I read and read and lift. And fixing my situation and play these things out in my head and start to make progress and then something happens that makes me realize. I still ain’t shit.

I started a new job I had to stay late today.

When I walk in the door. I greet my wife and the kids. I can tell my wife is pissed off. As usually. I can’t stand coming home to a miserable wife. If I’m not providing constant love and attention and comfort. I’m surrounded by misery. The only way I found to be surrounded by positivity it is to keep providing comfort and then this happens and it’s just rewarding bad behavior. I’m at a loss

Anyway the attitude keeps coming. I just ignore it. I ask how everyone’s day was. She said fine. Every question or move after that is met with attitude. I get ready to go to the gym. And she comes stomping up the stairs. I ask her. What’s going on? Do you need something?

She said “I just need to sit down. I been going all day and I just want to sit down. It’s been a long day.”

I say. Then go sit down and chuckle

She says. I know you think I don’t do shit all day but sit around.

I cut her off and say why would I think that. I can see what you did.

She said I know what you think.

I said “you don’t know and thank you for doing. X, X, and X. Now go sit down.”

she said. I don’t need validation. These are my wifely duties. I just been going all day. And I’m tired and frustrated.

So now I’m in her fucking frame again going to myself. We’ll if I go to the gym. Then I’m going to have to put up with an even more miserable wife. Who’s been home with screaming kids. While doing house hold tasks. And then I leave and it makes it worst.

So I just stfu and walk away.

I suck at this shit. I read and read. And think I get it. Then this shit pops up and I draw a blank from everything I read. And get frustrated but the person around me is always pissed off.

I swear she sees me doing everything around the house then feels pressure to also be doing everything. Then get overwhelmed with the kids. Stressed from her job. And then takes it out on me.

I literally get so frustrated when I see a lot of you guys having your shit together here and I’m reading NMMNG for the 3rd time and still am fucking up.