Predators looking for a victim don't like to waste time on women without potential. They want to get their creepy questions over with up front so they don't spend too long on a difficult target.

Isolation check:

Housing situation – do you own your own house? It's not a simple or easy process. You need smarts, dedication, stability and follow-through to become a homeowner. Someone looking for a quick, predatory attack will be put off. A parasite type wanting to move in and mooch might perk up at this info however.

Do you live in a flat or unit? Is it on the ground floor? Do you live alone? All super creepy questions. “Is this something a burglar would ask?”. Something about the idea of a woman in a small apartment appeals to blitz attack predators. Like shooting fish in a barrel. Don't let him know your address.

I was on the phone with a man and said “Hang on, I have to buzz the delivery guy up” and he hung up on me. (implication – I have a lobby security door and I don't live on the lower level – I'm a bad target).

Income check:

Fishing for your exact job title to guess your salary is inappropriate. Predators are looking for vulnerable, low income women so they don't have the resources to leave, and they can financially abuse her or dangle the carrot of being her saviour, or impress her with small necessities. Parasites will light up at the mention that you have a lot of disposable income and you can see them spending it in their heads as you speak.

Support system check:

How close are you to your family? Do you have lots of friends? Do you see your colleagues after work? Do you attend a regular sport or hobby? Are you friendly with shopkeepers in your neighbourhood (regular bar, cafe, restaurant, corner store)? Are you in a lot of groups on social media? “Would anyone notice if you went missing?” You can see a predator's body language shift and slump if you talk excitedly about this cute mom & pop restaurant who treat you like family, or that you call your parents every weekend, or that you share everything in a group chat with your soccer team girlfriends.

Manipulation check:

A predator will attempt to get you to drop your routines and plans and re-arrange your life for him. If you say you're busy on Sundays because you always see the girls for brunch and go to the gym, he'll start the emotional guilt-trips or straight up orders. “I guess you don't want to see me?” “Wow, I'm less important than a mimosa..” “You can skip a day at the gym, you're gorgeous”. “Just this once they won't mind”.

Trauma check:

He'll tell you about his childhood to attempt to get reciprocation from you. He'll seem sympathetic about the plight of women. “It's just so sad how many women experience assault...” or fish for your triggers so he “doesn't accidentally do that”. “Is there anything you're not comfortable with?” Yeah why is he asking this on the first date.

Normalization check:

Have you been abused before? Have you been treated well before? He'll fish out your past experience to find out what level of effort and respect you deem normal. He might disparage long term relationships or marriage, saying that they all become boring, sexless or unhappy eventually. If you say your parents were madly in love for 50 years and your Dad treated your Mother wonderfully the whole time, an LVM will nope out of there.

Mood check:

Predators want vulnerable, sad, depressed and self-medicating women. “The pandemic has been really rough huh? How are you coping?” If you answer that it's been ok because you have a strong support system, good friends and healthy habits, predators will back off. If you admit to being lonely, down and drinking a bit, he'll pounce.

Physical vulnerability check:

Are you disabled, injured, or have a long-term illness or condition? Predators don't mind because they don't intend to be with you for long. Some will use it as a way to get in, offering to help with your groceries or “anything you need, I can bring it over..”. Parasites will drop you because they feel entitled to a functioning bangmaid/trophy. A HVM will suggest activities that are suitable for your condition or while you recover.

Crudity/nudity check:

Sending crude memes, gifs, known emojis (eggplant, peach, tongue), dickpics, nudes of his exes, requests for nudes and jokes about sex acts on the first phone call is grounds for immediate block and delete. Sly attempts involve mentions of wanting a woman who is “comfortable in her own skin”. This used to mean body-positivity regarding weight. LVM have warped it to fish for women who will act like porn stars with the lights on and curtains open, or sex acts in public. Wanting to take you shopping and helping you out in the fitting room is also gross, fetishistic and inappropriate.

Negotiating your ”no” / disrespect/boundary push/negging check:

Zero tolerance, at any time. Block and run.

  • He may be indirect. “My friend struggled with depression… how about you..?”

  • He may “give to get”. “I live in (exact suburb) ..you?”

The fact that he is digging for this info at all is the red flag.

LVM tell you what they want and what they're fishing for from day one.