Relationships with Women & The Body Count Issue

lesterbottomley · 2026-06-14T20:46:10+00:00

It gets pegged as insecurity but it's not necessarily so.

For some people love and sex are interlinked and they have no interest in being with someone who can easily divorce the two.

Both viewpoints are valid but they aren't always compatible.

AbysmalDescent · 2026-06-14T17:39:23+00:00

I think a big part of the problem is also that the vast majority of women today are effectively buffet feminists. They pick and choose all the parts of feminism that caters to them, or their egos, but then neglect or oppose any aspects of feminism that is supposed to be about equality(even though it's clear that feminism was never about equality, there was always supposed to be a pretense that it was).

If you look at, for example, something like affirmative consent. The feminist position has always been "men should leave women alone, and wait for affirmative consent before doing anything". The reality, however, is that most women do not behave this way. They look at a man who is waiting on affirmative consent as weak, unmasculine, meek or a virgin/incel. They don't want it and they don't respect it. They want men to pursue them, and to do everything for them, so that they can get by with minimal effort. They never have to risk anything and it protects their egos. They get to feel chosen, in a way that men never do, and maintain a position of power.

If a man does wait for affirmative consent that will never come, most women will simply get bored, move on and wait for the next guy who will be more forward or less considerate. They can just play this completely passive role, knowing that male attention will always exist, because they live in a culture in which men are pressured to pursue. And, the more passive women are, the more men have to assert themselves(creating a self-reinforcing circular problem).

If you look at, as another example, traditional roles in dating. The feminist position has always been "men and women are equal!" or "Patriarchy is bad! Women are oppressed and powerless!", when the reality is that it's women who are enforcing these gender roles on to men. They expect men to effectively behave like their fathers, calling it masculinity or "masculine energy", while expecting nothing from themselves. They will present behaviors of a child as "feminine energy" or femininity. Whenever these roles are reversed, they get repulsed and offended, and claim that they do not want to be a man's mother, when all that is really expected of them is to be an equal.

Women will actively shame and reject men for treating women like equals, while romanticizing men who act like their fathers(unconditional love, providers, protectors, leaders but only when its convenient to women) and look like their fathers(bigger, taller, older). What this also means is that this puts a massive pressure on men to act this way, because men want to have sex and be in relationships. This is especially true because men are generally in a position of scarcity compared to women, because women expect them to do everything and be all the things. Women are, actually, in a position of power and privilege, and using it to demand and enforce a patriarchal system, while also claiming themselves victims and oppressed by "the patriarchy".

Specialist_Track_928 · 2026-06-12T22:07:31+00:00

I couldn’t be with a woman who has high body count, or see sex as something casual, because our worldviews would be profoundly incompatible. To me, having an emotional and sexual relationship with someone is not a casual thing — it is something serious. I couldn’t be with someone for whom I would be, I don’t know, number 10 or 20. And I’m not looking for a virgin either; let’s be real. The other person had a life before meeting you. They didn’t wait to start living until they met you, and neither did you.

That being said, modern relationships of every kind — especially sexual ones — have become very casual. And for women, I guarantee it is so as well. As a vintage romantic monogamist, I was deeply saddened when I first realized this. But now, once I have accepted reality for what it is, I have simply decentered romantic relationships with women in my life. If I meet a unicorn, wonderful. If not, that is fine too. Life can still be good.

You have to decide what matters more to you: what is non-negotiable, your principles, or your need to form a family — and then work with that. But as for me, settling down with some average modern woman just to have a family, while not really being okay with who she is or what she represents, would not make me fulfilled or happy. I think it would make me more miserable and lonely than ever.

Last but not least, sometimes we don’t get everything we wanted from life — and that is okay too.

Chupadedo · 2026-06-12T22:41:28+00:00

Not all women are feminists or have their hypergamy unhinged. Don't lose hope and you may find one. I would search in places where women are not as superficial, like some meditation / religious center. Or reading/ art club.

critical_Bat · 2026-06-12T19:57:03+00:00

First off I vehemently disagree with the framing of this as a male insecurity/fragility issue. Jenny from Forrest Gump was not a role model.

To quote the poet that is Olivia Rodrigo

Used to play a game in my head When I'd date a guy Tally up the girls that he fucked 'Til I start to cry

I have no idea if you are still around the women from your youth and if not then obviously you were not overlooked by the ones you meet today. That fact you feel better about yourself today should also help you understand why you might have been less attractive in the past.

I would argue the effect this has on women will be much worse and they will become more bitter and jaded which isnt good for anyone.

Future-Stretch-401 · 2026-06-13T09:30:59+00:00

Oh dear, you seem to have a very strange idea of who is having sex. There’s no “handful” of elite studs banging every presentable high school girl, and there’s just as many women who are virgins as there are men. By the end of high school more than half of women are still virgins.

Just_an_user_160 · 2026-06-12T21:14:28+00:00

If you just want to smash ,maybe it's not much of an issue, having relationships with a very promiscuous person it's risky tho, if you want a serious relationship, a family that's it, it's kinda like finding a hen's tooth honestly, girls with low body counts are not common, but it's certainly the safest option, high bodycount sounds like asking for problems to me. That said, i don't have sucess in neither area.

Street_Conflict_9008 · 2026-06-12T19:55:47+00:00

I got married when I had nothing and was recovering from an addiction. We now live comfortabily together. We built a life together. We still argue and the like, it isnt perfect, but I know I have someone in my corner in the bad times, and that is important.

