Whipped husbands

hippydipster · 2015-07-28T17:06:26+00:00

It's hard to understand how miserable a woman can make you, how afraid she can make you, until you're in the middle of it. Scorched earth policy. The one who cares less about the relationship/family/lives involved wins. IOW, because she is ready and willing to damage the kids, the family's financial stability, your career/her career, your social standing, just to keep you in line, that makes her dangerous and scary.

Unless you're willing to be a wife beater, what can you do against these things? You either do your best not to trigger her vindictive side that is willing to destroy everything just to hurt you, or you blow everything up in a divorce.

Divorce is usually the best option, but that doesn't make it easy.

firstpitchthrow · 2015-07-28T16:29:47+00:00

Like how do you exist in a relationship where you 'get in trouble' anyway.

I know a guy who is always "getting in trouble." Wtf. I recently tried to show a Rick and Morty cartoon to him and he came off like his damn wife. "Ok, this is weird." ???? C'mon dude, not even a couple years ago you would've been going off about how funny awesome and cool that cartoon is.

Nowadays in my condo I have Satio girly posters in my living room. Not just the bedroom, but my living room. It used to be "you don't want to do that because it might offend female visitors" and now I just give no fucks. Set the tone in advance, and loudly, that your world is YOUR WORLD and that you'll do what you want. This isn't girly crap hidden away on a computer or phone, nope, it's right out in the open.

I cannot imagine any of my wants, needs, likes, and tastes being compromised because of a damn woman.

rubifen · 2015-07-28T19:59:48+00:00

I was surrounded by those guys every day too when I was working.

The ESTJ is usually a model citizen, and pillar of the community. He or she takes their commitments seriously, and follows their own standards of "good citizenship" to the letter.

ESTJs value security and social order above all else, and feel obligated to do all that they can to enhance and promote these goals. They will mow the lawn, vote, join the PTA, attend home owners association meetings, and generally do anything that they can to promote personal and social security.

Listened to them talk about their lives for years. I saw their big beer guts, their saggy tired looking eyes, their shiny bald heads, and their dowdy dad-clothes.

I had some pretty non-live in girlfriends over the years and lots of fantastic sex, but I was never married and had no kids. Retired in my forties. I'm slim and healthy and athletic. No debts. I go on trips all the time, and there's always plenty of money for my hobbies.

Think about it..

SirGrump · 2015-07-28T20:33:15+00:00

I don't really get this.

I hear all the time people say, "You'll do well when you learn to say 'yes dear' and shit when they refer to interactions with women".

No motherfucker. I don't take anyone's shit because of what they have between their legs.

colinKaepernicksHat · 2015-07-28T18:35:22+00:00

My cousin is gripped by the balls and he's only 21. His wife wanted to marry right away and they quickly had a baby. When she was just his girlfriend she was easygoing, joked around with us, and was a pretty cool person. But there were redflags. She always wanted his attention, always wanted to be by him where ever he went. He was in bliss, we thought they were just in love.

Then she got preggo. She became bitchy and naggy. She complained and cried. From cool and easygoing, to cold and irritable just like that. Whenever she dropped things she called him to pick it up. When she was hungry she told him to cook. The baby popped out and it was understandable that he do these tasks for a while. However it's been well over a year and things progressed worse for him

He has to do everything. He buckles the baby, he fills the bottles, he cleans the diaper, he has to get the baby when it crawls too far. His brothers and father all all BP too boot. When he smokes a cigarette when he visits he says "don't say anything or else she will get mad and kill me".

He works a hard working labor job in a soul crushing warehouse for 12 hours a day plus 2 hour commute. On his 21 birthday we were invited out of town with him. We had plans on exploring the city and having a good time. His wife had brought her fat cousin and she couldn't drive. The drive was over 10 hours also he had to drive the entire way right after work. When we met up with him he looked like a zombie with his bloodshot eyes. He had to rest, and that day went to waist. He awoke later that night and we wanted to explore.

He had to get permission from his 20 year old wife. She told him he couldn't go and started screaming at him. She said " get out " multiple times. Then I joked with my brother, and told him to get out in a mockingly way when he dropped his beer. We all laughed except her, she started to cry. She went in the room and cried and screamed his name. He went in there and she said "they are being mean, I don't like what he said and it was rude" "come on, he wasn't even talking about you" says the husband "I don't care i feel disrespected, whaaaaa" says the wife.

