I have thought about it for quiet a long time. Going through your partner's phone and computer is seen as something nobody should ever do. People (especially males) will go apeshit on you, if you openly say that you look through your partners devices, even if you find the worst things on there.

While we always had the "gut feeling", we rarely could get proof that easily. Males keep their private little secrets mostly recklessly on their phones/computers.

Here's the thing:

Don't wait for your gut feeling to kick in.

It's a natural reaction to your partner changing his behaviour patterns (body language, use of words, facial expression etc) which come from feelings of guilt or just knowing that what they do is wrong.

If your partner does things he deems as "harmless", your gut feeling probably won't kick in. Since he doesn't think he's doing something wrong. (Being curious about dating apps, looking at women on facebook and instagram)

Just ask him for his phone out of the blue. Don't even be clear about it as in "I want to look through your shit", ask him to look through his photos or his instagram feed just "out of curiosity". Since he doesn't really think he's doing anything bad (in HIS opinion), he won't hide it anywhere and you will probably see right away, if something is alarming in YOUR opinion.

If he reacts angry or doesn't want you to be on his device, it's a huge red flag.

No matter, what all those "people" may say, you have the right to check on your partner and reassure yourself if he's the one you agreed to be in a relationship with. Protecting yourself from harm is the priority you should have.

I think the reaction alone should tell you everything you need to know about your partner.

You don't NEED to snoop around without him knowing. If he's guilty, he will probably use it against you (and let's be fair, most people are brainwashed into thinking that snooping is THE WORST) or get aggressive.

Don't let males who value their "privacy" more than you, into your life. You and your wellbeing should be a priority to him and yourself!