As I digest the psychology of my current separation and impending divorce, I realise that despite not being a person of bad character or major character flaws ie cheater, gambler, constantly unemployed, abusive, addict etc and despite being a good and active dad..

I am definitely wearing a lot of fault for the situation I now find myself in, a few things, when the kids came, I prioritised them in a lot of ways, I prioritised my wife’s sleep over mine and slept with my first born so she should rest better for a long time, I didn’t actively push for date nights or baby sitters so that we could hang out more often, I didn’t book holidays and travel as much as I should have, one of the big things I didn’t set boundaries the way I should have and now know better, when she would talk down to me i would often shrug it off, when we were fighting I would admit fault just so the argument could end even though it probably wasn’t me a lot of the time, when she yelled I often didn’t pull her up on it, when she brought back things from the past I had already apologised for 3 times over I let her bring it up.

I didn’t push her to go to counselling when she clearly needed it, I didn’t let go and start the divorce process first or allow it to happen right away when it was clear that the relationship was beyond the point of repair, for the kids of course, not smart but I thought it was workable, it wasn’t.

Anyway long story short, so many different areas that I have to improve upon if I am ever to have a relationship ever again. Thanks lads