The issue you are having is character related.

My philosophy is relationships are based on mutual support.

In the end you might be successful in some areas, but you havent learnt about yourself as a person and what you can offer a relationship character wise, and what you need from a relationship character wise. You place trust in each other.

saiditonredit · 2026-06-12T20:48:10+00:00

There is no correlation between honest feminism ideals and hoeflation, that is just the cope and justification for why they think it is ok to be promiscuous and also try to win the dating lottery. For the record, most men don't think it is entirely ok for men to be that way either.

Not in the context of a monogamous based society where we're trying to uphold certain morals and values, community and family build and it's failing overwhelmingly. Point is, promiscuity is not tied to equal rights, or further education and career and autonomic capacity and opportunities. That part was made up and at best, only modeled after a very small subset of men, if tried to be thrown back.

As a whole, we would rather much see young people get together intentionally and seriously, early and younger and be among their first and early dating and sexual encounters. This is the secret to success; there is plenty of data and research and other cultural trends and outcomes that showcase this.

There are unfortunately some rather broken and misguided people who can't subscribe to these ideals nor fulfill them no matter what and that causes a zombie like spread and effect and for all of the men who just have resigned to it all and say f it, I still have to get my needs met, no one would fault one for it and frankly, what did we expect?

As far as what to do about it. Find an exceptional woman or don't bother. The odds are not in our favor either way. Promiscuity is a strong indicator; stats show loyalty and success can be had at under 10 partners. Also have to look at the context of those other partners, that says a lot, one-nighters, the hot and in demand guys on campus who got it readily and easily or were they all failed more intentional and serious dynamics. Look at the triggers of how the dynamic came to be, did she succumb to push and pull tactics and game and overall physical attraction or was there a familiarity and rapport in advance, and what kind.

The way she also thinks and rationalizes is very telling and her overall outlook on modern and traditional values and dating as a whole. Try to find and get together younger when you have nothing and are not superficially valued, and then this is harder to do but try to find one who is still appropriately younger and does not need to settle or is feeling that pressure and time constraints and still willingly desires and chooses you.

WeedInTheKoolaid · 2026-06-13T00:02:40+00:00

Find a non-western woman.

GuiltyMine3989 · 2026-06-12T19:54:33+00:00

I farted while reading this, proof that i agree 👍

CrankyVGK · 2026-06-12T21:45:53+00:00

Did AI write this?

TheNattyJew · 2026-06-14T01:27:47+00:00

Many women are not running around fucking every man that they see. There are still lots of women who have had few sex partners and are still demure. Focus your efforts on these women. They are less flashy and outgoing than the experienced women, but in the end will be better for you

YoM0mma · 2026-06-12T22:16:54+00:00

I would unfortunately say your view is skewed :( Both genders deal with the exact same problems. There was a lot of women who were not attractive that feel the same way as ya. The key is to stop looking at genders like it matters and treat people as an individual. Your assumptions are holding you back.

Vetril · 2026-06-12T23:52:03+00:00

Why do you care about all that shit? You still sound like the insecure kid who got bullied at high school. Instead you are an adult, and you should focus on living your life. Relationships come as a consequence.

Prestigious-Hold-777 · 2026-06-12T23:15:14+00:00

hey man I understand you im a man of god and I believe that we shouldn't hold peoples pasts over their heads. what matters in a relationship is trust and love and partnership not her ex's. if you wanna get married I think your gonna need to have a more forgiving nature cause your making it sound like its a deal breaker for you which is fine you dont have to be with a woman who has had previous partners but its not fair to ask of your requirements to all people, I think if u look for a virgin woman you'll likely find one, Im currently waiting for marriage and my girl wants the same too. and even if she had previous partners I wouldn't care cause I know she loves me and I would love her either way that is what love is and should be and im eternally grateful that ive met her.

thelioness0809 · 2026-06-12T20:16:31+00:00

Why is your self-worth based in any part on the number of men a woman slept with before you? That sounds like something you need to work out in therapy. And if women have been rejecting you for your whole life, then I doubt other men have much to do with it, especially if women are as inherently promiscuous as you seem to think they are.The common denominator is you, so maybe that's something to work out, too.

Oversdub · 2026-06-13T01:58:10+00:00

Just get yourself a young one at the gym. If you want a girl that hasnt been around the block at least. But youll have to deal with her immaturity. Beats the other options if you ask me.

antixwick999 · 2026-06-13T11:59:52+00:00

If you think about the body count thing is a perfect reflection of how Society is expressively Misogynistic and internally Misandry.

Cause if we transfer this into math. Then bring with a women is +1 and being with man is -1.

Women start with given number and men start at 0.

And further proof of this that it incomperates the LGBT community into this. Especially bisexuals

A lesbian often isn't interested in BI girl for being with a man cause -1, Where as no problem being with Bi person who's only been with women

I doubt a man would have problem with Bi girl who's only been with girls since they +1, even gay men care about the body count thing cause it's -1.

Heterosexual women are also not into men being with men even though they are BI. Cause again the -1 is not the sex it's the guy. The body count argument is reflecting the idea even though it's outwordly aimed at women, inherently it view men badly.

Title	Relationships with Women & The Body Count Issue
Author	UnitCell
Upvotes	70
Comments	80
Date	June 12, 2026 7:27 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1u453fq/relationships_with_women_the_body_count_issue/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/relationships-with-women-the-body-count-issue.1582677 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582677

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