We were planning on leaving without him and we were discussing which place to hit up first. He came out of the room after 30 minutes of getting screamed at and told me "you better apologize to her or she's going to get mad at me" I said "I did nothing wrong here, I don't even know why she's mad" "it was because you said "get out and thought you were making fun of her" "I don't think I should because I did nothing wrong and I was in the other room" he looked at me with angry eyes and said "but that's my wife, you should go apologize to her" she came out of the room with red eyes and gave me a dirty look and went back to the room. I said "I did nothing wrong and there is no need for me to apologize" I thought he was going to punch me with those eyes, his brother brought him to the other room to talk some sense.

Then we went out and she came along unfortunately . Her fat cousin came to she is obnoxious and ghetto. Meanwhile his wife looked pissed off and he had to carry the baby,the baby bag and the babie's hat on his 21st. She kept bringing up the mall, she wanted to shop badly, she stood quiet the entire time on the verge of tears killing the vibe big time. We came to look at the attractions and that's what we did, fuck them.

We went back to the house at 3am and were pooped. We had brought him some alcohol and pizzas. We ate and he got drunk. He got so messed up that we told him to calm down on the shots. Then his wife started to nag again, and once more he tried to coax the unstable creature. Then she went back to her room to cry but he didn't go, he stood with us to chill. Then he had a few more shots... He begun talking about how he hates his life and was talking about suicide. He says he fucked up and is scared to leave. She has him by the balls and is stuck, if he leaves she will take the kid and go back to where she's from, her family won't take kindly to that. And the family of hers is big, and there are some ghetto white knight cousins who would protect her honor. I visualize him leaving her and she goes across the country to live with them with legal custody of the baby. He wont be able to see his kid anymore because he has to travel 2k miles to the west coast and her family will not like that. All she has to do is throw a tantrum in-front of them and make some shit up and they kick his ass and he's flying back to Vermont with black eyes.

I warned him, I told him but he didn't listen. I specifically told him she will switch the second that ring is on the finger or when the baby is conceived. I told him she will have him by the balls and fuck his life up if he tries to leave hell. He told me "what do you know, you never had a serious girlfriend, you don't know what love is" And that was that. When he told me to apologize to his wife I could see he was waiting for me to tell him I told you so, but I didn't have the heart too.

DeeBased · 2015-07-28T22:45:48+00:00

Carl: "I made a Freudian slip at the breakfast table this morning."
Lenny: "What did you say?"
Carl: "Well, I mean to ask my wife to pass the sugar, but what came out of my mouth was 'You fucking cunt - you've ruined my LIFE!' "

pirate6728 · 2015-07-28T15:59:22+00:00

Hey--- don't look to me to give you a wonderful story about the joys of marriage. I'm divorced for a reason-- actually several reasons-- and since then every story I hear from married men mirror the stories you've reported. I can't imagine wanting to do that again.

jakethesnake76 · 2015-07-28T21:58:02+00:00

he couldn't have a smartphone because he'd 'get in trouble' for watching porn or talking to someone on an app.

This is a western problem now where men have been allowed to accept this a acceptable behavior to take from a woman .i see these Beta's every where now, one who stand up to a wife is the worst type of man now. If you don't dominate a woman, she will dominate you..

WidmerBeer · 2015-07-28T16:28:04+00:00

His wife sounds like she's overweight.

ColtsDragoon · 2015-07-28T19:17:02+00:00

When i interact with these men I have an impulsive urge to kill them like shooting a horse with a broke leg to end its misery. This leads me to believe that if i was one of those men i would have that same urge to kill myself.

Maybe it was different in earlier eras when you could beat a woman for pulling this kind of shit or maybe it was exactly the same as it is now and those men just had to grind their teeth and silently endure it. Doesn't matter because as of today this is the way it is and for me personally if its death or spending the rest of my life with a complete piece of shit from the opposite sex.......I choose death.

Narwal_Snausages · 2015-07-28T18:46:21+00:00

AWALT?

Wollem · 2015-07-28T19:12:37+00:00

Briffault's law. He's playing it close to the vest till the kids grow up and leave, likely fully aware she can take him for everything he's worth AND the kids too if he files. Poor bastard dug his own grave.

