Not being a “normal” girl

ParamedicCapable6484 · 2021-12-30T08:25:35+00:00

Alot of those ppl partying and doing all the drinking are empty inside and chasing fleeting pleasures that end up in addiction and other negative things just stay humble and be thankful ur set apart from that lifestyle, most of the way ppl act in college with the partying drinking and multiple partners are usually because this is what tv and media social conditioning and the culture have told them this is what youth are "supposed" to do to be fulfilled and that this is what fun is but all these things just expand the soul void unfortunately and end up leaving ppl more hollow.(ex addict here that did all those things and was left hollow) I am Thankful Jesus saved me from that lifestyle. Also even just media conditions the anti men and the caricature of a strong independent female that doesn't need a man, alot of ppl need to unlearn those things and if they don't they're doomed to bad relationships and marriages. Keep going but remember ppl will think ur odd for not partaking in those things. Make sure u have an account for ur lifestyle and try to be a guiding light 🙏

Tl,Dr Don't do drugs lol n be humble

kisscam001 · 2021-12-30T06:03:06+00:00

I was someone who in the first couple years of college forced myself to have fun in the way you describe.. “partying, focusing on boys etc”. And while I learned a lot about myself in the process , I realized that it wasn’t something that I enjoyed (in fact, it kinda hurt me). Social media makes it seem like everyone is having more fun than you are but I as I grew I realized that I valued different things … being healthy, having a close knit group of friends, my classes. Don’t let anyone tell you this isn’t normal :)

You’re still allowed to have fun. But I’d ask yourself if it’s something YOU want to do… not something you’re feeling pressured to do.

cats5483 · 2021-12-30T05:43:33+00:00

im 18 as well, not in college yet (taking a gap year), so i cant share my own experience. however, my mom partied a lot in college. drugs, clubs, sleeping around, etc. and she told me she regrets it and wishes she focused more on studying. her promiscuity and partying caused some problems that i wont get into. she is doing a lot better now, thankfully.

my advice: dont feel pressure to be like everyone else. find your own happiness. personally, i have no interest in partying and hookup culture. i am very happy exploring my hobbies and doing activities I enjoy and surrounding myself with people who feel the same as me.

lunavicuna · 2021-12-30T06:12:10+00:00

there are actually plenty of girls like you in college. you just don't see them since they don't go out much or they just do other stuff like go to the gym or hang out with friends in their dorm rooms. they just go to class and then go to their dorm rooms.

i'd say try to make friends with girls like that.

Protocol_Apollo · 2021-12-30T18:33:48+00:00

I honestly just feel bad about my life. I feel like I’m wasting it away because I’m young and not partying and sleeping around. I just feel guilty and left out it honestly hurts.

Are you trying to win the battle or win the war?

Keep the path you are on. Don’t let your friends influence you, and make no mistake, they will.

They will have conversations with overt persuasive tones trying to get you to do what they do.

Just smile and nod your head and do what you are going to do anyway. Or just say you are picky/haven’t found your type. Obfuscate if you have to if they ask you what’s your type and try to find you someone. “I don’t know but I’ll know it when I see it.”

As long as you show you aren’t judging what your friends are doing, they will probably leave you alone.

This is probably biggest reason why women try to convince other women to slut it up: one less person to judge them. (That and women have a tendency to poison drip each other, maybe it’s subconscious desire to undermine potential competition).

Keep these friends as long as they are good friends but try expanding your circle to meet more similarly minded women too.

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

CountTheBees · 2021-12-30T22:57:25+00:00

The problem with sleeping around is that it has consequences and no one really tells you about what the consequences are when you're young and hot. I will tell you.

1) you will fall for men that are FWB or only "casual". The less sexual experiences you've had the more likely this is. He could be all types of wrong, but if you sleep with him, suddenly he will be your "One" and you won't be able to get enough of him. He, in turn, will drop you like a hot potato. This happened to me, and, it does not work out. Even if you two do become boyfriend and girlfriend it'll still be all types of wrong, it won't work - trust me. Date seriously, have sex seriously. It's serious business.

2) if you have even one ONS, and then in later life when you start dating seriously, don't sleep with men straight away - if they find out about your ONS they will know that you find them less attractive than that man. Most self respecting men will not be able to get over this and will be either very resentful or just dump you. Having sex sooner with somebody else in your past than you did with him is not something you can talk out. Men do not get over this.

3) having a high N count will affect the way men see you and evaluate you as a wife. The more sexual partners you've had, the more men will be turned off by it for wife material. If a man finds out about all the freaky things you did in college, and sometimes men do, he may leave you, or if it's in the dating stages - he will pump and dump you, and never consider you for a wife.

If you want to be a wife and mother, consider the consequences of a party lifestyle. However, it doesn't mean you can't date. I encourage you to start dating because it is very common for women to find a husband at college. You can go to parties and have fun with your boyfriend. Be discerning.

Latter_Ad_6840 · 2021-12-30T07:21:29+00:00

It's really easy to tell people that the male attention you get from partying is cheap and not worth it, it's like telling people not to give into that impulse purchase and save for a higher future return, but it's hard to resist. I mean also the guys at that age are not ready to settle down, but some are, and you have the luxury of time to be picky.

