Make a #MeToo thread here?

DaeusPater · 2017-10-18T16:27:32+00:00

MenToo

Optickone · 2017-10-18T16:41:48+00:00

I have women and men on my facebook posting about how ALL men need to feel ashamed because of the #metoo movement.

grasshopa · 2017-10-18T14:29:10+00:00

I dunno man.

I just don't get this rush to identify as a victim. To me, a "victim" is a transitory condition, one which any reasonable and rational person takes steps to rectify. You don't wallow in it perpetually.

Maybe I really am just an asshole through and through, but I just don't get it.

High-Fruit-Trinity · 2017-10-19T02:45:30+00:00

#MeToo

I - a man - have been grabbed/touched-sexually 5 times, all by females. Once (in junior high), with no others around, a girl I didn't know grabbed my arm and wouldn't let go. I struggled and hit her arm while she called for a girl she was with to join. When that happens, it's disturbing. It doesn't matter who does it.

I've also been hit about 5 times; 2 were female, which were un-deserved.

omellil · 2017-10-19T03:19:36+00:00

I don't feel it's inappropriate, however I do disagree because I feel the #metoo campaign is counter productive no matter what perspective I try and view it from. Furthermore, I find it generally distasteful and would like to distance myself from it as much as possible, and if it were to become a 'thing' here, then I'd have to look at it more frequently.

Having just looked at twitter, it seems that expressing sexual interest has somehow been perverted into being viewed as a form of harassment. It's not harassment to look at someone, smile at them, tell them they are beautiful, invite them to coffee or a walk or casual sex in the broom closet if that's what a person is seeking. It's only harassment if in spite of refusal a person persists with unwanted contact. Don't believe the hype.

Throws_outrage · 2017-10-19T09:24:00+00:00

Hi there,

This is a throwaway account I made, because I'm generally what you'd call an SJW, and overall I just haven't got a lot in common with this side of the ideological fence.

Nevertheless, this #MeToo issue seriously rubs me the wrong way. Here's why:

Who am I? I am a man of color. And a foreigner in the country where I live. And a so-called "Anchor-baby" in the country where I was born (although no such concept exists in that country's law, people say what they say).

Why is this relevant?

Vilification - Men [of color] are regularly vilified and demeaned, both in the media and by society at large. The primary example of this is the widespread belief that men are the only gender capable of committing domestic violence, which comes with the corollary belief that women who do commit domestic violence are simply defending or empowering themselves.
False accusations - the traditional protection for people accused of crimes is shrinking for men [of color] in western societies, which means that men are becoming increasingly prone to the problem of false accusations. Additionally, widespread media coverage that names-and-shames the accused means that even innocent people who are accused of crimes will suffer significant consequences.

Nobody admits it publicly, but this problem is especially as issue for Men of Color. Apparently, we are all rapists waiting to happen, who are guilty until proven innocent. Oddly enough, it's the same trope used on men who are Black, Arab, Latino, Asian. It just doesn't matter much. What that means is that:

For me (and for us), these false accusations carry a specifically racist tone to them. False accusations become a systematic tool of racial oppression. That's something nobody talks about. Even men who claim that they are concerned about the whole false accusation issue.
On one hand, it's a serious enough issue that people have been murdered publicly over it. Both as individuals and en masse. On the other hand, it's also such an old racist trope that there's even jokes and porn about it.
Most men know all too well that society has no pity for men who even get accused of any kind of sexual harassment, wife-beating, whatever. What most men don't care to think about is that society DEFINITELY has no pity for Men of Color who get accused to those things.
I won't lie, there's a certain amount of fetishism about men from my background. Which apparently means that it's okay if I, or my cousins, or my dad gets sexually harassed by women. Especially ones in positions of power. And nobody ever cares.

What this all means is that although I understand that virtually all the women I know, even remotely have something to say on the #MeToo issue, a lot of them seem to be complaining that when they made their complaints public, a man somewhere asked them if they weren't making false accusations for personal reasons (or otherwise didn't take them seriously). Wanna know why? Because men everywhere have seen this kind of false accusation used as a tool of bigotry and prejudice. I certainly have seen that happen (and can answer some brief questions about it). And often, the men dealing with it don't find it funny.

So, I came here because I wanted to talk.

PlastIconoclastic · 2017-10-18T14:44:37+00:00

There was literally one on this sub yesterday. He had to delete his me too after death threats.

abend2 · 2017-10-19T04:47:15+00:00

MeToo

I'm a gay man. When I was in my early 20's I was "selectively" out. Meaning I pretty much only told certain people that I trusted. Also I would never lie about it if directly asked. I just didn't wear a big scarlet G on my chest.

Anyway I was waiting tables at a restaurant and one of the waitresses found out I was gay. She would come on to me all the time and tell me that she could "change me". She'd also grab my ass on occasion.

I never considered it sexual harassment. It was just kind of uncomfortable and awkward. If it were happening to a women I would have seen it as harassment. But, as a gay man, I wouldn't say anything to management because A) I didn't find it that traumatizing, B) being gay, others would see it as me being a drama fag, and C) as a man, I'd be expected to "man up" and "deal with it".

omegaphallic · 2017-10-19T13:51:47+00:00

I've been sexually assaulted by a girl as a kid, but I don't care for metoo hash tag, it's weirdly like making it into a club or something, not interested.

angels_fan · 2017-10-19T19:21:34+00:00

After all this started, I was like, "hmm... Have i ever been sexually assaulted?? "

I thought back hard and remembered a time where my friends brought home a slut. We were sitting there talking when suddenly she reached over and grabbed my dick. I was like "whoa!" and pushed her hands away several times.

I hadn't thought of this for years. It didn't scar me. I didn't need therapy from it. It was some crazy chick that went too far.

I wish women didn't feel the need to get emotionally traumatized every time a guy makes a move on her.

Rethgil · 2017-10-19T22:19:29+00:00

I've been sexually assaulted by four different women. I've even reported two to the police. Nothing happened. They didn't even contact them despite me stating I had some evidence. They didn't ask for it.

This should be a me too about the double standards men face n society and legally.

Too many men have been abused by women.

This is a men's rights sub, we know the role women have with regard to us.

There should be one for abuse specifically at the hands of women. You'd be shocked by the numbers you would see.

Liv47 · 2017-10-18T14:14:19+00:00

I am not seeing that. James Van Der Beek is just one of a number of men in Hollywood coming forward about sexual assaults early in their careers. Transgender people (such as myself) have also spoken up amid the MeToo campaign.

Make a #MeToo thread here?

Comments

MenToo

Irony

Title	Make a #MeToo thread here?
Author	neurorex
Upvotes	39
Comments	71
Date	October 18, 2017 2:07 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/776rh7/make_a_metoo_thread_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/make-a-metoo-thread-here.912738 https://theredarchive.com/post/912738