DarkestJ · 2015-07-29T04:01:14+00:00

Same shit with a buddy of mine, except he's only 28- married for about a year to some ex-slut he accidentally knocked up. His eyes are perpetually droopy and he's a shell of the fun-loving guy he used to be.

I was talking about a certain video game that he was at one time very excited for- perhaps even more than myself- yet today he told me, "I have to sell my PS4, my old lady says video games are for children and she won't let me keep it." I immediately inquired how he would let some BITCH run his life like he's a toddler and he responded with "Happy wife, happy life."

Wrong on both counts, I'm afraid. It's gotten to the point where I have to cut him out of my life completely because he's such a fuckin' drag now and refuses to see reason. Ah well, always preferred playing solo anyway.

MrNobody24 · 2015-07-29T04:15:14+00:00

One thing that has always stuck with me was something I witnessed in a Wal Mart isle one time, must have been around 12 or 13. I was browsing the CD's and this husband was telling his wife (based on how frumpy she looked she was clearly stay at home) about how Molly Hatchet was in town and asked her if he could get a CD, she told him "You don't need a fucking molly hatched CD" and they walked off. My only though was why should a man have to ask to spend the money he makes?

2015-07-28T22:45:53+00:00

tl:dr Don't get married

cagethepepper · 2015-07-28T19:08:20+00:00

Staying together for the kids is the biggest bullshit. My cousins are all fucked up because of that.

FieldsofBlue · 2015-07-29T01:24:19+00:00

I had a girlfriend who actually told me I'm not allowed to watch porn while we were dating. It's pretty fucked that any girl thinks she can control my libido like that, or try so hard to take my sexuality hostage like that.

legitworkaccount · 2015-07-28T16:56:05+00:00

"Don't get me wrong I love my family" ...wait , I actually do.

Don't get me wrong, it's not easy. I still struggle with holding frame, 'cause my wife keeps evolving her tactics to get under my skin; I just keep running my MAP. At the end of the day, I run my ship and make sure that my crew (just my wife for now) is kept safe and healthy. I'm happier and more in control of my life than EVER before.

And you know what, maybe my wife and I won't work out. So what. I'll move on. I've found TRP and with it, there's nothing that can shake me for long.

EDIT:

Removed link to another sub to avoid needless bullshit drama.

gvs77 · 2015-07-29T05:57:12+00:00

That is not true. Kids need both parents around and divorce precludes that. Although unpopular politicly, studies do back that up.

MaunaLoona · 2015-07-29T07:39:53+00:00

He has an outdated flip phone and says he couldn't have a smartphone because he'd 'get in trouble' for watching porn or talking to someone on an app.

Imagine a woman saying that she's not allowed to have a smartphone because she'd "get in trouble" with her husband for talking to someone on an app.

raxical · 2015-07-29T15:08:06+00:00

Ya. I know what youre saying about guys like that. I know a guy who has to ask his wife if he can go hunting. He was excited because he finally talked her into letting him go hunting... but only for 4 hours. He didnt get anything but was all happy about it at work.

I mean, it's all on the guys on this one. If my wife told me i couldn't do something i would laugh at her. I don't think this is a product of marriage but just guys that don't know how to get women or treat women and end up putting the pussy on a pedestal because they're too scared to leave. This behavior only makes the woman even more controlling. Thats not a healthy relationship.

But im right there with you in just standing back and going "wtf?"

rubifen · 2015-07-28T18:54:35+00:00

Go a step further and ask him to go to a bar or hang out. You can change his life.

mgtow4ever · 2015-07-29T00:12:16+00:00

I want to sign up for that! Sounds like a fantastic deal.

