What are your feminine skills?

Gardrothard · 2017-04-10T07:39:30+00:00

Being present

After 4 years in engineering I've turned into a complete opposite from my former self. I used to find beauty in things, to appreciate them just because of their existence. And then, 4 years later I've realized that I've become this cold and too pragmatic and calculated person. For example, I love flowers. But, instead of buying them I saw it as a waste of money since they would die in a few days/weeks.

The male energy is connected to achievement and results, while female is about being. Working for future is great, but it means nothing if you can't stop and enjoy the present, since you're always in the present.

I hope I made that comprehensible. It's kind of hard for me to explain.

True confidence

The biggest change is not feeling guilty about taking care of my appearance and being feminine. I used to purposely make myself uglier by not taking care of my hair and what I was wearing. I was afraid that I would look too shallow or incompetent. Also, there are around 30% of women in my school and most of them don't really look good. Their hair is greasy, no makeup, clothes that don't fit... Just the basic care would make one stand out and I was afraid I would look like an idiot. Now, I enjoy doing my makeup and watching videos about it, I enjoy putting on masks and taking care of my hair. I enjoyed these things before, but I was always judging myself for that. In fact, I used to judge myself for everything that was feminine. Partially because when I was younger girls made fun of me having long hair, refusing to wear pants, not having a boyfriend, being fragile and shy. Then I spent 4 years living with my father only and started to see him as my role model. Anything that was different from what he was was wrong and needed to be fixed. Being thrown into engineering after that just made it worse. I used to feel that I was handicapped for being a woman. I felt embarrassed about any feminine trait I had.

Two months into reading RPW, I was walking one day and I was proud that I was a woman. I was so grateful that I am one, for the first time.

I never realized how much of my misery was caused by this inability to accept who I am. Now, I feel so content and happy. I've never felt so good in my life. So, thank you, RPW, you are amazing community and it's been a blessing to stumble upon you.

Willow-girl · 2017-04-10T11:55:17+00:00

Since I grew up with 1950s-era parents (though they waited 'til the 60's to have me) I had feminine skills drilled into me from the time I could walk (like a lady, lol). I can iron like nobody's business and even (the holy grail of 1950s feminity) fold a fitted sheet properly! I did not appreciate these lessons at the time (oh HAIL no!) but now I'm glad for them. Thanks, Mom!

okaygirl123 · 2017-04-10T09:56:34+00:00

I'm not sure whether this is considered "feminine", but I write a lot, and it's one skill I really pride myself by. Also, music, I play the sitar.

So...Art, writing and music for me. But truly feminine stuff? I make a mean bowl of ramen

LowKeiB · 2017-04-10T15:18:52+00:00

I'm getting really good at baking from scratch, I've been making bread recently, I love doing it. Cooking I'm slower to learn because my husband likes doing it. I've been sewing since I was 16. I've also been crafting a lot recently, my Pinterest boards have tons of ideas I've been using.

ecossecho · 2017-04-10T12:40:00+00:00

You know, I was trying to think about this lately, because the main issue people seem to have on this subreddit seems to be with MMV/finding commitment from men, and I have almost the opposite problem - I don't have a high SMV but when I date a man for more than 3 months and we live in the same city, he'll start talking marriage. It just predictably happens and it's... kind of annoying? It almost feels like the flipside of the more common "men want to use me for sex" complaint. Men just see me as a wife and mother I guess. And I'm not super conservative, I have been a blue-haired feminist.

So this was what I came up with when trying to quantify it...

"Soft skills": I'm self-confident but not a jerk, I'm very warm and comforting. My boyfriend says I'm the kindest person he's ever met. I like to encourage people and always try to see both sides of issues. I try not to push my own agenda on other people, but will make a couple points and quietly stick to my own beliefs. I stand on principle. I will detach myself from people who have proven themselves to be flaky or toxic but I don't hold grudges against them as people. Caring for people makes me happy and I want a bunch of kids.

"Hard skills": I'm an expert knitter, cook, and childcarer. I'm passable at sewing, first aid, baking, gardening, and keeping house. I'm into literature and nature. I'm not good at cosmetic stuff but I do dress in a feminine way.

Bed skills: Very enthusiastic about sex in general, and super awesome at blowjobs apparently. :P

blindedbythebrights · 2017-04-10T15:34:29+00:00

Did not develop these skills after RPW, but learned to value them more:

Empathy. Developed this skill in my psych MSc, and I would say the ability to give your full attention, listen and make others feel accepted and understood is the most powerful "feminine" skill you can have.
I'm a picky eater, that helped me grow into an intuitive cook :) I know how to combine spices and flavours and can estimate how things will turn out, so I never use recipes and can just invent what I feel like having (or copy something great that we had at a restaurant before)
Not my inital perception of it, but I am very sensitive to sound, smell, noises, flavours, ... I have always thought of it as a nuisance, but my BF loves it and says he somehow thinks it's very feminine.
People tell me I have a good sense of style, in both the way I dress and in decorating our house.
Children and pets like me. It's all about the attitude you unconsciously reflect.
And I give the best head massages and back rubs!

