What Changed Your Mind?

hockey_puck · 2014-11-16T23:13:20+00:00

I'm sort of a weird case, I guess. I was raised mostly by my very traditional grandmother. We considered ourselves to be "feminist" because we were in favour of equal civil rights, believed a woman should have the right to have a career instead of a family if that's what she really wants, believed in access to equal education regardless of gender, and believed that there should be measures in place to protect women from domestic violence and other forms of abuse. My grandmother was born before women's suffrage was a thing, and grew up starving and watching her mother get brutally beaten by her alcoholic, spendthrift father, so our definition of "feminism" was extremely archaic and I had to learn the hard way when I got to college and took a truly awful women's studies class that by the modern definition, I am no feminist, apparently. These "Social Justice Warriors" are simply misappropriating the term to their misandrist, drama-seeking ends. They are not feminists. Feminism is about choice and opportunity, about egalitarianism, or so I was taught. But apparently, if you don't believe that women are superior to men...you're a misogynist. Right.

Where I got turned off toward modern feminism was watching my parents fail at marriage. My mother wanted the career and the family, and was bitter toward my father because he was the breadwinner. She didn't (still doesn't) cook or clean, and became morbidly obese remarkably quickly after the marriage took place. She was too busy "dating around" to raise me when I was a small child, and then when she and my father reconciled, married, and had my brother, she was too busy with her career as a nurse (though it was part time) to be much of a mother or wife. She had a massive victim complex, and though she was downright abusive toward my father and me, would fit right in with any of the SJWs you see on Tumblr. Needless to say, my parents have now been divorced for a decade. I got to see exactly what NOT to do as a wife, which was useful in its own weird way. And this modern "feminism" (along with a healthy dose of mental illness) is exactly what made my mother feel entitled to act the way she did.

-peppermint · 2014-11-17T04:35:07+00:00

I'm still a feminist, I just have perspective. Women in the developing world are being forced into marriage, kidnaped, raped, and sold into human trafficking... So as far as feminism is concerned, that takes my attention.

What made me a RPW though was... perspective lol

I met my SO and I was falling for him hard, he was doing things that were just so sweet, like on our first date he asked what my favorite Ice Cream(Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia!) was, and a few weeks later surprised me at work on my lunch hour with a cooler, two spoons... and Ben & Jerry's! He's never stopped doing things like this, even to this day.

So when he started saying things I thought were Red Pill type stuff(I don't even think he knows what TRP is), I was intellectually confused, but also kind of mystified by his masculine charm. I think that was the first time I realized that all of TBP mocking of "alpha's" was from people who had no idea what they were talking about, because my boyfriend was incredible sweet, but still very much alpha!

So then I found RPW.... Started reading.... Started trying some ideas out. and everything clicked.

Perspective!

I watched my relationship transform into what it is now and it was like moments of epiphany's that I'm still kind of getting now as I've settled into this dynamic.

I feel like feminism gets a bad reputation on reddit and the internet because things are so fast paced and vocalized like never before, but I still feel I can identify as a feminist and as RPW, because that to me is what feminism is about, I want a husband, I want to have his babies, and I want a family.

If other women prefer to have a career over that, fine, it's just unfortunate that if you ARE RPW, people tend to get judge-y, but they just are ignorant, only see RPW, and start making assumptions.

I have got to stop writing these dissertation-type posts. My goodness, it's just I'm happy to be here and this is my favorite community. I read everyone's replies too, I love the insight I've gotten from here.

cheers everyone ; )

KlaiFrai · 2014-11-16T21:35:58+00:00

I changed my mind long before I came here, and finding this place just helped to improve myself further.

Finding TRP and RPW just put words to how I was doing things. It's nice to talk with ladies who don't blame the world for their flaws and instead try to be better.

mintdrive · 2014-11-16T21:13:26+00:00

I think this is my first comment here, so hi ladies! Sorry this is so lengthy. I guess you could say I used to be influenced by feminism in some ways, though I've always held the idea that promiscuity is generally bad for society, so that's one point they never won me over on.

I've been with my SO for 2 1/2 years at this point. We got together when we were still in high school, and I had a bit of a control freak mindset (kinda got that from my dad). So, yeah, we ended up having a lot of problems because of that. We've grown up a lot together since.

During a pretty bad rough patch we had at the beginning of this year, I came across TRP, probably because someone mentioned it in another sub. Well I ended up not really liking the attitude over there, because at the time it was not nearly as LTR friendly from what I could see as it is now. But, I ended up finding RPW and liked the advice I saw. It was weird to adjust to the idea of not being in control all the time, but I took the advice I found here and put it into practice. Since I've done that, our relationship has improved so much, and we're closer than ever.

So, I guess what changed my mind was seeing the improvements in the relationship. Wow, sorry for the essay everyone, there's much more I'd like to write. You guys are awesome, thank you!

[deleted] · 2014-11-16T22:41:11+00:00

I was never a feminist, but I had a certain view of the world that was influenced by feminists around me.

When I graduated from high school, I didn't want to get married, I didn't want kids, and I was going to be a pharmacist so I never needed a man to financially support me. I remember thinking to myself, "well all this money sounds great, but what's the point of having a lot of money if I go home to an empty house every night?" This was the first time that my subconscious anti-feminist feelings began bubbling up and it only increased from there.

I spent the first few years after high school fighting who I was until I met my husband and everything fell into place. It all made sense after that.

