When kids ask about the divorce…

Administrated · 2026-07-20T02:17:58+00:00

I wish I could tell my daughter the truth about her piece of shit half mother. She is only five so I of course cannot. I have however been do documenting everything, especially the court cases where she lied her ass off to attempt to completely cut me out of my daughters life.

It kills me because just today my daughter asked if I could become friends with her mother because she wants us to get married. I literally had to bite my tongue to keep from saying what I would really like to say. I just told her that what she wanted could never happen but that would never stop me from loving her more than anything in the whole wide world. The I changed the subject.

jimsmythee · 2026-07-20T00:33:44+00:00

I had to tell them the PG / PG13 version.

Their mom is a pill popper. A drug addict to narcotics, muscle relaxers, mood stabilizers, and sleeping pills. She had one stint in drug rehab when we were together, another stint in rehab 18 months post divorce. She's totaled every car she's ever driven. She pops pills and then crashes. Multiple DUI's and 2 overnighter's in jail.

I tell the kids the sanitized version. They were 6-8 years old when I had enough. My last straw was yet another great big DUI crash. This time, the kids were in the car when she plowed into the back of a truck at 40mph. Kids were all banged up with black eyes and goose egg bruises. She was fine because of the airbag.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2026-07-19T21:34:34+00:00

My wife cheated. Kids were all teens at the time and they pretty much put 1 and 1 together. They asked and I confirmed. They said they had a feeling that was the case.

Shineynewflipflops · 2026-07-19T17:24:48+00:00

I just simply said to my kids that there are reasons people should not stay married and left it at that. When they were much older I told them the truth.

DowntownLife_ · 2026-07-19T06:34:38+00:00

My experience of my late teen children is that they don’t care who did what, nor do they want to get into discussions about it.

Somewhat annoying given their mother blew it up but putting my views to them would likely work against me, they just don’t want to know 🤷‍♂️

chohare · 2026-07-19T03:04:38+00:00

Don’t involve them in any details that will cause them confusion or expose them to any toxicity. The romantic relationship and its demise isn’t something that needs to be shared with them. Forget about trying to be seen as the one who is right, it will only cause them pain. Single dad with three kids here who was destroyed by my ex who had multiple affairs. But I have never shared what happened with mine who were 5, 8 & 10 at the time when I left 6 years ago. I just told them they’re mum and I have realized we’re very different and have decided we’d be happier as friends, and that the decision has nothing to do with the kids and we love them very much and will always be there for them. They are all doing great now and have no idea what happened and don’t need to know. All that matters is that they feel safe, loved and supported by both parents. The marriage and relationship details are irrelevant to their well being and it’s best it stays that way.

Chris_Chilled · 2026-07-18T22:34:20+00:00

How old are they?

It’s a complicated situation cause I agree you don’t wanna lie to the kids but the same time you don’t want to cause division with the other parent as much as often time we may have very strong negative feelings about them.

It’s better to focus on the fact that mommy and daddy both love you very much. We just were not a good fit for each other. As they get older, they start to realize the truth of the situation.

Title	When kids ask about the divorce…
Author	Significant_Koala_61
Upvotes	6
Comments	27
Date	July 18, 2026 10:23 PM UTC (3 days ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1v0978a/when_kids_ask_about_the_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/when-kids-ask-about-the-divorce.1585360 https://theredarchive.com/post/1585360

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