He is loyal, responsible and family oriented. Everything my ex who strung me along wasnt, and everything I thought I wanted after him. But..

ResponsibleUmpire752 · 2023-12-10T14:08:29+00:00

Is he stingy on dates or just for himself? If he's generous toward you, but less willing to spend on himself, he may have grown up being careful with money or material things may not be especially important to him. My husband is endlessly generous with me but not so much interested for himself unless he really wants something. So maybe focus on how he treats you, rather than what he buys for himself as a single guy. Hope that might be helpful!

TalkingConscious · 2023-12-10T14:09:36+00:00

Sounds like my so. Grew up in a family that came to America with little money, so they try to save up as much and make items and furniture in the household long lasting. If it really bothers you, ask him to go to stores with you and maybe gift him something new. I've done that and eventually my so would replace some things, but I still understand how much saving is important to him.

Mom_stealerr · 2023-12-10T13:50:34+00:00

Maybe he's just a guy who grew up poor and know the real value of money and where to spend it

jgstromptrsnen · 2023-12-10T15:31:56+00:00

Being fiscally responsible is a part of being responsible 😉

Egoistchan · 2023-12-10T17:54:13+00:00

As someone who grew up in poverty and still cuts stuff up by hand, I get it.

You say he's loyal and wants a family. That's rare these days. Having flashy stuff or frivolous spending isn't necessary for a successful relationship

mistressusa · 2023-12-10T17:51:02+00:00

Is he stingy towards you? Because there can be other reasons why someone is reluctant to upgrade still functioning things. For ex, I am reluctant to replace still functioning appliances for environmental reasons, unless I know the new technology has much improved energy efficiency. I am a bit more willing to upgrade furniture because I don't want my house to look decrepit.

bunniebell · 2023-12-10T14:48:58+00:00

I believe everyone has a major flaw and if this is his only flaw, it could make sense. Gifting him new things would help, as another comment suggested.

Objective_School_738 · 2023-12-10T15:38:36+00:00

Find ways to spruce it up with your feminine energy. Some nice couch covers you could put over the old couch and throw pillows for comfort will go very far. For the kitchen shredder, use Brillo pads or steel wool to remove the rust. Hopefully he’ll appreciate the extra effort you put into respecting his old stuff.

CranberrySoftServe · 2023-12-10T18:02:09+00:00

Do you work/are you able to afford your own things if you want to buy them? Are you worried that, should he be in control of the money (as is traditional), you won't be able to buy things if he doesn't approve?

Business_babe_2 · 2023-12-10T13:34:56+00:00

I couldn’t date a man that is stingy, so I don’t. It’s part of the vetting process to look for undesirable traits and if you can deal with them. If you can’t, you should probably move on because the chance of this changing is very small in my opinion.

mangoesoes · 2023-12-11T05:30:29+00:00

I grew up with a very stingy dad and my family suffered a lot as a result of that. He would avoid vacations, make my mom split every family meal we ate at restaurants, never buy new clothes for himself. It is truly some sort of mental illness.

I have made it a point to never date a man who exhibits signs of being stingy. To me, it’s a huge red flag. There’s a difference between financially responsible and stingy. A provider man, who wants to improve your life, is meant to be generous.

Independent-Hall4929 · 2023-12-11T08:58:49+00:00

How does that affect you? Are you married?

AutoModerator · 2023-12-10T12:59:05+00:00

Title: He is loyal, responsible and family oriented. Everything my ex who strung me along wasnt, and everything I thought I wanted after him. But..

Author Zealousideal_Dog3919

Full text: But he is extremely stingy. He would never buy any new furniture, he will keep his old one which is decades old and ugly. He even wouldnt invest in small things like for example a kitchen shredder. His is old and rusty and he said he doesn't need a new one cause he already has one. It drives me crazy..

Does it make sense at all?

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Luscious-Grass · 2023-12-10T19:15:09+00:00

You need to ask him more questions about this. Tell him what you imagined for yourself, whatever that is, and ask if he sees compatibility with that vision or if he’d see issues.

You shouldn’t just breeze past this and try to accept something deep down that would disappoint you later. Or just hope he’ll change or be different. Ask him. Talk about it. Maybe you can find acceptable middle ground.

operation-spot · 2023-12-21T17:31:41+00:00

How can he be a provider if he won’t provide you with money to buy things? Matching on paper is not the same as being compatible.

Title	He is loyal, responsible and family oriented. Everything my ex who strung me along wasnt, and everything I thought I wanted after him. But..
Author	Zealousideal_Dog3919
Upvotes	7
Comments	21
Date	December 10, 2023 12:59 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/18f33g2/he_is_loyal_responsible_and_family_oriented/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/he-is-loyal-responsible-and-family-oriented.1240389 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240389

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