Writing this up feels like such a brag fest :D

youreallmeatanyway · 2017-04-10T16:09:27+00:00

Not a lady, but...

I can cook
I'm great with my nieces
I keep a clean house

Can't sew for shit, though.

WeCaredALot · 2017-04-10T20:32:38+00:00

I'm 'feminine' in the sense that I'm really into artsy things -- writing, making music, visual design, etc. I won't say I'm particularly good at any of those things, lol, but I definitely see a lot of inherent value in art and opportunities for personal growth since I can be really perfectionistic and self-critical when it comes to my own creations.

Other than that, I also really enjoy fashion, beauty, and cooking. I'm on a weight loss journey right now, so I can finally wear the clothes I want, but I keep a journal of the style I want to have once I'm where I want to be. And I'm not the best cook, but I love to eat (hence the weight loss journey, lol), and I find cooking therapeutic and fun.

The hardest feminine skill for me is the nurturing and submissive attitude. I'm sweet, cheerful, and polite (people often tell me this), but I have a hard time being a follower and/or submitting to any kind of authority. If I have to do it (i.e. at work), then I have to follow it up with copious amounts of solitude and downtime. I don't believe in that super masculine, hard, insensitive persona that some career women like to take up, but I'm too inconstant, self-oriented, and freedom-loving to be super feminine in a nurturing or submissive way.

[deleted] · 2017-04-11T02:49:22+00:00

I am a SAHM so I have fully embraced my feminity and I love it. I remember a time when the idea of cooking dinner every night was exhausting. Now I love it. I love experimenting and being creative with it. Dinner every night takes me an hour or more but I find so much satisfaction when my husband comes home and tells me how good my food is. :)

I love decorating our house and doing crafts and home improvement projects.

I've recently started paying more attention to my hair, makeup, and fashion. I mean I have always been presentable, but now I am experimenting and being creative with my style and I love it! Taking care of myself in this way makes me feel better and therefore makes me a better wife and mother. I can relate to what someone else said about feeling guilty for taking care of myself (why ok earth did I ever feel that way?) but I am glad to have rejected that and opted for feeling pride in my appearance.

I love doing sewing projects and crafts but I have a hard time accomplishing much with a toddler!

I think above all I have a feminine nature in how I interact with others. People tell me how nice I am, and I think they can sense that I genuinely care about people around me. I want to make people feel loved and I feel that is a feminine skill that I have developed.

ThatStepfordGal · 2017-04-10T07:42:23+00:00

Definitely I had a clearer view of expectations and goals after learning RPW :) Not nagging, letting him lead, learning to listen..I had a vague idea of these but didn't really have standards to go by. As for before RPW, I definitely knew how to dress and carry myself in a feminine manner. My hobbies are also very feminine, I knit, work tapestry and sew (at a basic level), I also love baking and cooking. It took me two years to really be comfortable with my makeup skills and colour palette.

Landry86 · 2017-04-11T00:09:16+00:00

That's awesome that the sub has helped you! And I love the "ambitious housewife" mentality

My skills are....

Cooking! < for sure! If the captain (or anyone else) is hungry I always make sure to whip up something to eat! And what's more important is that I don't always necessarily eat things myself when I cook. I ONLY eat if I'm hungry: that's a major factor to maintain a figure. Just because you're cooking and it's mealtime doesn't always mean you should eat. I try to get feedback on my cooking as much as I can also (it's the only way to improve!)

I'm pretty good at homemaking and interior design.... I'm good at saving money in that category

I love love love giving my captain back massages! It's such a wonderful experience for us both!

