself! Choose yourself to the best of your ability!

Work hard. Exercise. Get lots of rest. Read good books. Choose yourself and choose self-respect… That's what I'm trying to do and when I manage it, it makes all of it worth it.

digcycle · 2025-10-14T19:10:45+00:00

This helped me change my perspective that there were benefits for this to happen and it wasn’t all about having to start over : https://medium.com/@cmattice07/7-divine-reasons-your-divorce-was-never-a-mistake-752c612105cb

ClippedWinng · 2025-10-14T19:02:05+00:00

Hang in there, emotions will go up and down like a roller coaster.

My stbxw was a high school drop out. I helped her and she graduated this spring with her Bachelor's. Now I'm not the person who will make her happy. My biggest regret now is not leaving her years ago. I feel used. My emotions have gone up and down like a roller coaster and now I'm just stuck in the anger phase. I want nothing to do with her.

Don't think of what could have been, because if it wasnt now, it would have been the same down the line. Feel lucky you know at 30 instead of ppl like me in my 40s or some of the other guys here at 50.

Check out the audio book codependent no more. There are other books I have checked out since she told me its over that have helped me tremendously, but I think that one might be a good start for you.

Spared-No-Expense · 2025-10-14T18:52:59+00:00

“ I just can't believe she actually quit on us after so many times that I wanted to quit and she wouldn't let me.”

I know this is supposed to be a place of support but this line is pretty telling. You threatened the D word many times (perhaps justified, perhaps not) and then followed through to actually pushing for separation.

Either she is not a good wife and you did the right thing and are just having cold feet because of your family, or she’s actually alright and you screwed up. Either way it’s a woman thing to blame your partner for “letting you” go and not fighting for you to stay… especially when you’ve led the charge to separate.

Perhaps you’ve both made a sport of threatening divorce and left it out for brevity, and if so my apologies — only going on what you said — but if only you have always had one foot out the door, thats super detrimental to trust and believing someone is your thick & thin, sickness & health, ride-or-die.

Whether she deserved to be left or not, I’m not surprised she doesn’t want to sign back up again to live in fear of when you will pull the rug again.

rboller · 2025-10-14T18:47:43+00:00

Feeling similar, but I’m 53. Would love to start again in my late 30s.

IllBrother6221 · 2025-10-14T18:40:28+00:00

You get to start all over with someone you want to be with in your late 30s rather than living a lie for the rest of your life. I know loads of people that started again much later than you and found someone they really wanted to be with. I think you are scared of the unknown, but fast forward to your death bed continuing your current life, is that man thanking you or not?

Title	When will it end?
Author	320ForLife
Upvotes	4
Comments	14
Date	October 14, 2025 6:30 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1o6nn2g/when_will_it_end/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/when-will-it-end.1564118 https://theredarchive.com/post/1564118

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