When your friends make the wrong decisions...

stripethrowaway · 2018-12-16T11:09:03+00:00

Dating these days is rough. I've seen nice girls get burned so many times that they start riding the carousel, not because they want to, but because that's just what a lot of girls do now and staying emotionally distant keeps the wounds from being re-opened.

When I was in the dating pool, it was pretty obvious that the same 100 girls were probably all swiping right on the same 100 guys and hoping they had a relationship shot at the few men with full inboxes.

It's hard when so many different elements are at play, between phones, internet, hookup culture, and playing games to get what you want, it's hard to know the right way.

I think that the best thing you can do is try to be there for your friends. Celebrate when they nab that hottie and show up with ice cream when they end up with a dud. Maybe some day they will come around, maybe they won't. But if they do, in sure you're going to be there for them and know how to lead by example.

Zegiknie · 2018-12-16T19:26:20+00:00

Let it goooooooo!

They're your friends, not your kids. If they ask for advice, advise them. If they just want sympathy, sympathise. Just enjoy their company and the tales they tell. Everyone is responsible for their own growth, if you're over-invested you're just going to be frustrated. You can't yank on a plant and expect it to grow faster. Appreciate them for the cute little seedlings they are :-)

Nobody ever appreciated anyone elses lying awake worrying on their behalf. Get a good nights sleep :-)

riseoftherice · 2018-12-16T10:26:26+00:00

Secretly want a relationship as in they say it to you but not to their partners or secretly won't admit to themselves? If it's the former then all you can do is ask them questions to help them self-reflect and maybe be an example. If it's the latter, can't do much about that.

Frustrating but they're friends so we love them anyway 🤷

Lizziloo87 · 2018-12-16T15:14:44+00:00

I used to be these girls. I had a friend like you who was fed up with my backwards decisions that never served me.

She confronted me on it and it did not go well. I wasn’t mature enough to handle hearing the hard truth.

It took a bad heartbreak for me to realize I’ve been making terrible dating choices and I then cleaned up my act. I made a list of qualities of guys I’d like to date and then asked myself if I’d be that type of guys type. Well, I sure wasn’t.

So then I worked on myself. But it had to be my choice. On my time. I didn’t listen to my friend because I wasn’t open to hearing it and I was still hung up on certain bad for me men.

In your situation you could possibly give them advice if they ask for it or model it in your own life and perhaps they’ll become interested in what you’re doing. They might not too.

masterofthebarkarts · 2018-12-17T14:46:45+00:00

Man, I totally understand this frustration. I have a close friend who is incredibly brilliant academically and just an idiot about boys. She'll literally say to me "I know this guy is a jerk and will probably break my heart but I am just so into him..." Girl, no. You aren't 17, you know better, you're literally already aware that he is bad for you and will break your heart...what are you doing?? And then she wants sympathy when the dude breaks her heart. It's a major strain on our friendship because if I tell her to stop being an idiot, she'll get really hurt and offended, but I can't muster sympathy anymore.

AnnaAerials · 2018-12-16T14:01:30+00:00

All the friends I had like this eventually disappeared from my life. If they are open, loving and worthwhile friends you can encourage them and share with them what you know about redpill- make it fun, do a “no guys for a month” thing with a goal to self improvement.

If they are serial repeaters, ask for advice then continue living the way they do and are on a destructive cycle, I will tell you, be careful. In my experience these people are very taxing as friends and high value men despise them quite frankly. My current SO was quietly horrified I was “bestfirends” with someone in that lifestyle. Thankfully she was on her way out of my life after I was refusing to go drink with her.

Men take who you have as friends seriously. This may not be a worry to you which is fine, but just keep it in mind.

Edit: sorry if that came across as “dump your friends” because that isn’t what I meant at all. For me, I had to seperate myself from people who I couldn’t help/ didn’t want help. For you, you know the situation best and you seem to be completely aware that isn’t something you would condone. Just a heads up :)

HarshaCity · 2018-12-16T20:17:43+00:00

It's a difficult thing on it's own to keep yourself from making stupid mistakes, let alone preventing others from doing so.

I personally give my advice just once. I give my advice a second time only if asked. Other than that I'm generally being there for my friends just like how /u/stripethrowaway pointed out.

ragnarockette · 2018-12-16T13:09:39+00:00

Most of my girlfriends are in wonderful, loving marriages.

And then there are the 3 or 4 alpha widows.

Title	When your friends make the wrong decisions...
Author	redwatch95
Upvotes	14
Comments	32
Date	December 16, 2018 10:11 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/a6o0ke/when_your_friends_make_the_wrong_decisions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/when-your-friends-make-the-wrong-decisions.67970 https://theredarchive.com/post/67970

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