Posted this over on asktrp but realised this is a better place for it..

This is a legitimate ‘asking for a friend’ situation, he’s very BP and doesn’t know what to do so came to me for advice...so I’m asking you guys!

He met his girl when they were 17, they’re now 29 and live together.

He isn’t on Facebook, she is but rarely posts.

Recently she added a guy on there and he found out. This is the issue.

To give context, the last time she added ANYONE male or female was over 12 months ago.

This guy is someone who she has seen at work a few times (they are not coworkers, his family work there). She has admitted attraction to him to colleagues and once jokingly referred to him (not in his presence) as “her boyfriend”.

In short, she’s attracted to a guy and has randomly added him on Facebook despite being in a long term relationship.

He currently works abroad but is back soon to visit family (they will see each other) and next year he will be back permanently.

The warning bells for me with this situation are: 1) her age (approaching the wall) and 2) the fact she doesn’t add people on Facebook generally - seems odd.

My questions:

1) would you find this behaviour acceptable if it was your partner/spouse? Or is this somewhere you would draw a line?

2) what should my friend do at this point? He doesn’t want to snoop, and he’s not sure if he should call her out on it. At the same time, he feels disrespected and has no idea whether they are private messaging each other.

I have already told him he needs to work on himself, but he’s also looking for advice specific to this particular issue as he doesn’t know how to handle it.

Thanks