I also have a lot of mommy instincts. I enjoy babysitting my friends children and I love spoiling the pets

Areas I need to work at:

Fitness (I haven't been running in a while). After Easter I plan on making this my focus. Instead of relying on caffeine for an energy boost I want to exercise and eat cleaner so I can have more energy that way

Cleanliness: I need to organize my home (you know, spring cleaning)

Grooming: my nails and eyebrows are due for a trim 😌

x_leaf_on_the_wind_x · 2017-04-11T00:17:40+00:00

My light-hearted giggling, my wide-eyed wonderings, and my no-holds-barred cuddling.

padma_sarasvati · Mon Apr 10 16:07:46 2017 UTC

Prior to RPW:

Not sure if conventionally feminine, but... writing. Languages & literature and the humanities have always been my strong suit, and I consider my language feminine in terms of my writing style (abundant use of metaphor and other literary devices).
Art. My favourite forms of artistic expression within visual arts are painting, mixed media / cross-disciplinary media, and audiovisual stuff. I am greatly influenced by Impressionism (Monet) for its soft and ethereal qualities, as well as Post-Impressionism (Van Gogh). + bits and bobs of contemporary art, mostly by artists in the region I reside in.
Makeup and fashion! There is no doubt that I have always been highly feminine from an early age - my extensive collection of Barbie dolls and princess-like dresses in childhood could probably attest to that! It helps that my mother has RPW-like traits herself, and decided to raise me as a 'girly girl', as opposed to adopting gender-neutral parenting, as advantageous as the latter might be for some people.

My mother is the epitome of femininity and womanliness in terms of her personal aesthetic and demeanor, and still managed to retain her femininity while thriving in what would conventionally be a masculine career field (business and finance) as a working woman many years ago.

I don't think I have ever seen her being unfeminine and letting go of her appearance, even until now after her retirement - she looks younger than her age and she is often mistaken as my sister. That being said, the age gap between us isn't very wide (25 years) and that is the sort of dynamic I prefer (I don't like a huge age gap and would like to have a similar age gap with my own children as I do with my mom). Anyway, digressing now...

Being a caring and nurturing figure... for as many people as possible (I was told that I have an 'eldest sister' vibe because of that; perhaps being an only child with only younger cousins who I regard as my own sisters has managed to produce the same effect or outcome).
Cooking. I cook daily, partly because I find it therapeutic and partly because I don't want my mother to feel exhausted by it, and while I have largely received honest positive feedback so far, I strive to improve and learn to make even more dishes (especially those native to my culture), because outside food has become largely underwhelming for the price, and cooking is actually more economical!
Cleaning and crafting my living space - homemaking as it stands. This is a trait that I admittedly still struggle with, but like all other habits, it takes discipline, and unless I fall into another severe depressive episode (God forbid), I have little to no excuses to avoid this. My mother is the queen of cleanliness and orderliness, and those traits are reflected in everything about her, from her personal aesthetics to the look of the space we inhabit, and I aspire to achieve that standard.

After RPW:

Listening skills. Basically paying attention to my own solipsism, if not immediately removing it from my psyche, and being aware of my knee-jerk reflexes and defense mechanisms while learning to replace them with healthier communication skills. Granted that I'm still not the best at it, but I am making some progress with most people. Unfortunately, some relationships are irreparable, usually because some people like to equate being caring and empathetic to being gullible and weak. As much as I want to sincerely forgive some people and reconcile with them, self-preservation and self-respect trumps that desire, which results in acting in a way that makes me appear more cold, callous and ruthless than I really am by cutting them out of my life entirely, which, in my humble opinion, is not a bad thing at all.

paesmith · 2017-04-14T20:50:52+00:00

The thing I'm most proud of is my baking skills. I always bring something I've made to parties with my friends, so I'm known as the "grandma" of our group. I'm really in to card making too, which I guess isn't really a big skill among anyone under the age of 50.

isabeavis · 2017-04-27T18:38:06+00:00

I don't see these things as 'feminine', more just 'general life skills'.

I'm a great cook. I can open the fridge and come up with a delicious meal with what's in there and we don't often eat out because I can usually make better at home.
I can sew, knit and crochet. I often make skirts and dresses for my daughters and crochet blankets, hats & scarves. I'm also really good at refinishing furniture.
I'm good at interior design and my home always looks good (people who visit always comment on how welcoming and stylish our home is - we travel a lot for work so we have lovely art, rugs and furniture from around the world).
I'm good with money and sticking to a budget (this I had to learn over time!).
A while ago I started a capsule wardrobe for myself (one for work and one for evenings/weekends), and since then I buy clothes that fit better and are better quality and that all go together. I've been getting compliments on how well put together I am these days (and I have WAY less clothes in my closet!).
I always remember to send thank you notes (and now I make my daughters do it too after their birthdays and Christmas). I'm sad that people don't do this more often.
I'm a good listener. My husband and my girls (and family and friends) always say that they can tell me anything. This is also something I actively worked on about 5 years ago; previously I never actually heard what people were saying.
I'm really, really, really organised.

(Edited for formatting)

Title	What are your feminine skills?
Author	LowKeiB
Upvotes	11
Comments	36
Date	April 10, 2017 7:11 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/64i5hr/what_are_your_feminine_skills/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-are-your-feminine-skills.87158 https://theredarchive.com/post/87158

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