Bea_Noemi · 2014-11-16T23:10:34+00:00

I always knew deep down I wanted a "real" man, an old fashioned relationship. Unfortunately I didn't have a strong traditional female role model so I didn't act the part for the dynamic I wanted and I'm sure that contributed to my failed relationships in the past. There is something wonderful and fulfilling knowing I put my spouse first and I will receive love and fidelity in return. I have approached scenarios with "what did I do to contribute to this?" in all aspects of my life BUT love, until this relationship.

sugarcrush · 2014-11-17T03:27:33+00:00

I used to label myself a feminist, I was never a strong one but more of the "choice feminism" type. Then I realized that even the other "choice" feminists seemed to believe that only certain choices were correct. Like yeah women could technically choose to shave, or wear makeup, or be feminine, or stay at home, but their choice was wrong and they were judged pretty harshly. This and other things bothered me enough that I no longer agree with or wish to associate myself with the movement.

[deleted] · 2014-11-17T03:42:38+00:00

I was sick of being angry. I was sick of viewing men as the enemy. I was sick of blaming "society" for the way things were. I was sick of being unhappy.

frozen_strawberry · 2014-11-17T08:17:11+00:00

I was raised by a feminist single mother. she always wanted to work but stayed home after i was born and when my brother was born. i think she was jealous of my dad for going to work and advancing his carreer. they got divorced and she was single for 10 years. didnt make her happy either but at least she got to advance her career. when i was in high school i always said i wanted kids and wanted a husband to take care of them. i started changing my mind early this year. just kind of figured out for myself that working all the time (or studying for now) is definitely not what makes me happy. my mom is starting to notice that, too but she doesnt really have a choice since her new husband is unemployed.

anyway. i kept telling my boyfriend how i weirdly took pleasure in taking care of him (as in cooking mostly) and he introduced me to RPW. have been hooked ever since and i've posted a bunch on here but recently switched my reddit account after the other member (almost?) got doxxed.

roboticyogi · 2014-11-17T22:07:15+00:00

In high school, I purposely dressed like a tomboy because I wouldn't (couldn't?) accept the double standard that women were supposed to be feminine and look nice. I wanted to be different, so I claimed I didn't want to get married or have kids, and ended up being the same as most other women. (Though I always claimed I wasn't a feminist!)

After another failed relationship, I realized there was something I was doing wrong - you know the definition of insanity. I started googling relationship advice and stumbled on the manosphere. As tough as it was to read at first, I couldn't deny how well it fit reality. As I found more female-friendly blogs, I was finally able to accept the differences between the genders and how our roles can fit together.

freshairee · 2014-11-17T04:04:29+00:00

I actually found one of those online self-help dating "guru" people first. This woman explains the foundation of RPW principles and it was an eyeopener for sure. Then I found this sub a short while after- now I'm just exclusively on this sub.

My mother always told me she didn't want me to be a push over and to be a strong woman. But when I thought I was being strong I was actually coming off as nagging and rude- shit testing everywhere! Whenever I did that I never felt good after, and now I don't remember the last time I've done or felt that way.

Feminists want so badly to fight whats already programed into us instead of embracing our strengths as women.

[deleted] · 2014-11-17T20:33:01+00:00

I was already beginning to get frustrated with and bewildered by internet feminism (most famously, Tumblr feminism). I was finding it to be more and more insane. Well, C introduced me to TRP via a link to some post explaining the core tenets/the basics (can't remember what it was for the life of me, though), which was a real gamble now that I think about it. I read it and just kind of tucked it away as "Well, that's interesting." Later, I found myself revisiting it and rereading it. I began looking at more of TRP and found this sub. I realized a lot of this was making sense to me on both a logical and emotional level (mainly logical). I then renounced feminism and began working to make myself more of a RPW because I realized how badly I was behaving towards C for no good reason.

SuperSlavisWife · 2014-11-17T08:12:57+00:00

I actually changed my mind before this. I was a Marxist Feminist at first because the Marxist perspective made sense (still does), so I assumed their solution would also work. Then an Anarchist Feminist because I realized Marxism was only applicable to primary sector workers and didn't allow for travel, services, etc, and would result in the world becoming more primitive bar the cities; however democracy didn't hold a solution as the people will always choose what is most immediately pleasing to them. Then I discarded the feminism when I realized that, in total Anarchy, feminism wouldn't exist at all; some women would become Shield Maiden types and workers, but most would still choose feminine paths, and we couldn't have Anarchy that forced someone to take a path for "equality". Then, having embraced what human nature drives people towards, I reconsidered national, ethnic or social tribalism and how each provided benefits within the structure of the modern world. However I ultimately concluded that we are past the point of recreating tribes, at least for now, so I settled back towards not caring any more. If we could rebuild something, Anarchy or Monarchy would be better options for most and for society, but nobody is going to choose either of those because people are scared of not being protected by Daddy Government.

But yeah, that's my path from Marxist Feminist to Right-Wing Tribalist Redpiller.

And you want to know the funny thing? Everyone hates the same people, they just call them different things. What Marxists call the Capitalists, Nazis call the Jews, Voters call the Anti-our-nations, Anarchists call the Elite, Tribalists call Enforcers, etc, etc, etc. All the same people, we just stick labels on them based on the reason we think they have power.

Title	What Changed Your Mind?
Author	StingrayVC
Upvotes	13
Comments	23
Date	November 16, 2014 8:03 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2mho7p/what_changed_your_mind/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-changed-your-mind.85022 https://theredarchive.com/post/85022

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