This doesn't mean you can't ever have fun, but find groups that align more closely with what you want to do, like for example Christian groups usually meet up to do charity work and things like that, religious groups in general. Friendships are also so important to build up at your age, I'm older and it's very hard to make friends. People have set friend groups usually. College makes it easy for you to find friends with any interests or values you like through clubs, take advantage of that. Surround yourself with people who align more with who you want to be.

hailsaitama · 2021-12-30T15:57:11+00:00

Just know those partying and sleeping around friends are much less likely to be able to get married later in life, and less likely to have a family unit because of it. If that’s a risk you’re willing to take, then you can. Are you sure that it aligns with your values? It’s okay to stand out or be different from your peers.

bushca33 · 2021-12-30T20:44:26+00:00

Oh wow, this is me! I’m studying secondary education in college, and a lot of my classmates and friends are partying, drinking, and hooking up all the time. I’ve found that even having one friend who thinks like you/doesn’t go wild is nice, and that it’s important to just be yourself! If you ever need to chat or would like an online friend, please reach out to me!

Glad-Discount-4761 · 2021-12-30T06:24:24+00:00

I felt the same but i did made some friends like you.I found that they dont go out just like me.So when i started conversation,they were just like me.Now,we are neighbours.

nobodysbusiness33 · 2021-12-30T20:53:37+00:00

If I could give myself advice back when I was in college, I would seriously not care about what my classmates do. The only thing that matters is what makes you happy. If having a sucessful career makes you happy then study hard and get good grades. If getting a high value man makes you happy then work on your appearance and avoid the wrong company. Sleeping around will put you at risk to diseases and also reduce your chances of getting a good man. Partying and drinking are not bad if you can control yourself. It's okay to have fun without sleeping with guys and destroying your life.

ForeverSwinging · 2021-12-30T23:17:06+00:00

You’re good! By the time I got to college, I was used to doing my own thing despite what friends would tell me. I would join martial arts clubs and work out on my own because I wanted to be fit. I studied a lot to make sure I did well. I went to the occasional party, but was very cautious about what I had and how much. I didn’t make a lot of friends as a result but I’m still in touch with people who matter the most to me from those days. You know what you want, so don’t feel guilty for being so focused on getting it.

biitchstix · 2021-12-30T23:52:29+00:00

I don't know if this will help but I didn't really question much about modern society and toxic interpersonal dynamics (hookup culture, serial dating, fwbs, etc) until my early 20s. Which meant when I was collage age I unfortunately took part in the lifestyle you're describing your friends have. It was horrible, unhealthy, draining, lonely despite all the 'attention', I went home crying more often than not, I gained a large amount of weight from all the drinking and garbage late night food, my skin was horrible, I could go on and on about the unhealthy side effects and yet if you looked at my social media at the time I looked like I was having an absolute BLAST being the 'party girl'. It took a while to be to be self-critical because in my mind at the time thats just what people did for fun right? I must be having fun? Realizing I was in fact not having fun was the dumbest lightbulb moment I have ever had lol.

The people I know who are STILL involved in that lifestyle (I'm 26 now) are also incredibly unhealthy, some have STDs, some are addicted to drugs now because alcohol and a little weed stopped being enough, and they're all unable to maintain a stable relationship. The ones who grew out of it seem fine now but if you're in it for too long it seems to cause irreversible damage. Thats just a personal observation.

On surface level I can understand the feeling of FOMO and missing out but I promise you're not.

fumblingabout · 2022-01-01T20:22:44+00:00

With what it means to be a "normal" these days, my hat is off to you for daring to be different. Unfortunately, being different comes at the price of not relating to most people and most people not being able to relate to you.

I know the loneliness is hard right now, especially since you're early on in college where nearly everyone just lost their entire high school network. Most freshmen will feel the need to find new groups to fit into rather than taking the time to create a group that fits them. But most friend groups made in freshman year in the dorms naturally dwindle down to nothing by sophomore year as people move out of the dorms and grow into different interests and friendships.

It's an old saying but it's better to be alone while you find yourself and other people who complement your values rather than be surrounded by people who make you feel lonely and left out. You can and should still find value in meeting a variety of different people and learning what you can from their perspective, but don't feel pressured to go as far as living as they do. Once you find the right friend or group for you, you won't feel alone or feel like you need to betray yourself to fit in.

Since your goal is marriage, be assured that exceptional men who know their worth are not looking for today's "normal" women

paranoidblobfish · 2021-12-30T07:17:02+00:00

You just described me to a T. Although I'm an online student so I can avoid most of that kind of peer pressure. Maybe that's where some of the other people that don't want to partake in those activities go?

anothergoodbook · 2021-12-30T15:24:20+00:00

I suppose my question would be is that a lifestyle that actually interests you or do you just feel like you aren’t a part of something?

I think realizing that the “grass is always greener” is a good thing. There are pros and cons to each way of life. I never partied and got married/pregnant fairly young. I don’t regret not living that life of partying when young. Friends of mine that did party have more regrets than I do to be honest.

RevolutionaryYak4 · 2021-12-30T21:55:30+00:00

Use your newly gained interests to make more friends. i.e. You want to be a teacher. Connect with other teachers or other teaching passionate girls.

sadbitch55 · 2021-12-30T22:11:03+00:00

Don't feel bad about yourself because these habits of sleeping around and drinking are not good for your health, and will definitely make you older earlier and bring health problems in the long term if you engage in it, so, don't do it. Plus, it will make you uglier (seriously). Engage in HEALTHY habits because these are going to make you prettier and better in the long run. When it comes to male attention, learn to not depend on it, because no woman will have it for too long. So, learn to be happy having a healthy and discreet life.

MidwestGoon · 2022-01-02T14:54:50+00:00

Sent you a chat explaining the public school system, how it works, and what to expect once in it.

Title	Not being a “normal” girl
Author	EnvironmentalPipe672
Upvotes	56
Comments	23
Date	December 30, 2021 5:19 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/rrtgbk/not_being_a_normal_girl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/not-being-a-normal-girl.1089983 https://theredarchive.com/post/1089983

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