cynicalsimon · 2015-07-29T03:36:19+00:00

Heres my example. I'm not sure the specific word for the family member, so I will just refer to him as my aunts husband. First, let me say, the guy is a kind hearted, intelligent man and he's pleasant to be around; my aunt on the other hand, the exact opposite. My aunt is highly neurotic, significantly obsessive bossy, VERY MUCH materialist, superficial, racist, shallow, cruel, unethical, daft..the list go's on and on. Anyways, the guy had a kid with my crazy aunt. The kid is a cool cousin to have but he's picked up on a bunch of my aunt's character traits.. unfortunately. Anyways, since they had the kid, the guy doesn't want to leave my evil, crazy aunt, probably because he doesn't want to be the guy who is a single parent dad who left his kid. He loves his son and doesn't want them to be divorced for him. That's my theory. My theory is also backed up, considering that happend to me and my brother and he knows all about it. The guy is an incredible human being and I'm hurting for him. He's grown on me. His perverted sense of sly jokes...he's grown on me. I love the guy. He's had a heart attack and TRUST ME WHEN I say, ITS BECAUSE OF MY AUNT! SHE USES HIM SO MUCH. LUCKILY, my aunts side of the family is SIGNIFICANTLY wealthy and the husband gets to go to his vacation home in Florida to take breaks from her neroticism(quite frequently I might add) but he shouldn't have to. LET ME ADD, THIS IS THE SAME WITH MANY MARRIAGES. The INCREDIBLE HUMAN BEING HUSBAND, gets trampled on by the wife and everyone pretends its just the way of the world. I'm disgusted by married women, in general. They use, abuse, manipulate, sabotage and make their husbands decay. Furthermore, how much sex do you think these husbands in bad circumstances get!? I'm not advocating cheating...its debateable in ethics, in my opinion. When my aunts husband is in this circumstance, do it under the table man. I wouldn't blame you if you cheated. Sure, the family would be like "fuck you!" now, but later on they would realize...this man had it hard as all shit. Any of you guys have similar circumstances? I was going to write a post about this. Would absolutely love to here stories and takes on this type of stuff! Shit truly boggles my mind. GOOD HUSBANDS, DO NOT DESERVE THIS!!

oldredder · 2015-07-30T02:26:09+00:00

Maybe this man and many like him have mommy issues. Maybe mommy coddled him and daddy was never there so he needs a wife to step in to be mommy 2.0.

I can't be that way so I can only guess what the reasons are leading to this horrible outcome. Seen it many times.

enclosed10 · 2015-07-30T12:05:14+00:00

What the fuck does getting I trouble even mean. What is your wife going to do, ground you? Take away your allowance? Threaten to divorce you...

piugattuk · 2015-07-28T17:35:36+00:00

Without knowing his relationship except what is presented, I inject this, how do we know if he has fooled around before and now this has brought on insecurities in her?

That being said, I'm pretty happy with my marriage, I was at first telling my wife don't do the things she did for me if she's only gonna change later when she "has me" and to this day (7 years later), she not only does all that she did before but even more, now that she is familiar with my likes and dislikes she does all she can to keep me happy by treating me the way I like, on the same token I treat her the way she likes but those no no lines have been established long ago our relationship is built upon the understanding that we don't piss upon each other and have reasonable expectations.

That being said I think it's is the fault of both but more upon the guy to establish boundaries in the relationship and being to liberal with their female has lead to having no real defined leader in the house so the beta tries to control and that is where things go in a wrong direction, if your female cannot accept your lead then you have got to look at yourself or her and determine how you can get this under control because 2 people at the wheel pulling in different directions is a recipe of inability to effectively steer to avoid problems, choose a female that will let a man be a man, the moment any female says the relationship should be 50/50 that is a big red flag that this is going to be 2 bulls in a pen.

My woman will actually cut my toe nails, cook my food, tie my shoes, wash my laundry, give me massages, etc, etc, however the flip side is that I lead and fight the fights for my family, obtain the food, provide transportation, and provide a home, she tells me that she has never felt more secure in her life and also that she is also happy, I rule the roost not with tyranny but with a firm hand upon the wheel, confidence when bad times are around, I let her know and acknowledge her contributions to making things work, I do the things expected of a man and my relationship seems to be working right for 7 years and counting.

gvs77 · 2015-07-28T19:34:18+00:00

This is a long story with many facets... In a healthy relationship, women are right not to tolerate porn. You should make love to eachother.

My guess is that she is emotionally invested in the relationship, hence the jealousy.. He needs to grow a pair and tell her NO.

Title	Whipped husbands
Author	bonusfruit
Upvotes	36
Comments	126
Date	July 28, 2015 3:22 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/3ewook/whipped_husbands/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/whipped-husbands.625378 https://theredarchive.com/post/625378

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