it starts when we are kids

thefemaleequivalent · 2021-04-22T16:01:45+00:00

They think it’s so well meaning as well.

I remember being taken out of a lesson once at primary school, I must have been 4 or 5, because I was sitting cross legged on the floor and boys might see my knickers. Not that they might see any body parts, not that my 4 or 5 year old body had any sex organs that needed covering up and not that a bit of pink knicker fabric mattered in the slightest to boys who hadnt been conditioned to objectify women by then. I remember it making me feel really ashamed at the time.

Mcccy · 2021-04-22T17:02:42+00:00

Ah yes, sounds logical /s

What scarred me was that when I started horse riding lessons, my mom's friend asked her how is she not worried about my h_men breaking. 🧍🏼‍♀️I was like 13 looking 10. Why would you even bring this up???

wagonwheel_ · 2021-04-22T18:04:56+00:00

This happened to me all the time growing up. Had to clean my room because nobody wants a messy wife. Can’t have boyfriends as a teenager because nobody wants a slutty wife. Was trained to see my childhood friends as future competition for husbands. All of it.

bleda_princezna · 2021-04-22T15:51:54+00:00

This is so messed up... Like anyone decent is going to care about a bunch of small scars. I'm sorry you had to listen to this bs your whole childhood 🤦🏻‍♀️

cremebruleecakes · 2021-04-23T03:35:13+00:00

Younger me was very bubbly and likes to skip around the neighborhood when running errands or just because. A couple of middle-aged women told me to stop doing it because it might affect my child-bearing abilities, they mentioned ovaries dropping or something??? Which is incredibly inaccurate wtf?! Anyway, I got so confused and frankly so weirded out that they'd say that to a 10 year old girl.. but yeah, I stopped doing it. Makes me so mad now.

BashRunes · 2021-04-22T16:58:07+00:00

Kid me was just as nontraditionally feminine as I am now. Mostly played with the local boys, preferred boy's clothing, loved to wrestle, liked tinkering and burning stuff. I even tried to learn to pee standing up. The tiny, insulated little Lutheran community in Illinois I grew up in thought it was awful and that I was some kind of demon. Adults always told me that no man would want me, that it wasn't Godly or whatever, that I needed to start learning how to dress and to stop with the toilet jokes.

Luckily it didn't do anything to me (I just reminded them that boys were icky), but I also didn't have any interest in marriage or kids like a lot of girls did. If you did, it would have messed you up bad. Even then it was still very creepy to be that invested in a completely optional part of a kid's future like that. There had to have been a lot of projecting, because a lot of those people had miserable home lives.

Kaleidoscopekitty666 · 2021-04-22T17:26:01+00:00

And this is why I hate the "statistically show boys like to play dirtier and grosser" no, little girls are just discouraged to play dirty (in a good way) and climb trees. Boys are encouraged to do that. It's why I hate statistics. Always ignoring culture.

Reminds me of the "men are better at navigating". I hear this a lot from men who talk about gender differences and I think it's BS. There are studies to back it up though. But in my experience, every man I dated needed a GPS to get around. Meanwhile I can remember every road nearby. My boyfriend can drive 2 miles away and still have no idea where he is (even though he has been there multiple times). I have to be the GPS when he is lost.

In one study for navigating I did read the gender differences are more likely due to culture. heres some quotes from a BBC article covering it.

He told the BBC: "We don't think the effects we see are innate.

"So countries where there is high equality between men and women, the difference between men and women is very small on our spatial navigation test.

"But when there's high inequality the difference between men and women is much bigger. And that suggests the culture people are living in has an effect on their cognitive abilities."

Imagine how many other studies scrotes link how "men are better at ____" when really it's just the culture and not biological. But of course men like to think culture doesnt make a big impact.

Ugh sorry for the long rant. I just hate how people wont let little girls play because they are worried about what men will think of them. And if a man doesnt want you because of a couple scars on your leg, well you just dodged a bullet.

v0ta_p0r_m0ta · 2021-04-23T12:59:05+00:00

Omg!!!! Thank you for sharing this. This reminds me of meee. I was a wild child too. I remember this one time I was playing, climbing a fence and then I fell and had a nice gash on my knee, about 3 inches, horizontal, slowly oozing. I was pretty proud of it because i thought it looked cool. And then I remember my aunt coming to visit and she told me, “ugh, now you’re not gonna be able to wear skirts when you get older.” Lmao. I was so confused at her statement at the time. Now i think back and I’m likeee “I was a frikkin kid, lady!” (I was 7).

Devils_Tango · 2021-04-23T12:49:55+00:00

I was told to stay out of the sun since age 5 and given skin bleaching cream at age 8 because who would want to marry a dark skinned girl? 😒

2021-04-27T02:11:52+00:00

100%. I remember my aunt telling me to cross my legs and sit like a proper girl 🤡

Title	it starts when we are kids
Author	wrongperception
Upvotes	251
Comments	23
Date	April 22, 2021 6:20 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mvyqpt/it_starts_when_we_are_kids/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/it-starts-when-we-are-kids.761885 https://theredarchive.com/post/761885

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